The Owl House

Season #1 Episode #13: The First Day

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[Open on a dark backstage. Luz activates a light glyph and holds it between her and Eda.]

Luz:
I-I'm not ready for this Eda. Maybe we should go back.

Eda:
Nah kid, you got this, just do what we practiced!

Luz:
But what if... What if I mess something up? Or what if I do something wrong? [gasps] What if I die?

Eda:
Hey. Calm down, calm down. I had to do the same thing when I was a witchling. It's like a rite of passage. Granted, I was a little more skilled.

Luz:
Eda!

Eda:
Right, right. Sorry, sorry. Now, get pumped.

Luz:
Pumped!

Eda:
Get ready.

Luz:
[pulls hood up] Ready!

Eda:
Now, go! [shoves her]

[Cut to the stage, a spotlight aimed at the closed curtains and a banner reading "Hexside School: Entrance Exams." The curtains open. Luz jumps on stage in a dark cloak.]

Luz:
[movie trailer narrator voice] From the humblest of beginnings, a hero will rise. [normal voice] I have traveled from another realm and trained with a powerful witch to master dark and forbidden magic. I am... [takes cloak off with a twirl] Luz Noceda!

[Reveal the audience, which is empty except for Principal Bump sitting in the front row with a clipboard.]

Luz:
[chuckles awkwardly, tosses confetti out of a fanny pack] Confetti!

Principal Bump:
Right. The human that wants to be a witch. Against my better judgement, I've allowed you to take this exam into Hexside. But can you even do magic with all your... human parts?

Luz:
I sure can. [zips open fanny pack] It's said that humans can't do magic, [pulls out papers and shows them to both sides of the auditorium] but I discovered a lost technique that changes everything.

Principal Bump:
Hmm?

[Eda gives two thumbs-up from backstage. Luz activates the light glyph and lets the ball rise. She moves the ice glyph under the light and activates it. Luz beams and does jazz hands.]

Principal Bump:
Spells cast with paper? I've never heard of such a thing. [to himself] But is it enough to pass the exam?

Luz:
Uhh...

Eda:
Improvise.

Luz:
Um, I can do other things, what about... this? [stands, flips eyelids inside out] Bleep, bloop, bleep!

[Principal Bump is not impressed.]

Luz:
Ow ow! Eyelash! Eyelash!

[Luz slips on the melted ice pillar and falls into her abandoned cloak. She stands and tries to free herself, falling off the stage and onto Principal Bump. She rolls off him.]

Luz:
Sorry, sorry, sorry! [places hand on an ice glyph] Whoops! AH!

[The ice pillar lifts her up by one foot until she's eye level with Principal Bump.]

Luz:
I failed didn't I?

Principal Bump:
Believe it or not, I've seen worse.

Luz:
[falls on her face]

Principal Bump:
Welcome, Luz, to Hexside School of Magic and Demonics! [drops pamphlet on her head]

Luz:
[weakly] Hurray.

[THEME]

[Cut to Eda and Luz flying on Eda's staff. Luz is wearing a Hexside uniform, though the normal uniform part is lighter than most and her sleeves and leggings are very light gray.]

Luz:
Mmm, we gotta go back. This was a mistake! I'm gonna mess things up again and everyone will see, and-

Eda:
Right, you gotta calm down. What are you nervous about? You've been to school before.

Luz:
That's why I'm nervous! At my human school, I didn't make a good first impression. This is a chance to be seen as something other than a screw-up.

Eda:
Hey, don't worry about what those dorks think. If you want my advice, walk into class and punch the first kid you see. To establish dominance.

Luz:
Aw, I won't be doing that. But thanks.

[They land at Hexside. Luz dismounts.]

Eda:
Last chance to back out, and earn a new Bad Girl Coven patch. [holds up a patch that reads "Quitter Badge"] Quitting: It's like trying, but easier.

Luz:
Nah, I'll just earn it when I quit showering. Bye! [runs off]

Eda:
Hold up! [throws hand at Luz's head] Just try not to be too much of a goody Luz shoes. [screws hand back on] You got this.

Luz:
Thanks, Eda. In fact, [pulls sock puppets of her and Eda out of her pockets] I have written a heartfelt sonnet to commemorate this occasion.

Eda:
[flying away] Whoops! A gust of wind just got me. See you after school! Byeeee!

Luz holding Puppet Eda: You're gonna do great, kid.

Luz:
Thanks, Puppet Eda.

[Cut to a banner reading "WELCOME TO THE NEW SEMESTER". Various students are arriving at Hexside. Luz looks around with a smile on her face. Amity and an abomination come up to her.]

Amity:
[her abomination mirroring her movements] Hey, Luz! Congrats on getting in. And not being in the baby class.

Luz:
Thanks, Amity! Up top!

[Amity high-fives Luz. Amity's abomination slaps Luz's face, leaving abomination mud behind. Amity and her abomination walk off.]

Luz:
[wipes mud off her face] Blegh! Wow, my first day at Hexside. A chance to discover my true magical potential. And maybe meet a hot yet vulnerable upperclassman.

King:
Dream on!

Luz:
King?

King:
[pops out of Luz's backpack] Boop! [jumps to the ground]

Luz:
Why are you in my bag?

King:
You're a free ride to the best buffet in town! Nyah! [hops into trash can, comes out with a half-eaten donut] The trash cans here are filled with half-eaten gold!

Luz:
Okay, but if anyone asks, you don't know me. [walks away]

King:
Have a wonderful school day, person-I-don't-know!

Abomination Student: I really needed to hear that.

[Cut to the main staircase.]

Willow & Gus: Luz!

Luz:
Hello, fellow Hexoleos!

Willow:
Hello, classmate! [winks]

Gus:
You did it, Luz! [summons letters reading out "BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!"] Sorry, I was, uh, covering all my bases.

Willow:
So, do you know who those witches are? [gestures to nine banners] Those are the heads of the main nine covens. Each one excelled at a magic school like Glandus, St. Epiderm, and, of course, Hexside. Are you prepared to enter these hallowed halls?

Luz:
Hmm, that's what I'm gonna figure out right now. [goes inside] See you on the other side, friends.

Gus:
See you later, Luz. [summons letters spelling out "GOODBYE FOREVER!"] You know what? I'm uh, I'ma just get rid of these.

[Cut to Principal Bump's office, where he's watching a crystal ball.]

Perry:
[on the crystal ball] A terrible development at Glandus High School. Students and teachers were found unconscious and without magic. The cause remains unknown.

Principal Bump:
Ha! Take that, Glandus! Looks like this year's Grudgby match is going to be a forfeit.

[door closes]

Luz:
Hiya, Princy-B! Can I call you that?

Principal Bump:
Absolutely not. Now, today we'll be visited by the Emperor's Coven for a routine inspection. If we want to impress them, you'll need to join a coven track before they arrive.

Luz:
Actually, Principal Bump, I've made my own schedule. [unfurls a scroll] First, Vet Care for Mythical Beasts, then Healing and Dealing, and then after lunch-

Principal Bump:
[laughs] Studying multiple tracks at once? No one does that.

Luz:
Then I'll be the first.

Principal Bump:
[very serious] No, you won't. [holds up rule book with Emperor's Coven logo on it] According to the rules, a good witch needs to hocus-focus. You can only pick one of the nine tracks. [points to the track banners above him] And you do not want to embarrass me in front of the inspector.

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