The Palm Beach Story Page #9

play it around the house.

Would you be around the house much?

Not any more than you wanted me.

I have an office, not that I do much in

it. Perhaps Mac could come and help me.

That would be wonderful!

You two could plan

the airport together.

What airport is that? The most

remarkable invention you've ever heard of.

A suspended airport right in the middle of

the city, stretched like a tennis racket.

Would it be strong enough?

A tennis racket?

What's Gerry's husband like?

Who? Oh, just a flop.

A big flop?

Yes, any way you take it.

Well, he won't be such a flop

with his $99,000.

Snoodles will give it to him all right.

And why not?

I oughta marry him and

get it back into the family.

That would be a big joke. Of

course, I'm crazy. I'll marry anyone.

- What's this about $99,000?

- I might be able to help him.

In fact, I will be able to help him.

I'll help him. Why not? Will you really?

Of course I will, up to a certain point.

How much would a working model cost?

Ninety-nine thou... I mean,

$100,000... in that neighborhood.

That shouldn't be a very difficult neighborhood

to find. I think I'll be able to do it all right.

Oh, really?

You've made me so happy.

You don't know

how much trouble he's had.

Is that so? Well, he won't know what trouble

really is till he tangles up with Maude.

Oh, that's rather unkind.

I shouldn't have said it.

You say about a hundred thousand?

Exactly a hundred thousand.

It's built.

Oh!

You mean her husband wants $99,000

before he'll give her a divorce?

Oh, I love you like this, with

lightning flashing out of your eyes.

Did she tell you that story? Why should

we talk about that heel when you're here?

Did she tell you that?

Do that again. I love it.

- Now, listen.

- Oh, Snoodles, that's wonderful!

Tom... Mac will be wild with excitement.

You know, when you've waited so long.

Not at all. Not at all. I'm

delighted to have the opportunity.

Look... Darling, I have

the most wonderful news.

Snoodles is going to build

your airport for you.

I'll build it.

You don't even know what it is.

Quiet, Toto.

Well, that gives us a lot

to look forward to, doesn't it?

I don't know as I've told you, Mac, but your sister

and I have progressed considerably since this afternoon.

Oh, is that so?

What's all this business...

about your husband wanting

$99,000 before he sets you free?

Oh, that was just an idea that he had.

You know how people are when they're upset.

I'm not sure that he actually meant it.

Let's not even talk about it.

No, no, let's face it. Gerry naturally

wants to defend this human bacterium.

That's only natural and gallant.

But he's asked her for it, and as soon

as my name comes into it, we're doomed.

- Broiled.

- As a Hackensacker, I find it cheaper to pay than to fight.

Of course, $99,000 isn't

a small sum, but it isn't large.

I should say not. Why, when I think

of Stefan, to say nothing of Serge.

Or that big one with the scar...

What was his name?

- Itsk.

- Baron Itsk! Lucius.

Itsk?

Nitz, Toto.

I'm awfully sorry

to hear that about Tom.

I knew he was a failure and a dreamer,

I guess, but I didn't know he was a skunk.

It's very kind of you to want to build

the airport... I mean, the model of it.

I guess I was a little too stunned

to say thank you,

but you know how it is when you've been

waiting for something for a long time.

There's only one trouble with the whole setup,

something that Gerry neglected to tell you.

That is that I'm not alone

in this invention.

That human bacterium

we were talking about, her husband,

has had exactly as much

to do with it as I have.

So, you see, if you help me,

you'd be helping him too.

I know nothing could be further from your

wish. How about dancing with your brother?

Shut up, Toto.

My brother is thinking.

What did you have to do

that for, you fathead?

Don't you ever get tired

of being noble?

Everything I build up for you,

you knock down.

I've got you the money twice

already. Look, darling...

No, no. I don't want to listen to anything

that begins with "look, darling,"

so that you can get off

another noble saying.

Can't you ever learn to be practical?

Don't you know that the greatest men

in the worid have told lies...

and let things be misunderstood

if it was useful to them?

Didn't you ever hear

of a campaign promise?

The way you are

is the way you have to be, honey.

That's the way I am.

If I'm supposed to be a flop...

You're not going to be a flop. Nobody who's been

married to me for five years is going to be a flop.

You're going to get your airport

if I have to build it for you myself.

After I'm married.

After you're married. That's

a funny thing to hear your wife say.

I've got it. I'll build it, and his share will be

more than $99,000, so he'll have to release you.

Whose share?

That scoundrel she's married to.

It's the first bright thought

he's ever had. That's marvelous!

It was really very simple.

Now shall we change partners?

It seems a shame to waste

such a beautiful sister upon a brother.

You said it.

Ah, thank you so much.

It was delightful.

Not at all.

Oh, dear!

What's the matter? We must've

forgotten Toto someplace.

Is that so? I suppose he'll

show up though. He always does.

Greetings!

Ah, yes.

Wouldn't he be awful to be married to?

Always hanging around.

Captain, you have renewed

my faith in mankind.

Well, there's nothing

like saving your faith.

You are too, too divine!

You're a very embarrassing lady. If I

weren't a little bit mixed up at the moment,

I'd take you up on a few of your

dares and make you say "papa. "

Papa? How would you like

to go to Fort Myers tomorrow?

There's nothing there,

but the ride might be nice.

We might put Toto in the army!

I may not be here tomorrow.

What do you mean, you may not be here

tomorrow? I have an appointment in New York.

Oh, let her wait, whoever she is. She's no good

for you anyway, while I, on the other hand...

You never think of anything

but topic "A," do you?

Is there anything else?

I'll leave you with that thought,

Captain. Bonsoir, drip-drap.

Oh, dear. You're very kind.

I think this is the happiest night

of my life.

Oh, really, Snoodles?

Yes.

You've freed me of a certain timidity

from which I've always suffered,

and now with you and Mac

and the airport,

I can see great days ahead, full of fun and

everything. Oh, I'm sure of it, Snoodles.

By the way, I have a little surprise for

you in a few minutes, so don't be surprised.

What is it? If I told you what it is,

then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore.

Well, I wouldn't do anything

too surprising if I were you, Snoodles.

You never can tell how those

things are going to turn out.

I'm persuaded you'll be delighted.

Well, I certainly hope I will be.

If you'll just leave your window

open onto the balcony. What?

What was that?

Oh, I didn't hear anything. Good night,

Snoodles. I'll see you in a little while.

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