The Palm Beach Story Page #2

dollars, just like that? Just like that.

I mean, sex didn't even enter into

it? Oh, but of course it did, darling.

I don't think he'd have given it to me if I had hair

like excelsior and little short legs like an alligator.

Sex always has something

to do with it, dear. I see.

From the time you're about so big and wondering why your

girlfriends' fathers are getting so arch all of a sudden.

Nothing wrong. Just an overture

to the opera that's coming.

- I see.

- You don't really, but from then on,

you get it from cops, taxi drivers,

bellboys, delicatessen dealers.

- Got what?

- The look. You know: "How's about this evening, babe?"

- So this gent gave you the look.

- The Wienie King? Oh, no.

Oh, at his age, darling, it was really more

of a blink. Really? This is very illuminating.

Well, you don't have to get rigid about

it. It was perfectly innocent, I assure you.

Where'd you meet this Wienie King?

You'll die laughing when you

hear. All right. Convulse me.

In the bathtub.

In the bathtub?

Yes. Isn't that charming? Delicious.

What were you doing in the bathtub?

I was hiding from him. Hiding? What kind of

games do you play around here while I'm out?

I wish you could've seen the expressin

on his face. I'm glad I didn't.

How much water was there in the tub?

I was standing in the bathtub, foolish.

You were standing in the bathtub?

In my pink wrapper. Oh, darling,

he was just a funny little old man

in a funny hat.

- He sat on the edge of the bed and talked for a while.

- Oh, he's on the bed now, is he?

There aren't any chairs in the bedroom,

darling. What was he doing in the bedroom?

He wanted to rent the apartment,

but when he found out we were broke,

he gave me $700 and he left.

Just like that?

Well, I did kiss him good-bye.

Now the truth is coming out.

The... Oh. The truth.

You just tell me where this Wienie King lives, and I'll

take his money back to him and tell him what I think of him.

I don't know where he lives, darling. I don't even know

his name, and I don't think they'd give the money back...

I mean, the grocer

and the drugstore and all.

You really couldn't blame them after they

waited so long. That's right. Rub it in.

Tom?

Yes?

It's wonderful to have the rent paid,

isn't it, and the bills settled up?

You feel free and clean, and I like that

feeling. I wish it were always like that.

Don't you think I do?

I'd almost forgotten what it was like.

I don't look forward to being in

debt again, slinking past everybody.

I dread it. It isn't gonna be for always.

Everybody's a flop until he's a success.

Something's bound to come through.

I got too many good ideas.

Say, there's a $2.00 overcharge here.

Now that everything's paid up,

you could move.

Well, where'd we go?

I wasn't thinking about me.

I just meant you.

Oh, you mean the bust-up?

Mm-hmm.

When'd you get that idea? This afternoon?

I've had it for some time,

but something always said, "Wait till he crashes

through. Wait till he's made one success. "

You'll never make a success with me around.

I'm just a milestone around your neck.

Millstone. I'm no good for you, darling.

I don't mean I'm not good for somebody, but I can't cook or

sew or whip up a little dress out of last year's curtains.

What difference does that make? I'm just like a car that only

gives seven miles to the tankful, only you haven't got the tankful.

Are you sure

you haven't got a tankful?

You see, by yourself, you could live so

simply. I mean, just a little room anywhere...

or maybe move in with your brother

or even use the couch in your office.

And you wouldn't keep slipping back all the

time. You could balance what you earned...

and look the worid in the eye,

maybe even get ahead a little.

Thanks. And what would you be

doing? Oh, that's no problem.

You can always find a good provider if you really

want one. He may not look like a movie star, but...

We'll get ahead someday. But I don't want it

someday. I want it now, while I can still enjoy it.

Anyway, men don't get smarter

as they grow older; they just lose their hair.

Gerry. But I would! I'm very

tired of being broke, darling,

and feeling so helpless

about having my hands tied.

I could've helped you so many times, but every time

I tried to, you tried to punch the man in the nose.

Don't talk rot. How about that

president of the smelting company?

That wolf! Well, he's still the

president of a smelting company.

We might've been in the smelting

business now, and paying our rent.

Lovely. He liked you very much, he said.

The less I hear about that hyena, the better

I'll like it. But that's what's so irritating...

to know that I could get you someplace...

without doing any harm either.

You have no idea what a long-legged

gal can do without doing anything.

And instead of that, I have to watch you stamping

around proudly, like Sitting Bull in a new blanket,

breathing through your nose

while we both starve to death.

Thanks. You don't have to keep saying

"thanks" all the time. I'm not being so nice.

That's the first time I've said it. If you

want a divorce, you're certainly entitled to it.

I don't know where the money's coming

from. The next husband always pays for that.

Oh, you have him all picked out,

have you? Oh, you're such a child!

He doesn't happen to be in the sausage

business, by any chance, does he?

I may not even get married again.

I might become an adventuress.

I can just see you starting

for China on a 26-foot sailboat.

You're thinking of an adventurer, dear.

An adventuress never goes on anything

under 300 feet, with a crew of 80.

You just let me catch you on a 300-foot

yacht, or even a 200-foot yacht.

At least I wouldn't have to worry

about the rent.

Oh, I'm sorry. Let's go

and have some dinner, hmm?

How can you think of food at a moment

like this? Because I'm a woman, maybe,

and a little more practical

than you.

Are you going to put on your dinner

jacket, or shall I take off my new dress?

Is that a new dress?

You'll always be a sister to me, huh? I

know it sounds stupid, but I'm a rotten wife.

I can't sew. I can't cook.

You certainly can't.

But just because I'm a useless wife doesn't mean I couldn't

be very valuable to you as a sister, but very valuable.

I remember that pot roast you tried. And

all the boys who wanted to go out with me...

would naturally have to be in

your good graces. Naturally.

Or I wouldn't go out with them.

I'll say you wouldn't.

They'd probably offer you

partnerships. In the smelting business.

In the smelt... No.

You could have your choice.

I don't begin and end

with a smelter, you know.

I refuse to understand what you're talking

about, Geraldine. They'd work you in on deals...

and let you in on all the good things that were

happening in the market and that kind of business.

Monkey business. Well, very few pretty

giris' brothers have ever failed, you know.

If they knew enough to

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