The Paper

Yo, man, we're out of here.

See you later.

See you later.

You look good tonight,

you know what I'm saying?

- That music is dead.

- Are those guys asleep or something?

- Elevator music will knock you out.

- Yeah.

I wouldn't be caught sleeping here.

Not this time of night.

Not around here.

Think we should wake them up?

Sh*t! Oh, sh*t!

What the f*** is going on?

Don't touch it!

- No, wait! Stop!

- Come on, man!

All the news, all the time.

This is WINS.

You give us 22 minutes,

we'll give you the world.

It's already 83 degrees

in Central Park...

working its way up

to a downtown high of 95.

At the top of the news this morning,

racial tensions flare again...

this time in Williamsburg, where two

white, out-of-town businessmen...

were gunned down

outside a restaurant...

a racial slur

spray painted on their car.

An apparent retaliation

for the murder of a black youth...

last week in Greenpoint.

Police are said to be searching

for two suspects.

Keep your radio tuned to 1010 WINS

for updates.

1010 WINS, all news.

News whenever you need it.

Because your whole world

can change in 24 hours.

WINS news time, 7:00.

Nice pyjamas, Henry.

- Mad at me?

- Why should I be mad?

A guy gets home from work at 4:00 a.m.

Why would that make anyone mad?

On a scale of one to ten.

4:
00 a.m. In the morning!

That's about a seven.

TheJapanese auto makers insist

there's no way out...

Why don't you just pour

battery acid down your throat?

No caffeine.

The Daily News kind of

kicked your butt today.

"Welcome to New York.

You're Dead."

They got that?

How did they get that?

It happened in Brooklyn at midnight.

I can't believe this.

Did Newsday... I don't know...

Did they... Did Newsday...

Don't show me. They got it.

I don't want to see the Post.

What do you guys have today?

Oh, "No Parking, Except For Me."

Really, Henry. McDougal's gotta go after

the parking commissioner again?

Good shot, though, isn't it?

That's great art.

Look at that. Sandusky double-parked

in front of his office.

Hon, look.

You're missing it.

Commissioner of the whole city,

double-parked, no ticket.

- This doesn't enrage you?

- Sweetie, it's horse sh*t.

I know it's horse sh*t.

I tried to get the damn Brooklyn thing.

Wilder won't answer his beeper.

He's up there jerking off.

You okay?

You never really appreciate

bladder control until it's gone.

Oh, boy.

I'm sorry, honey.

Look at that Sentinel headline.

See, this kind of stuff

is just shameless.

"Nepal Premier Won't Resign."

That is...

They're just trying

to sell newspapers.

That's sensationalism,

and I won't be a party to it.

I miss everybody.

Say hi to everybody for me.

Everybody except Alicia.

Who else do I hate?

You're not gonna go nuts

again today, are you?

That was a one-time thing.

I've got a million projects.

I never even get to finish a book

when I'm reporting.

Or the baby's room.

I really want to get to that dresser.

I gotta go.

If you weren't making a sacrifice too,

that would be different.

- That would be a lot different.

- I know. Gonna call me later?

Wear a tie for the interview.

And promise me you won't

torpedo it on purpose, okay?

Why would I torpedo it?

Henry, you know those days

that can change your whole life?

This is one of them for us.

For good or bad,

it can happen either way today.

So don't blow it.

I'm not.

I gotta go to work.

You're not taking my car!

You parking fascist! Tell Sandusky

we're not gonna take it any more!

Goddam parking cop!

- I got... Can we...

- Good morning, Phil.

What have you got for me, Henry?

Donald Trump jumped off a building,

landed right on Madonna.

And then they all went to Elaine's.

- This guy's sticking with that story?

- Yeah. He's a real yo-yo.

Hey, Lou, how you doing?

How am I doing?

You wanna see the bruise on my leg?

You'll be fine.

What's the plural of "ultimatum"?

I don't know what happened last night.

Don't complain. They called

the air-conditioning guy.

Alicia wants to see you

before the staff meeting.

- She's the managing editor, Henry.

- "Ultimatums" or "ultimata"?

- Both.

- She's not going away.

Smart guys say "ultimata."

We're gonna go with "ultimatums."

You say ultimata

I say ultimatum

What's the matter with Phil?

It looks like

he sat on something sharp.

You told him he could have

Richard's old desk, right?

- Right.

- And now you promised it to Carmen.

- Are you completely psychotic?

- I have episodes. Nothing serious.

Phil is still pissed you wouldn't

approve his $600 orthopaedic chair.

And now with this desk thing,

he's convinced it's a conspiracy...

to prevent him from sitting down.

- Hackett. Hello.

- Henry, it's Alicia.

I want to see you in my office

before the 11:
00.

- We have to talk about the bullshit.

- Alicia, is that you?

Because I'm having

a hard time hearing you.

Are you in the tunnel or something?

- There's a lot of static. I can't...

- Hello?

I'm losing you.

Are you in the tunnel?

I can't hear. Can you...

We can't hear you.

We'll see you when you get in, okay?

All right.

All right.

I love car phones.

- What, are the presses running?

- Yeah. Sunday travel section.

Here, sign these.

Tell me what you want to do about Phil.

- Who's that?

- It's McDougal.

- What the hell's he doing?

- Sleeping.

He says he can't go home.

Somebody wants to kill him.

- Who's trying to kill you now?

- Sandusky.

The parking guy?

Over a couple of lousy columns?

My columns aren't lousy.

Give it up, would you?

Get it out of your system.

So they towed your car

and scratched it a bit.

Six thousand dollars. Six thousand

dollars damage to a vintage automobile.

- You're ranting now, babe.

- I bust my ass...

to find something fresh, and when I

get it, I bang it like a cheap drum.

People love this sh*t.

You should read my mail.

Turn that scanner down, will you?

How the hell are you

supposed to sleep around here?

Jeez. What are these?

Subway wreck, West 4th Street this

morning. Did you find the one with the...

- Is that an arm?

- Yeah, you found it.

Don't put these on my desk

in the morning, okay?

- Not until I've had three cokes.

- Good morning.

Three Cokes, then a picture.

That's the rule. What?

You know what's going on in Fort Green?

Two dozen cops hassling anybody...

with a black face and a record

on this Williamsburg murder thing.

If there's gonna be a riot,

which I think there is...

then we should have somebody there.

Unless you want to get stomped

two days in a row on the same story.

"Get stomped." That's funny. Doesn't

anybody say "good morning" any more?

- I don't think so.

- Williamsburg, huh?

That's Wilder's territory, isn't it?

You trying to bigfoot him?

Wilder? Oh, yeah, he really aced it

last night, huh?

Come on, Henry.

I know this neighbourhood. I go...

Forget the desk.

She can have the desk.

But give me the chair,

for Christ's sakes!

Phil, I was talking to somebody.

- I can hardly stand up straight.

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