The Perfect Game Page #5

What's that?

It's a telegram.

What's a telegram?

It's a special

written message

and it's delivered to your

door, no matter where you are.

What does

it say Mr. Faz?

Well, look at this.

It's a special invitation.

We're gonna to get a tour of the

Louisville Slugger Bat Factory!

Our largest bat ever,

was made just for,

Mr. Babe Ruth.

It all started...

our founder turned

a bat in his carpentry shop,

and the rest,

is history.

I have a very

special surprise.

We have two Major League

players here to sign their bats!

Would you boys

like to meet them?

Yes!

Great! They're with the

Saint Louis Cardinals!

Maybe you

coached them.

Hey, guys.

It's the Mexican.

Hey! Bring us some towels.

And while you are at it, my

jock strap needs a washing.

Take these boys

to the gym.

But the tour's not

over yet.

No, the tour's over.

Let's go.

Last stop.

That's Faz

with a Z, right?

That's a Mexican name.

As in coach Faz

of that Mexican team.

Spike, get on that radio.

I think it's time

to play ball.

Hey, Madge.

Father, tell us a story.

A story?

Yes. A good one!

A story!

And a good one huh?

Okay, well which good

one do you want to hear?

The miracle of Guadalupe.

Ah, that's

a very good story.

Well, shortly after

Montezuma's empire fell,

a young Aztec peasant name Juan Diego

was baptized

in Lake Texcoco.

and one day, Juan Diego

was crossing a hill

and the Dark Virgin,

appeared to him

and said, "I am truly

your Merciful Mother. "

Ah, I've heard

that story before, Father.

It was the peasant

who became a saint!

I've heard that

fairy tale many times.

Let me tell you something

boys, it's, it's all a lie.

No, you're

the lie.

Angel. Cesar

is your coach.

Coach, Father? Coach?

I never asked to be their coach.

That's enough Cesar.

Let's go take a walk,

get some

fresh air, okay?

I never asked to be

these kid's coach!

It's okay, boys.

Why you mock Juan

Diego? In front of the boys!

I guess I just

don't believe

the meek win because

they're pious, Father.

What really happened

in Saint Louis?

I was the

clubhouse attendant.

For years

I bit my tongue

picking up their soiled

towels, jock straps.

Having to sleep on the bus

because they wouldn't let me

sleep in the same

hotel as them.

And I even took it

when they called me

the Mexican.

Okay. Story checks out.

But what about your friend

and the boys in there?

They're with me.

I'm asking about their paperwork.

It's expired.

Then they's

going home.

These boys, uh,

boys are playing in the Southern

Regionals in the next two days.

Isn't that

right, Father?

Yes. Two days.

Without their visas Hope they're

fixing to play it in Mexico.

We'll be back. 'Till then,

they under house arrest!

Don't try

and hide them.

Hide a Mexican baseball

team in Kentucky!

Thank you!

First thing

in the morning,

I'll call the embassy in Mexico City.

They're not going

to care Father.

Well you have

to have a little faith.

Maybe it's better

this way, then,

we just go

home undefeated.

What makes you think

they are going to lose?

All dreams

come to an end.

Yeah yeah. Go say goodnight to the boys.

All right? And try not

to throw up.

Give me five minutes to

say goodbye to the Mexicans.

You're gonna be Biloxi's most

valuable player.

The stick!

Captain Slater come in.

Hey, Madge.

Let the Mexicans go.

What? Hold...

I just got a wire.

Hey, Captain

Slater, got to let them go.

Are you kidding me? I'm the

police chief of this here county,

who is gonna

tell me what to do?

Secretary of State,

Washington DC.

Visas extended for 9 players

and only one coach,

this is ridiculous.

I have a flock to tend to

back in Monterrey,

I can do more good

for the team back there.

What am I gonna do?

You're their coach.

Coach them!

I must say my

goodbyes to them.

Don't, uh, don't tell them

about me and Saint Louis.

I won't tell them.

Thanks.

Because you will.

Boys, come, gather round.

Whoa, hold it boy.

You got a tell.

Tell who what?

A tell, you're giving

your pitches away.

Fastball!

Hey, hey, what don't

you mind your own business, huh?

Last thing I need

is my boys

taking baseball advice from

some old grounds-keeper.

All right, throw the

ball like I told you!

Curveball.

We're about to kick off the

Southern Regional here in Louisville.

Play ball!

Monterrey! Where's

your lead off hitter?

Hey, what the

blazes is going on here ump?

Monterrey Coach,

come here.

You know I don't know how

y'all start a game down there in Mexico,

never been there, never

wanted to go,

but I'll tell you what, we

just got us two words here,

'play' and 'ball' and

he's already said them.

I don't suppose,

you have a priest?

Why, somebody dying?

They won't play

without their blessing.

Hell, ain't

that something?

Your fixing to forfeit.

Look, um, why don't you just

go talk some reason into them.

Reason with these guys?

See what

you can do.

No foolin', boys,

you want to lose and go home,

I'm not going

to argue with you.

You lost our priest,

you fix it.

They won't budge.

Well, there you have it,

rule 12 paragraph

nine, forfeit.

I got a

nephew that's a minister,

does that count?

Doesn't look to me like you got a

kid on this team, grounds-keeper.

Now this

is a steaming pile, ump.

Now this is baseball,

this is America's game,

not some church service.

Coach,

what's your name?

Hicks, Sam Hicks.

'Today in Louisville,

'Coach Sam Hicks

'declares baseball

bigger than God.

I did not say that, you know

dad-gam well I didn't say that,

but rule 12, paragraph 9, must

field at least 8 players or forfeit!

Now I demand

that you...

You ain't demanding

nothing on my field!

Now you take

a time out!

Now.

I'm demanding.

Go get that

nephew of yours.

Let's try and have

ourselves a ball game.

Hey, so what happened to the

priest you were traveling with?

I told him not to drink the water here.

Any particular blessing?

'You're loving kindness,

is great

above the heavens,

with God, we will

gain the victory

and he will trample

down our enemies. '

Come on. Come on.

Coach, were your boys really

going to forfeit this game?

Oh, yeah.

Whoo whee! Now that's what

I call a dedicated flock.

Strike three!

Fastball!

Thank you.

Okay.

Biloxi, go, Biloxi!

We would have

won this game

if it wouldn't have been

for that nosy colored guy.

He wasn't the one who

scored 13 runs against us.

Pedro,

my son.

Angel.

What have I done?

Ugh!

You have given

your hearts and your prayers

and now I must ask

you to give even more

so that our boys

can continue.

Whatever you can spare will

make a difference. Thank you.

With runners on first and

second, who takes the cut off to home?

Good to see you again, Cesar.

Good to see

you, Clarence

I'd like for you to meet

my wife, Mrs. Rose Bell.

Pleasure, Misses

Rose Bell.

Likewise. Why don't you

have them bring me their uniforms

and I'll take them

home and wash them.

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