The Owl House Page #2

Season #1 Episode #2: Witches Before Wizards

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Luz:
What has four hooves and wants to buy a potion? This guy.

Centaur:
[sighs and lowers the pumpkin to reveal his face is on his chest] My eyes are down here.

Luz:
[exclaims]

[Cut to a house, where Luz rings the doorbell. She leaves her hand on the button, and the doorbell bites her hand and slowly starts to eat her arm. King walks away in annoyance.]

[Cut to a curb, where Luz and King are sitting, the latter scarfing down a Not Dog from the cart behind them.]

King:
[sighs] I know I've had enough delight for one day.

Luz:
I thought being the only human in a magical world would make me special. But apparently, it just makes everyone want to scream at me or... [holds up her arm to reveal a small winged creature biting her elbow] eat me. [flings the creature away and sighs, opening her book] At this point, Azura had already been sent on an enchanted quest. Where's my quest‐granting wizard?

King:
Sorry to break it to you, Luz, but no one here is that well‐dressed.

Luz:
This has been a rough day. [stands and hefts the potions sack over her shoulder with a grunt; takes out a piece of paper and starts down the alley] Let's just deliver this last package and go home. Maybe this world isn't what I thought it wa‐‐ [gasps] Pretty!

[Cut to reveal a large castle with golden banners illuminated by sunlight. The doorbell is also made of gold, and towering wooden doors open after Luz presses it.

King:
Big houses always belong to big whackjobs. Let's kick the package inside and get outta here.

Luz:
[walking inside and ignoring King] Hello?

King:
Hey, wait. [runs after Luz, yelping when the doors slam behind him] Weh!

Luz:
[entering a room] I‐I'm delivering a package from Miss Eda, the Owl Lady. Huh?

[Lanterns around the room flare on, revealing it to be a massive library. They illuminate a grand staircase, above which is a painting of a wizard. Said wizard enters from a door in the same pose he has in the painting.]

Luz:
[gasps] Today just got good.

[Ad break. Camera pans up the wizard.]

Luz:
[dancing excitedly] Magical wizard!

King:
Weird old man in jim‐jams.

Adegast:
[descending the stairs] I was in my oscillarium, reading the stars. And who might you be, with eyes full of curiosity?

Luz:
Uh, I‐I'm‐‐

Adegast:
[running up to the two of them] Young lady, dareth I say, I sense something unique about you. Please, won't you join me for tea?

[Adegast summons two chairs and a table of snacks. He sits down in the white throne.]

Luz:
[gasps] Okay.

King:
[grabbing Luz's leg] Let's scram! [climbs up to Luz's shoulder] Wizards are just old people with glitter in their pockets.

[Adegast takes a handful of glitter out of his pocket and drops it on the floor.]

King:
I don't trust him.

Luz:
But the stars on his robe are sparkling. And look, there's a baby fox in his beard.

[The baby fox giggles.]

Luz:
Plus, I see scones on the table.

King:
Where?

[King pants as he runs to the table. Luz follows him, dropping the bag of potions in front of the chair as she sits in it.]

Luz:
We'd love to join you for tea.

[King munching]

Luz:
[turns and notices a cart of potions] Do you sell potions, Sir Wizard?

Adegast:
Please, call me Adegast. Ma'am, yes, I run a small business.

King:
[munching, holds up an empty plate] You should run a small business of more scones into my mouth. [chuckles] Yes!

Adegast:
I'm surprised to see you here. It was my understanding that Eda delivered the packages herself.

Luz:
Well, I'm kinda, sorta, her apprentice.

Adegast:
Oh! And how are you finding the experience so far?

Luz:
[holds a fake grin before sighing] Can I be honest, Mr. Adegast? When I decided to stay in this magical world, I thought I was meant for something special. But Eda thinks I'm meant for chores and I'm afraid I came to the wrong place.

Adegast:
[approaching Luz] Well, I have a quest‐‐

Luz:
A quest?

[cup shatters]

Adegast:
[chuckles] You didn't let me finish. I have a question.

Luz:
Oh.

Adegast:
Would you like to go on a quest?

Luz:
Yes!

Adegast:
[reaches into his beard and pulls out a scroll] I might have just the thing. [unrolls the scroll to reveal a map] The prophecy speaks of a young human girl who will claim the Celestial Staff and free this world from an ancient evil. Perhaps thou hath cometh here for a reason.

Luz:
Perhaps I hath. [takes the map]

Adegast:
Should you believe yourself worthy to attempt this quest... [begins walking through his house]

Luz:
[follows him] So worthy.

Adegast:
...you need to know the road is dark and perilous.

Luz:
Love peril. Big fan of peril.

Adegast:
And only the Chosen One can pull the staff from its post.

Luz:
[stops walking] Chosen one.

King:
[walking past Luz with the bag of potions] Neat story, awesome. Anyway, your food is gone and we are, too.

Luz:
Yes, we have to go. And pack for this enchanted quest! I'm in.

Adegast:
Wonderful.

[Cut to Luz's bedroom, where she's sheathing the toy sword from earlier. Around her are various potions, food, the quest scroll, and of course her Azura book.]

Luz:
So, King, what kind of Chosen One should I be?

King:
[kneading Luz's sleeping bag, yawns and lies down] Huh? What?

Luz:
[picks up her book] Should I be full of optimism and goodness, like the Good Witch Azura? Or should I be like a bad girl Chosen One with black nail polish and a mysteriously withdrawn attitude? [uses the book as a mouth] "I act like I don't care, but I secretly do."

Eda:
Oh, you guys talking about bad girls? Wait, what's going on?

King:
Eda, tell Luz how dumb wizards are.

Eda:
[gesturing with a severed arm and almost hitting King several times] Ugh! Wizards are the worst. Never trust a man in casual drapery. [laces her fingers with the severed arm's] Why?

King:
Your wizard client told Luz... [laughs] she was a‐‐ [laughing] was a Chosen One! [laughing]

Eda:
Wait, wait, Luz? [snickers] [laughs]

King:
He even gave her a map.

[Eda and King laugh as Luz hides behind her book, an embarrassed blush on her face.]

Eda:
Let me see this map.

[Luz hands her the map. She inspects it for a few seconds.]

Eda:
You didn't think this was real, did you?

Luz:
What?

Eda:
This map is bunk. There's no lake with a Celestial Staff on the Boiling Isles. I would have stolen it ages ago. [notes Luz's down face and hands her the map back] Ah, don't worry. Couple more months here and you won't look like such a mark.

Luz:
Can I have some time alone?

[Eda shrugs and leaves the room. King hops off of Luz's sleeping bag and follows Eda. The door closes, casting the room in shadow.]

Luz:
Maybe they were right. [leans against the wall before sliding down it to the floor] Huh?

[Sunlight is illuminating one corner of the map, revealing the word "one" in shining blue lettering. Luz holds the entire map up to the light revealing the message: "The chosen one The path will only appear to the worthy".]

Luz:
"The path will only appear to the worthy." [gasps] That's why Eda couldn't see it. But am... I really worthy?

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