The Owl House Page #4

Season #1 Episode #11: Sense and Insensitivity

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Piniet:
This is much more gushy than your last book.

King:
Skip to the finale, because it is quite a payoff.

[Piniet rolls his eyes. He keeps reading. Luz and King prepare to move. Piniet gets to the last page.]

Piniet:
What is this all about?

[He flips it around to reveal a light glyph drawn on the last page.]

Luz:
Light spell!

[Luz reaches through the hole in the box and activates the glyph. The manuscript catches fire and turns into a blinding ball of light that rapidly disappears.]

Piniet:
Ugh!

King:
Ugh, I just realized I should've said enlightening. "Skip to the finale, you'll find it enlightening."

Luz:
King! The contract!

[King's contract is hanging out of Piniet's pocket.]

King:
Pretentious scarf, go!

[King uses the scarf as a lasso and pulls Piniet toward them. Luz grabs the contract and rips it in half with her teeth. The box explodes.]

Piniet:
I made you a star, and this is how you repay me?

King:
No, this is!

[King opens Piniet's briefcase. The cubed authors jump out and attack Piniet, screaming. Luz runs past, carrying King. They run into the two reptilian guards at the door. Piniet frees himself of the authors.]

Piniet:
You are making this harder than it needs to be! And believe me, I am being very patient! [steps on a cubed author] But let's...

[Piniet pulls a pen from his jacket. He pops the cap off and presses a button. The nib of the pen extends into a large two headed battle axe, which he raises above his head.]

Piniet:
...cut to the finish.

[The doors are burst open, sending the guards flying.

All:
[looking at the door] Huh?

Tiny Nose:
King! I am your biggest fan! [runs over a guard, stands between King and Piniet] And I fought my way back here for you...to read my story?

King:
I'm sorry, my lawyer advised me not to look at unsolicited work.

Tiny Nose:
But... but... eep!

Piniet:
[takes her story] Ugh! If I read this, will you go? So I can annihilate them in peace?

Tiny Nose:
Of course!

[Piniet tosses his battle axe, adjusts his glasses, and slowly reads. Luz and King look at each other, then one of the guards. The guard shrugs. Piniet finishes the story. He's nearly crying.]

Piniet:
Oh, it's beautiful! You, you must let me publish this! I can make you a star!

Tiny Nose:
Really!

King:
Wait a minute. What about King?

Piniet:
Ugh! [takes King's jacket] You're old news. She on the other hand is the future! [drapes King's jacket and sunglasses over Tiny Nose]

Author #3:
Whoo-hoo!

Author #4:
Freedom!

King:
Hey!

Luz:
King! We're good then?

Piniet:
[waves them away] Yes, quite.

[Luz picks King up and backs out of the dressing room.]

Tiny Nose:
[shoots off finger guns] Pachew, pachew.

[Cut to the forest, where the merchant is beat up.]

Eda:
Well, we wrecked this chump. But I guess the Bloom of Eternal Youth isn't real. [sighs]

Lilith:
Well, if it makes any difference, I don't consider you to be a tired old bitty.

Eda:
Really?

Lilith:
If you were, you'd be much easier to catch.

Eda:
Oh great, you're gonna cart me away to the coven now, are you?

Lilith:
Not now. Because I want to give you a chance to join on your own! Join me in the Emperor's Coven, Edalyn. [holds out her hand] He could even heal your curse.

Eda:
[pushes Lilith's hand down] No, I'll heal it on my own terms. I don't wanna owe him anything. Catch you later, sis.

Lilith:
Not if I catch you first.

Eda:
[smiles; summons her staff] I'll see you around. [flies off]

Lilith:
[sighs]

Merchant:
You're welcome for the chance to bond.

Lilith:
[shoots him with a fire spell]

Merchant:
[yells]

[Cut to the Owl House as Eda lands outside. Luz and King are snoring on the couch until Eda opens the door.]

Eda:
Hey, kids. Woof. [drops her staff, cracks her back] That was a rough couple days.

Luz:
Yeah, I'll say.

Eda:
[sits on the couch] Ah. Well, nothing a bit of apple blood and a good book can't mend.

Luz:
Books?

King:
Nope, I don't know nothing about that.

Luz:
We hate books. Wow, look at the time!

King:
What's a book? Good night!

[Luz does a back-handspring out of the room while King just runs away. Eda watches them go, then notices Ruler's Reach on the coffee table.]

Eda:
Huh? What the-

Typewriter:
Girl, you do not want to know.

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