The Owl House Page #2

Season #1 Episode #11: Sense and Insensitivity

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Luz:
Well King, it's just you and me for a while. [gasps]

[In the minute she's been gone, King has transformed the room. Drawings of King and screaming people are on the corkboard. Luzura is now in the trash. King is typing peacefully.]

King:
Hey hey Luz, great news!

Luz:
What have you done?!

[Even the banner has been changed, now reading "RULER'S REACH".]

King:
I just made a few tiny edits and this baby is humming!

Luz:
[picks up drawing] Luzura dies?

King:
I know, right! What a twist!

Luz:
King, I know you're trying to help, but I think you're crossing a line.

King:
Yeah, into greatness. Don't you want us to win?

Luz:
If this is how you want to win, maybe you should submit the story on your own. [leaves]

King:
What?

[door closes]

King:
Bah! What does she know?

Typewriter:
What the heck man? Learn to collaborate.

King:
Hush you! I'll prove to both of you my story is superior.

[Cut to Grimgrub's Pub. King bursts in.]

King:
Hey you scum! Which one of you wants to read my literary masterpiece! Anyone brave enough?

Patrons:
[growl]

[King is thrown out of the pub.]

King:
Oof!

[His book is thrown out and hits him in the head.]

King:
Nyah! Ugh.

Piniet:
I'll read your story. [takes King's book, reads it fast] You wrote this?

King:
Yup, that's me! Only me.

Piniet:
Let me get you a fruit punch.

King:
Ooh. I love punching.

[Cut to inside. Piniet snaps. A glass of fruit punch is slid on the counter toward King.]

Piniet:
I'm Piniet, of Piniet Publishing House. And your name is... King?

King:
It's more of a rank than a name.

Piniet:
I loved your story, so much better than the submissions we got for the competition. I want to buy it and publish it for everyone to read. I'll make you as famous as Jon De Plume.

[Camera pans to Jon De Plume getting cheered on by fans as he does finger guns. He falls backwards, and Amelia and Skara rush to act as a chair for him.]

King:
I've always wanted a people chair! I'm in! This will be my first step in my reclamation of power!

Piniet:
[pulls a contract out of his jacket] Then all you have to do is sign here.

[Piniet puts the contract on the counter. King dunks his paw in the punch and smacks it on the signature line. The contract glows when Piniet picks it up. He rolls it and puts it back in his jacket.]

King:
You're ominous. And I like it.

Piniet:
Get ready to be famous Mr. King.

[They shake hands.]

[Cut to a forge, where creatures are jumping on a bellow. A witch pulls a molten ball out of the fireplace. They strike it with a hammer, then cool it in a barrel. The cooled chunk smashes on a table, revealing King's book. Cut to a cartful of the books arriving at a bookstore. Mattholomule takes a bundle of them out and tosses it on the welcome mat, which carries it inside.]

Welcome Mat:
Ouch! Jeez.

[Cut to the market.]

Reviewnicorn:
It's the perfect blend of heart and heartlessness! Like two authors mashed into one! [neighs]

[Cut to the library, where a cardboard cutout of King is leaning against a stand of Ruler's Reaches. A crowd comes and goes, leaving no book behind. Skara returns to kiss and steal the cardboard cutout. Cut to King wearing a jacket, scarf, and sunglasses as he walks the streets of Bonesborough, past bookstores and loaded shelves.]

King Cardboard Cutout: Spend money on my thing I wrote. Spend money on my thing I wrote.

Crowd:
[gasps] Oh my God! it's the King, I can't believe it!

[The crowd tosses King into the air. More people arrive, waving their copies of Ruler's Reach and pens.]

Tiny Nose:
Mr. King! I love your writing. Please read my story!

King:
[laughs] Oh my, always good to meet minions. I mean fans. [signs Tiny Nose's story and throws it back at her]

Tiny Nose:
You're my inspiration.

[Cut to the forest. Eda walks into a clearing, consulting her map. She rips vines off of a statue.]

Eda:
Okay, from the Minitaur, I head due north, and with luck, I'll get to the Bloom of Eternal Youth before Lilith! [laughs, snorts] Who's frail now, emperor dorks?

[branch cracks]

Eda:
[gasps] Someone's following me.

[With a snap, she summons a blue sword. She ducks behind the statue. Lilith walks into the clearing, looking worse for wear. Eda summons a fireball and runs out from behind the statue.]

Eda:
Spicy toss!

Lilith:
Aah!

Eda:
Lilly?

Lilith:
Edalyn?

[Eda vanishes both of her weapons.]

Lilith:
[sighs] And of course you would be here just to be a nuisance. Why don't you go home and rest? Wouldn't want you breaking a hip.

Eda:
Sorry sister, I'm stronger than you think. I'm here to save the Bloom of Eternal Youth from the likes of you. [runs; singsong] And I'm gonna get there before you!

Lilith:
Aah! No you won't!

[Cut to Luz's room. Luz is writing on the typewriter.]

King:
Hey Luz!

[Luz looks up and glares at King.]

King:
Guess who won the writing competition and became a blockbuster writer superstar?

[He slides into the room while Luz resumes typing.]

King:
You're right, it's me! Me! Do you wanna touch my scarf? A fan crocheted it out of their own hair! It smells so bad!

[Luz continues typing.]

King:
My publisher is throwing a huge party for my book, Ruler's Reach. [puts an invitation on the table] And I, uh, I'd like for you to be there

[Luz sweeps the invitation off the table. It hits the floor and she continues typing.]

King:
Alright, fine! Be that way I guess.

[King leaves. Luz stops typing and looks up.]

Luz:
[sighs]

Typewriter:
Girl, you don't need him.

Luz:
But I don't want to be mad at him either.

[She picks up the invitation and opens it. Inside is a golden paper that says "MEET THE AUTHOR TONIGHT ONLY @ BONESBOROUGH LIBRARY". A picture of King in a blue sweater is in the middle.]

[Cut to the library, which has an extensive line outside of it. Inside, King and Piniet are sitting at a table.

Fan:
Your fans are dying to know when Ruler's Reach 2 comes out!

King:
That's between me and my publisher, right Piniet?

Piniet:
Yes. Ooh pardon me, I need a few moments of King's time.

[Piniet walks off. King looks back at his fans and throws a peace sign, making them scream. Cut to the aisle in front of the romance section.]

King:
Where's Jon De Plume at? I wanted to compare sunglasses.

Piniet:
Oh he's taking a break to finish his latest masterpiece. Fame can really box you in, you know? Uh, speaking of, how's your second book coming along?

King:
Coming along? Or finished! [pulls out a manuscript] Bam! Haha! Ruler's Reach 2 - now with more swears!

Piniet:
Ahhh! Splendid! [reads story] Oh you cad! Not only are you a great writer, but a practical joker as well!

King:
That's true- wait, what?

Piniet:
Oh, this is truly awful! Looking forward to the real draft. [hands manuscript back and walks away]

King:
Truly awful? But I'm a best-selling writer. How?

[Luz enters the library, looking generally disinterested.]

King:
Luz! I can't write without her!

[King runs up to Luz.]

King:
Luz, buddy! I'm so glad you could make it!

Luz:
Hey King, I didn't wanna be angry at your success. You're my friend. So, congratulations!

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