The Palm Beach Story Page #8

place, you don't marry somebody you just met. I don't.

But that's the only way, dear. If you get to

know too much about them, you'd never marry them.

I'd marry Captain McGlue tomorrow, even

with that name. And divorce him next month.

Nothing is permanent in this worid

except Roosevelt, dear.

As a matter of fact, Maude, I'm becoming

very attracted to this young woman,

more so than anyone I've known

the same length of time. Aha!

But I want to know how she is

early in the morning, late at night,

under trying circumstances, as when the

servants leave, how she is with children...

What are you gonna do? Rent some?

Perhaps we could borrow some.

You mean a mock marriage?

I certainly do not.

I revere marriage, unlike some people

I could mention. Oh, here.

But why Captain McGlue?

Of all the idiotic names!

Because I want him to build

your airport for you, darling.

He seems to have something against my

husband. I don't know why. But as my brother...

Apart from the fact that I wouldn't

let him build a chicken coop for me,

I'd still like to know why

I'm to be called Captain McGlue!

Wasn't that your mother's name?

What? Captain McGlue?

Really, Geraldine! Her name

was McGrew. M- C-G-R-E-W.

Oh, well, I'm sorry, darling.

I remembered it as McGlue.

Yes, well, I guess I'm stuck

with it now. Captain McGlue!

What am I supposed to be

captain of? A garbage scow?

I just put that in

to make it more dignified.

Couldn't you have been a

captain in the last war? Sure.

I was 11 years old at the finish.

A captain in knee britches.

What about the Boy Scouts? I could go around

building bonfires on the drawing room carpet.

I'm sorry, darling.

I really meant it for the best.

I know you did. That's what's so irritating

about it. Where'd you get the brother idea?

Because you had

your arms around me.

Oh, I suppose no one's ever had his arms around

you except your brother, only you haven't got one.

I don't suppose Captain Hackensacker ever

put his arms around you. Of course not.

Yachts must have changed since the last time I

was on one. That's what they build yachts for.

Naturally he will put his arms

around me when and if we're engaged.

Oh, we're engaged now, are we? Well, is

there anything wrong with being engaged?

You oughta know.

Where'd you get that suit?

That's what I was telling you about.

What's that you've got on your wrist?

Just what you think it is, dear.

What kind of stones are those?

Exactly what they look like.

Do you know what it feels like

to be strangled with bare hands?

Oh, now wait a minute, darling. I've always

been on the level with you, and I always will be.

Here.

What's that supposed to be?

You put that

over on the mantlepiece.

Lovebirds, huh?

Now, so long as that's there,

you won't have the slightest,

smallest thing to be unhappy about.

That'll be a signal, and we'll

never have to mention the subject.

And that goes for you too.

Huh?

And your friend the princess you seem to

be cutting such a groove with. Princess.

Say, where'd you get the money

to fly down here anyway?

Same place you got yours,

only I didn't have to kiss him good-bye.

Oh, the Wienie King!

He wanted us to get back together, I

guess. Don't you think we owe it to him?

Look, why don't you let me go out there

and poke that guy in the nose just once!

Because I've left you, darling,

for both our good... Now just...

Excuse me. Mac, did you happen to... You don't mind if

I call you Mac, do you? Did you happen to bring a tuxedo?

The business I came here to tend to didn't

call for one. And you can stop pulling my coat.

In a pinch, you can wear one of

mine. In a pinch! That's very funny.

I won't be here that long.

Why, Mac!

That's too bad, old man. I'd hoped

you'd spend the season with us.

There's something I want to talk to you about

before you go. I'm glad you showed up when you did.

So am I. Good. I needed a

male member of Gerry's family.

You have him. Fine. Now

I have a certain thought.

I have a certain thought also,

and it's that bracelet. Mac!

I'm very glad you brought that up.

Mac is delighted with it, Snoodles.

He shouldn't be.

He isn't.

The first bracelet my sister got, I punched the

fellow in the nose. Fellow by the name of Wallace.

I can see we understand

each other perfectly.

I didn't like it any more than you

do this. You're reading my mind.

Splendid, but there's a difference between

Wallace and me. I'm not interested in Wallace.

There's no reason why you should be.

Now I, on the other hand...

Look, if I could trust you two boys not to slug each

other, I'd like to make an exit right about here.

I feel like a bone

between two dogs.

We're going to get along

together all right.

There's nothing the matter with my

intentions, and Mac will be the first to admit.

The only thing that could embarrass you would

be the lovely things I want to say about you...

your face, your form, things

that a brother is naturally blind to.

Is that so? Geraldine's future

and this little plan I have...

What's buzzin', cousins?

What's the dirt?

Never mind, Maude. It's just a little

something I want to discuss with Mac.

My dear, when you hear what it

is, you will simply expire. Maude!

It's too, too excruciating!

Maude, please!

He wants a miniature marriage

with you.

Go away, Toto.

This is not for children.

You know everything up to the dissolve, and then

"Good night, sweetheart. I'll see you in the morning. "

- What's this?

- The boy wants to bundle.!

Maude! And then he's gonna make you

cook and sew and wash the windows,

and then he's gonna get some little brats

to see if you know how to change them.

But how?

He's going to rent them!

Oh!

Come on. Let's go someplace. They want

to be alone. But just a minute. L...

Don't take it so seriously. They want to

bake a cake, dear. They want to bake a...

I don't know what to say.

I didn't realize it was so humorous.

Did you really want to put me

through all that?

There's no use trying to conceal it now.

I might have guessed it on the train.

I certainly should have known it

in Jacksonville and on the yacht.

The trial was as much for you as for me,

and however ridiculous I may seem,

there's nothing ridiculous

about the way I feel in my heart.

I'm madly in love with you.

Ohh.

Oh, isn't that pretty?

Why do you keep bothering them?

If you want to bother

somebody, bother me.

You know, I'm not sure

that Mac likes me.

Oh, no, no, no.

He's always like that.

It's just that he doesn't seem to

think anybody's good enough for me.

Well, he's right there.

You don't care much for me, do you?

Why, certainly.

Why do you let me flop around?

I'm sorry.

You will care for me though.

I grow on people. Like moss.

Sit down, Toto.

Stop following me around.

Nitz.

Yitz, Toto.

Isn't it romantic

La-da-da-da-da-dee-dee

Oh, you have a nice little voice.

Thank you.

I used to sing in college.

With a mandolin? I wouldn't

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