The Pill Page #4

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Well, let's celebrate.

Let's go have a birthday.

Thank you! Thank you!

Oh, no!

- Be careful.

- Yeah!

Hey, fred, you cut the cake.

Uh, no. No, no, no.

- Oh, please.

- Come on.

Today, you're part of the family.

Someone's feeling very generous.

All right. Here we go.

Oh, shoot.

Oh, don't worry.

Big family means big mess.

Oh, yes.

You should have seen the house she

grew up in -- quel bordel!

- A bordello.

- Oh, no.

No. He means that it was a big mess.

She had, like, six siblings.

There was never a dull moment or a quiet one.

Well, i am an only child,

so this is already a lot for me.

Oh, you poor thing.

Who did you play with?

No, i had friends.

I mean, just no siblings.

Oh, what was the matter with

your parents?

Uh, nothing. Uh, just, uh, you know,

that's the way

it worked out.

Well, hopefully, you won't

make the same mistake

when it's your turn.

so, it must be...

is it sort of strange

to have one child

so much younger than the others?

What do you mean?

Well, i mean, don't you

normally kind of want

them all to be in the same age range

so they can have playmates?

We don't love him less

because he was unplanned.

Renault! Renault! Renault!

There's no point

in hiding the truth.

You guys were just trying for a boy.

If i had been a boy,

Alan wouldn't exist.

Rose, that's not true.

Yes, it is. Dad told me.

Alan, don't listen to your sister.

At least i'm not old.

I'm not old.

I'm engaged.

It gets more and more beautiful

every time i see it.

Dylan, he's the best,

and we are very much in love.

How is Dylan?

He finishes his MBA next year,

and he already has two offers.

Oh, i always liked Dylan.

A real go-getter.

I just feel so fortunate

to have found the one sooner,

you know, versus, like,

five years from now,

when things would have felt more...

you know, more rushed and more pressing.

So, uh, why isn't he here

with you now?

He's at the golf course.

Hmm. Yeah.

I'm just saying that i feel

so fortunate

to have found the one

sooner rather than -- than later.

Oh, this must be my gift for Alan.

- What is it?

- You'll see.

Hey. Hmm.

You all right?

I'm fine.

Hey. Hey. Mindy.

Hey. You okay?

There was just all that

twirling and spinning.

Hey, did you, um...

in the bathroom,

you didn't... did you throw up?

- No.

- No?

I tried, but no.

It's -- it's all in there.

That's good.

That's a good sign.

You're gonna be okay.

Okay.

Rest a little bit right here,

and i'm gonna run out,

do some errands.

You're coming back?

- I'll be back.

- Okay.

Okay. You're gonna be here?

I can't go anywhere.

Okay.

Fred, i'm really glad you

stayed with me today.

Yeah. Me, too.

All right. I'll be back.

In a car from the airport.

Almost home!

Where are u?

Hey. I'm home.

Hey. Where were you?

Shoes. Shoes.

Hey. Oh, sh*t.

Uh, just went to the gym.

Did you get my texts?

Yes, i did.

I did,

but my phone has been acting funny,

and they just all kind

of poured in all at once.

You never go to the gym in the morning.

Yeah, well, you know,

that's why i wanted to, uh,

change up my routine,

shock my muscles

in a different way, you know?

Well, i was bummed you weren't here

when i got back.

I know. I'm sorry.

I just...

i thought i could just,

you know, grab a quickie

before you got back

but i couldn't even remember

what time you were

getting back, so...

i e-mailed you my itinerary.

Oh, damn it. You did. I'm sorry.

I should have just --

i should have checked that.

Well, that's okay.

- I missed you.

- Hey.

- Mmm, lip gloss.

- Oh.

Have you been eating chocolate?

What?

You smell like chocolate.

Oh. Yes. I did.

I had a...

i had a chocolate protein bar at the gym.

You're supposed to work out on an empty stomach.

- You know this.

- I know. I know.

You tell me that every time.

And i don't appreciate being ignored.

What?

I want my calls returned.

Oh, i'm sorry. I know.

My stupid phone.

It's been...

because i have something

important to talk to you about.

O-okay.

I've done a lot of thinking about this,

and i want to bring

another member into our home.

Okay.

Are you ser...?

Fred,

we've been living together for two years.

I think that it's time we took the next step.

Yeah. You're right.

You're totally right.

Two years is a...is a...

is a big, long,

very long time and a big commitment,

but i-i do think, though, you know,

you're talking about the next next step,

and i'm just a little concerned...

i don't see what's the big deal about adopting.

I...

look at her.

She's so cute.

That's...

that is f***ing adorable.

And it's much more economical and humane

than buying from a kennel.

Why didn't you tell me it was a cat?

I didn't know you...

Oh, my god.

I did say it.

Didn't i say it was a cat?

I'm allergic to cats.

Well, yeah, but when you took Claritin,

it was totally fine.

My throat kind of stays pretty tight,

but it's nothing.

I can...

i can deal with it.

Well, i'm glad we agree.

Yes.

- Babe!

- Yeah.

- That's awesome.

- Oh, shoot.

Wait a minute.

We... we can't...

we can't get a pet.

Why not?

Oh, my god. The -- the lease.

You remember, the landlord?

Well, you'll just have to talk to him.

I think it is a legal document

that we signed...

the lease...so...

or we'll move.

- We-- move?

- To New Jersey.

I want to be closer to my parents anyway.

That -- that -- that

would really mess up my commute.

I go to New Jersey every day for work.

Yeah, but, sweetie,

you work just over the river.

I mean, it's practically 13th Ave., right?

I mean, if we didn't have to move,

i think that maybe we could,

ind a pet-friendly building in the city

that's close to the path train,

as opposed to...

why are you being so difficult?

No, i'm not trying to be difficult here.

I mean, we're just... we're talking.

You know, we're communicating.

I really don't... we're gonna

have to look at the lease again,

because the lease, i don't think,

says all pets.

I think it says no

pets above a certain size

and of a certain kind.

Okay. Okay.

Yeah.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah. I'm in...

i want you to want a pet, too.

I want a pet.

I want this pet.

Yeah.

- Oh, babe, i'm so excited.

- Yeah.

- I'm so glad that we agree.

- Yeah.

Oh, you're the best.

You didn't take out the garbage.

What?

It's overflowing.

Oh, yeah.

Well, i'm gonna do it tonight.

We agreed you would take out the

trash, remember?

Hey, did you read my chapters?

Hey, babe?

Can you do me a favor and fix me a drink?

What do you want?

Campari with a little soda.

Got it?

I got it!

Hey, babe?

I'll run to the store.

That's okay. We'll just have it delivered.

No, no. It's cool.

I got to get some groceries anyway,

so it's no big deal.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Absolutely.

Well, don't be too long.

4:
08 PM

Sunday, June 28

Oh, Fred!

Hi. I'm back.

Oh, Mindy went to meet you.

Min-Mindy's not here?

No.

She left to meet you.

Oh, i was supposed to meet her back here.

A little problem?

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