The Pill Page #2

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the condom and having a roommate?

I can't be lying about ovulating.

How would i know if i was ovulating?

I thought that you just said

you know your body.

You are making me very...

I mean, maybe i'm about to start my period.

Maybe i'm having my period right now,

because i'm very hormonal this morning.

You've got me very worked up.

Are you sure that you're not ovulating?

I am sure.

Are you pretty sure,

or are you very sure?

I am pretty very sure.

F*** me. You are pregnant.

I am not!

I just -- i can't -- i mean,

why did you wear a condom

with the other guy

and then not with me?

Because i like you,

and i wanted it to feel good for you,

and you had trouble with the condom,

and i didn't want it getting in the way.

i cannot believe that you would have sex

with two guys,

back-to-back like that.

I mean, i should probably get out of here, right?

I'm sure the next guy's coming

in any minute now, right?

Gosh, where is he?

You are such an a**hole.

I just got out

of a long-term relationship,

and i am not in a very good

emotional place,

and i do not appreciate being judged right now.

You're right. I'm sorry.

I've got to...

i just, um...

I am very shaken up right now,

and i apologize for that.

Do you trust me?

I want to trust you.

I really do.

But i need to be given,

you know, a little assurance.

Right?

And i just want you to know

that i had more fun with you

last night

than i have had with

anyone in a very long time.

And i didn't expect that.

PHARMACY:

Hi.

Hi.

How can i help you?

Uh, we need the morning-after pill.

I just need to see a picture i.d. from you.

Thank you.

I'll be right back.

Whoa.

Hold on one second.

Okay.

Here is the pill and... water.

And we are ready for liftoff.

Look, i'm serious.

Really. I mean, look.

It says on the package right here,

"the sooner you take it after intercourse,

the more effective it is."

Wow. You really can't get

this over with quick enough.

What?

You're gonna make me do it

in front of the pharmacist?

No.

Look, i just -- i want to

put this part behind us

so we can, you know...

Happy?

Is it down?

Let me see the tongue.

Let me see the tongue.

Yes! It's down!

I'm happy. I'm very happy.

We just passed our first obstacle.

Yes.

Whoo! That's the spirit.

Good work.

I'm starving.

Why don't we go get something to eat?

Uh, yeah. We'll do some breakfast?

Sure. Or, um...

Oh, sh*t.

Today's not great.

You want to just do...

Let's do breakfast another day.

- Are you serious?

- What?

We haven't even walked

out of the pharmacy,

and you're already blowing me off?

No. I'm not blowing you off.

I just, you know...

It's just i've got a bunch of stuff to do today.

A bunch of stuff to do?

Well, it's, you know, stuff

that i told you about that i had to do.

Hey, look.

I mean, we're gonna hang out,

of course.

It's just, you know -- it's not a great time

today right now.

Let's do it later in the week.

What?

You never even asked for my number.

Oh, sh*t.

- Can i... can i get your number?

- No.

You know what?

Just forget it.

What the f--

Mindy, come on!

Okay.

$45.99.

Geez.

- Lady trouble, huh?

- Yeah.

She should take the first one ASAP

and the second one 12 hours later.

What second one?

Emergency contraceptive is two pills.

She needs to take both doses.

She should eat something with

each dose, or she may vomit.

If she vomits,

we'll have to repeat the dose.

Side effects include nausea,

dizziness, headaches.

Play it safe.

Hey! Mindy!

Mindy, wait up!

Wait up. Wait up.

Wait, wait, wait.

Mindy, listen. Look. I'm so--

i just -- i want to

apologize for my behavior back there.

You acted like an a**hole.

Yeah, i know. I know.

And i want you to know

that i think breakfast is

a wonderful idea.

Yeah, well, i'm not hungry.

Okay. Hey, listen. Look.

Please.

Please.

Don't go back to bed angry with me.

How you doing, buddy?

We are starving.

What can come out really fast?

Eggs.

Eggs. That's wonderful.

We'll have two orders of scrambled eggs

with bacon and toast.

I'll just have coffee.

Uh, no. Two orders.

And two coffees.

I'm fine with just coffee.

Yeah. Just bring it all.

We're gonna work it out.

- Hey, listen.

- What was that?

These are my make-up eggs.

I'm fine with just make-up coffee.

No. No, no, no, no.

Somehow, that doesn't feel substantial enough.

You know, i feel better

buying you a meal.

And i appreciate that,

and i'm not gonna eat it.

Drinking coffee on an empty

stomach is a very bad idea.

Why are you my nutritionist

all of a sudden?

Okay. Look.

After you left,

the pharmacist said

that you shouldn't take the pill

on an empty stomach

because then you might throw up,

and then you have to repeat the dose,

and then he also told me --

So, that's why you came back for me?

What?

No, no, no. No. No.

I came back because i wanted to

apologize for my stupid behavior

and to get to know you better.

You are such a liar.

Okay. All right..

Look, okay?

I promise you i will not

mention the pill again,

if you just take a couple bites.

Come on.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't -- don't make me feed you.

I don't want to play airplane with you.

Come on.

Good. See?

You know, since you got me up so early,

maybe you can do me a favor.

I need help moving some stuff

from my old apartment.

Yeah. That's great.

Totally. Yeah.

- You sure?

- Of course.

Yeah. I'd love to help.

Okay.

Okay.

Fred, this is Jim,

my old roommate.

Jim, this is Fred.

I'm just here to pick up

the rest of my stuff,

so it should only be a few minutes...

i think.

How do you know Mindy?

Uh, we're friends.

Friends.

Yeah. Friends.

Sort of, well,

more maybe acquaintances, but...

When did you guys meet?

Uh, well, we, um...

it was sort of a -- it was a wh--

not so long ago.

Feels like a long time ago, but, uh...

where?

Oh, just, uh...

at a party, so, kind of...

at a party?

What party?

Just, like, a party party.

Was alcohol there?

there was some alcohol involved.

I understand.

Give me one second, okay, buddy?

Who the f*** is that?!

Why is he in my living room,

and he f***ing has his shoes on?!

We are just -- i'm picking up my bags.

I had three drinks.

- why are you being dishonest?!

- I'm not being dishonest!

- I just -- i'm not --

- why?!

I just have to get out of here.

Um, okay.

I don't know where the other bag is.

Do you know where that is?

Arrive:
New York JFK

Wait. Sit down.

- I'm not sitting...

- Sit down!

Sit down and talk to me!

I'm not gonna do -- okay.

Hey, can you go into the bedroom

and get the other suitcase?

I can't deal with him anymore.

What? No, no.

I don't -- i should not --

he's harmless. Trust me.

Great.

Stay.

Please, stay.

Just...

Just -- just chill with a bro for a second, man.

Just kick it with a bro real quick.

I did so much for her.

Well, you know, man,

sometimes relationships...they sizzle

and then they...

and then they fizzle.

i would call her every day at work

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