The Palm Beach Story Page #3

come in out of a hailstorm.

In the first place, I don't happen to

be your brother. In the second place,

may I ask who are all these men

who are gonna faint at your feet?

You'd think there aren't any! I didn't say

there weren't any; I just said, "Where are they?"

They're around. They're always there.

And they make new ones every year.

I don't wanna be rude, honey, but I... You're

not being rude, dear; you're just being yourself.

You see, you're married to me.

That's like saying you're blind to me.

For a long time, I've been a part of you, just something

to snuggle up to and keep you warm at night, like a blanket.

But you can't see me any more

than you can see the back of your neck.

I've put on new dresses.

I changed my hair.

Would you mind not looking quite so

gorgeous while you say all these things?

You're just plastered. Yes, well, better

get you home before you fall apart.

Or do you object to spending the

night under the same roof with me?

I wasn't thinking

about the roof. Come on.

Just a minute.

I gotta pay the check.

I'll sleep on the thing here.

Well, you know we don't love each other

anymore. We're just habits... bad habits.

They don't make these zippers

as well as they used to.

And when love's gone, there's nothing

left but admiration and respect.

I think it's stuck.

Will you see if you can get it?

Come around here, in the light.

Keep still, will you?

You don't think

this is a little intimate, do you?

Tsk.

Doesn't mean anything to you

anymore to sit on my lap, hmm? No.

What if I... kiss you there?

Stop it. No.

Or here.

It's nothing.

Or here.

You know I'm ticklish.

Then why is your breath coming

faster? Because you're squeezing me.

That doesn't mean anything

to you anymore, huh?

Almost nothing.

Almost nothing, huh?

Almost nothing... nothing

but a habit, a bad habit.

It is, huh?

Very, very bad and wicked...

and stupid and useless...

and young and impractical and...

Yow!

Oh! Oh, darling!

What's the big idea?

Darling, read this note.

Huh? Good-bye. God bless

you. Take care of yourself.

Hey!

- Hey, will you wait a minute?

- No, I won't. I've made up my mind. It's best for both of us,

while we're still young enough

to make other connections.

But you're forgetting a little thing called

love, honey. I love you, and you love me.

- That's all that matters. That's all you

can take with you. Everything else is...

I'm so sorry.

Please accept all my apologies.

Gerry!

Hey, Officer, hold that woman!

She stole my suitcase!

Why, you lying...

You mean this one?

That's right.

I'll be right down.

Do I look like a suitcase stealer

to you? It isn't how you look;

it's how you behave

that counts in this worid.

Now, I mind the time, and...

Oh, wise guy.

Thank you for holding her, Officer. You wanna

prepare charges or something disagreeable like that?

No, I'd prefer not to. This is my

wife, Mrs. Jeffers. Mr. Mulligan.

The name happens to be O'Donnell,

if it's all the same to you,

and I have a good mind to charge you with false

arrest, only I don't know if I could make it stick.

Why don't you try? Oh, it's too

nice a mornin'. To heck with it.

Why don't you two learn

to get along together? I had to.

Now what? Now, will you come

back upstairs and be sensible?

No, I won't. Give me back my suitcase. It was hard

enough to make up my mind to do what I know is right.

If I don't do it now, I'll never be strong

enough again. Now, give me my suitcase.

Stop talking like a fool, Gerry. Where are

you going? To visit your sister in Long Island?

Taxi! No. I'm going to get a divorce.

How can you get a divorce without money?

How can you go anyplace? Why don't you

be sensible? You just got a hangover.

I don't need any money;

I've already told you. Taxi!

Yes, ma'am? Where's the

best place to get a divorce?

Gerry, for heaven's sake. Well, most people go to

Reno, Nevada, but for my money, it's Palm Beach.

This time of year, you got the track,

you got the ocean, you got palm trees.

Three months. You leave from Penn

Station. Look. I'm in awful trouble.

I haven't got a dime. Would you take me

there for nothing? To where? Palm Beach?

No, no. Just to the station.

Oh, sure. Hop in, babe.

Thanks. Listen, you. Listen what?

Will you give me my suitcase?

Give the lady her suitcase.

Listen, you! Oh! Now,

look what you've done!

Look what I've done?

Yeah. Look what you've done.

Hey!

What's the trouble now?

Taxi!

Pick this stuff up, will you?

Hey, you have to...

Gerry!

Gerry. Gerry, stop behaving like a chicken with its head

cut off. You haven't got any money. Where can you go?

I got this far, didn't I?

Gerry!

Where's my suitcase?

Listen, honey.

Good-bye.

Gerry, listen to me. You're making a fool out of

yourself. Officer, this man is trying to molest me.

Will you stop him? Where you goin' in such a hurry,

laddie? Let the dames alone at Pennsylvania Station,

Pennsylvania Station will

leave you alone and vice versa.

That's my wife, you dumb cluck!

So now I'm a dumb cluck, am I?

I like peace, but I ain't morbid about it.

Stop annoying these dames, or I'll lock you up!

Last call, Atlantic Coastline,

Florida Special, advance section,

leaving through Gate 12 in five minutes.

Attention, please.

Miami Special, due 11:21 track three,

arriving 12:
04 track six

from St. Petersburg, Tarpon Springs...

and Sarasota.

Pratt, Ale and Quail.

Billdocker.

Hitchcock.

- Hotchkiss.

- I see we got the club again, Ed.

You're tellin' me. Just let 'em

try and start somethin'. Hot dog.

Is there anything the matter, lady? Oh, I'll be

all right. I'm sure they'll come with my ticket.

Did somebody forget your ticket? I'm sure it'll be

all right. It's just that I have to get to Palm Beach.

That's too bad.

Dr. Kluck.

I'm sure they'll come.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, I'm sorry. I was

talking to the gate man.

McKeewie.

McKeewie.

I'm sure my ticket'll come. It must

come. Oh, yes, it must. By all means.

Asweld. You say your ticket didn't

come yet? You haven't got much time.

No, but it'll be here, I'm sure. Yeah,

well, if there's anything I can do...

Thank you.

Name, please.

Go ahead.

Hinch and valet.

Hinch and valet.

I'm sure it'll be all right. Is

there something the matter, madam?

Oh, nothing that anyone

can help me with, I'm afraid.

It just looks as if my ticket isn't

going to get here on time. My gracious.

There oughta be some solution

to that problem.

I can't think of any.

My gracious.

No ticket?

No ticket.

Jones.

Jones.

Featherwax.

Featherwax.

Attention, please.

Florida Mail

leaving through Gate 9, 11:57.

Newark, Trenton, North Philadelphia,

Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington...

You'd think one of them would offer a

lady a ticket. Well, I couldn't accept it.

Why not? Rich millionaires?

I have a feeling that

everything's going to be all right.

Aye!

Did it come yet?

No, but it's all right.

What do you mean, it's all

right? It's far from all right.

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