The Pickwick Papers Page #8

No, I am not, sir. How dare you.

Ah, I see through you, sir.

And I do, too, sir.

I saw through you from the start, sir.

But you shall answer for it, sir.

You shall indeed, sir.

Answer for what, sir?

Never mind, sir.

The rogue. Captain Fitz-Marshall, we have

wronged you.

Oh.

Gentlemen, a secret of some delicacy in which this

Lady is concerned is the cause of the difficulty

between us. But I assure you, sir, that it has no

relation

to yourself and is not in any way connected with your

affairs. I need hardy point out to you that should you

Continue to dispute It, you cast doubts on my veracity

which I can only find extremely insulting, sir.

Your gloves.

Oh!

Oh!

Name the hour and place, sir!

Name the weapon, sir!

Mr. Stareleigh, as magistrate of this borough, I

forbid you to duel with a person who already faces

charges of house breaking, perjury, damage to

property

and improper conduct in the presence of young

Ladies!

Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Like alive, Ladies! Ste to it, gents!

The head's afire!

Take the Ladies!

Get out of there!

You set the fire!

Yes, sir. What you might call a compounded plot.

Stop! I will not fly the field Like a cur. Honor must

be satisfied!

Your trouble is, sir, you're never satisfied. We're

off to London while we're still in one piece, sir.

What about our baggage, our belongings?

We ain't going back for them, sir.

Why not?

Mr. Jingle stole them before he Left.

- Music-

Oh, please go away, Mr. Winkle. Mr. Nupkins has

threatened to shoot you if he finds you talking to me.

Let him shoot me. Death, where is thy sting if you do

not reciprocate my undying devotion, Miss Arabella.

Oh, dear. Mr. Nupkins would never agree to it, Mr.

Winkle. Please go away before he shoots you. For

my sake.

For your sake, anything. If only you will answer the

one question which torments me.

I do reciprocate your affection, sir.

Ah.

Now, go. Please go.

Arabella, where are you?

Oh.

- Music-

Master Winkle, Look out!

Arabella.

Good morning, gentlemen, good morning.

Good morning, Sam.

Good morning, Sam.

Good morning.

Mr. Pickwick is waiting for you.

- Music-

Welcome back to London, Mr. Pickwick.

Yes, welcome.

Welcome.

Oh, gentlemen, I'm glad you're so punctual. I've only

just returned to London myself, and I have a great

deal to tell you about our friend Mr. Jingle.

Ha!

Any sign of Mrs. Bardell yet, Sam?

None, sir. A gentleman Left this downstairs, sir.

Extraordinary. Oh, perhaps she's out shopping.

What is this? A Legal document? Bardell against

Pickwick. Bardell against Pickwick? But I don't know

anyone called Bar -

Having been instructed by Mrs. Martha Bardell to

commence action against you for a breach of

promise of

marriage for which the plaintiff Lays her damage at

1,500 pounds.

We beg to inform you that a writ has been issued

against you in this suit in the court of common pleas

and

request to know by return of post the name of your

attorney in London.

We are, sir, your obedient servants, Dodson and

Fogg.

Dodson and Fogg?

Bardell against Pickwick?

It's a conspiracy. It's a base conspiracy on the part

of these rascally Lawyers Dodson and Fogg. Mrs.

Bardell

would never do it. She hasn't the heart. She hasn't

the

cause. Who ever heard me address her in any way

but

that in which a gentleman would address his

housekeeper?

Well -

Oh quite.

Of course.

Exactly. It's a vile attempt to extort money from

me?

What are you going to do?

Do? Do, sir? Fight it, of course. I'LL deal with this

Dodson and Fogg.

- Music-

I am to understand, then, gentlemen, that in spite of

my explanation, you are determined to proceed with

this action?

In view of the gravity of our clients accusation.

Mr. Fogg, I am going to speak.

I beg your pardon, Mr. Dodson.

You are correct in that understanding, sir, to which

I may add that both Mr. Fogg and myself advise you

to

settle out of court.

Never, sir.

In that case, I had better serve you with this

writ now, sir.

Very Well, gentlemen. You will hear from my solicitor.

We shall be happy to do so, sir.

Very happy.

And before I go, gentlemen, permit me to say

that all that the disgraceful and rascally proceedings

Stay, sir. Stay. Mr. Jackson, Mr. Wick.

Yes, sir?

I really want you to hear what this gentleman says.

Pray go on, sir. Disgraceful and rascally

proceedings, I think you said.

I did, sir. I repeat it.

Youll hear him repeat it, Mr. Wicks.

Yes, sir.

You hear that, Mr. Jackson?

Every word, sir.

Perhaps you'd Like to call us swindlers, sir. Pray

do so if you feel disposed. Now pray do, sir.

I do. You are swindlers.

Very good. You'd better call us thieves, sir. Perhaps

you'd Like to assault one of us.

Pray do so, if you would. We would make not the

slightest resistance.

You just come away, sir. Battledore and

shuttlecock's

a very good game, provided you ain't the shuttlecock

and

two Lawyers ain't the battledores.

- Music-

Very clever of Dodson and Fogg, the use of that

boy.

Brilliant effect on the jury. I trust you won't Let it make

you unduly nervous.

I have never been more confident, sir. The truth and

justice will prevail.

It would make a nice change.

Here comes Sergeant Buzfuz, the counsel for the

prosecution.

Silence!

Never in the whole course of my professional

experience

have I approached a case with feelings of such deep

emotion

and with such a heavy sense of responsibility

imposed

upon me. A sense of responsibility I would add,

which I could not support, gentlemen, were I not

buoyed

up and sustained by a conviction so strong that it

amounts to a positive certainty that the cause of

my much injured client must prevail with the high

minded

and intelligent gentlemen I now see in this box

before

me. The plaintiff, gentlemen, is a widow. Yes,

gentlemen, a

widow. Some time before her tragic Loss, her husband

stamped his Likeness upon a Little boy.

With this Little boy, the Lonely and desolate widow

shrunk from the world and retired to Lodgings in

GosWell Street. What were the thoughts that came to

this

Lonely and desolate widow? Mr. Bardell had been a

gentleman, a man of honor, a man of his word. Mr.

Bardell

was no deceiver. Mr. Bardell had once been a single

gentleman himself. Where then should she turn for

comfort,

for consolation? To whom should her Lodgings be Let

but to a single gentleman whose conduct and

propriety

would serve as a constant reminder of that paragon,

that saintly personification of the best impulses of our

imperfect nature, gentlemen, the late Mr. Bardell.

The

Lonely and desolate widow dried her tears, clasped

her

innocent boy to her maternal bosom, and put up the

sign in

the parlor window, apartments furnished for a single

gentleman. Did it remain there for Long? No,

gentlemen. A serpent was on the watch. The mine

was Laid.

Before the bill had been in the parlor window for

three

days, gentlemen, a being, erect upon two Legs and

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