The Pink Panther Page #5

- What?

- Well, l...

- Oh, yeah.

- What do you think, George?

- l think maybe l was wrong.

- Mm-hm.

(whistles)

l'm sorry l have to leave but l must

make a very important phone call.

- Can't it wait?

- l'm afraid not. Good night.

Ooh, that's better.

Just a quick shower, my love,

and l will be right with you.

(shower stops)

(shower starts)

(phone rings)

One moment, please.

Hello? Oh! lnspector Clouseau.

Clouseau? This is the prefect of police.

l have information regarding the Phantom.

- The Phantom?

- You must come at once. l'm in Brunico.

Brunico? But that's in Brunico.

l mean, that's 30 miles from here.

lt is here that l discovered the information.

Come immediately.

l cannot say more, l am being watched.

Yes. l understand. Yes.

l'm sorry. lmportant police business. l will

be back with you as soon as possible.

l understand, my love.

- Darling?

- Yes?

l am a husband that must be

envied by all other husbands.

l'm sure no one ever had

a husband like you.

My darling.

My darling, don't move, don't panic.

All that has happened is that my hat has

caught in one of your naughty hairpins.

Voil.

You know, at times like this

l wish l was but a simple peasant.

lt's times like this that make me

realise how lucky l really am.

He's gone to Brunico.

Another call about the Phantom.

There's something going on. l don't quite

know what, but there's something wrong.

- Do you want to call it off?

- l'm considering it.

- Have you considered something else?

- What?

- That you're growing a conscience.

- A conscience? About what?

- The princess.

- You're being ridiculous.

No. l'm just being a woman. This time

you've chosen a fascinating victim.

You've broken the first rule

and allowed yourself to become involved.

You're being a woman, all right.

That's obvious. Competition

always makes a woman obvious.

(knock at door)

- Who is it?

- Bellboy.

Wait a minute.

- What is it?

- Flowers.

- George!

- Trick or treat.

- Wait a minute.

- l found these growing in the hall.

- You get right out of here.

- What kind of hospitality is that?

- My husband could be back...

- He must be halfway to Brunico by now.

''You must come to Brunico immediately.''

''l have information

regarding the Phantom.''

''And while you're in Brunico waiting

for the prefect of police, l shall be...''

''l shall be investigating your wife.''

Ah. One never knows, huh? Perhaps

the Phantom is hiding under the bed.

George... Oh!

- That's more like it.

- You should be ashamed.

- l'm planning on it.

- Suppose Jacques doesn't go to Brunico?

- You're beautiful.

- Now stop this.

You are the damnedest woman

l've ever met. First you jump in my bed.

Then you push me off a mountain.

Then you seduce me.

Look, George, you're terribly attractive,

and l'm naturally... But not here.

- Where?

- l don't know. But not tonight.

- You just can't make up your mind.

- Well, l am married.

Where's your husband?

Out chasing the Phantom.

- That was your idea.

- But if he was any kind of a man,

- he wouldn't have gone.

- (door rattles)

- (Clouseau) Darling.

- ''Darling''?

lt's locked!

Halfway to Brunico, hm?

(Clouseau) Angel?

- What do l do?

- Answer the door.

- (Clouseau) Simone?

- Yes, dear?

- But, Jacques, l thought...

- That phone call was a ruse.

Oh, dear! Are you hurt, my darling?

- l don't recall that.

- No, it was sent a while ago.

- l thought it was from you.

- No, it certainly was not from me.

There are some very strange things

going on here.

l passed the prefect on the road.

He never made that call.

- No?

- No.

- There was no card with these?

- No.

Why should anybody

want me to go to Brunico?

- Oh!

- Darling.

l'm sorry. l was trying to kiss your foot.

Let me kiss your face.

- lt's all right.

- Darling. l'm sorry. Come here.

That's it. Nice and comfortable

on the bed there.

Listen, why don't we go down to the bar

and have a nightcap?

My darling, listen.

Why don't l have a nice bath?

And afterwards,

we have our lovely warm bed.

Don't worry about this mess.

We can have it cleaned up later.

My dear, would you mind if l bathed first?

But did you not bathe earlier?

Yes, l did. But it would warm me up,

help me to relax.

l'll tell you what we'll do. Like we did

in the old days, l will scrub your back.

You're so romantic.

But l'll only be a moment.

(bath water running)

(water stops)

(splashing)

- Darling?

- Yes?

- Hello, my darling.

- Hello, my darling.

- Why did you draw the curtains?

- Just to keep me warm.

Warm? Warm is one thing,

it must be hell in there.

- lt's wonderful.

- Why don't you let me wash your back?

lt's already done. As l told you before,

l just want to relax.

- We must have no secrets.

- l know, my darling.

(Simone laughs)

- l will brush my teeth, keep you company.

- That's sweet of you.

(phone rings)

- Hello?

- lspettore.

l thought you would like to know.

Princess Dala has just checked out.

Thank you very much.

Oh, darling. (mumbles)

- l beg your pardon?

- l said... (mumbles)

Yes, l did.

Hey, come...

Come out, quick!

(knock at door)

- Who is it?

- Bellboy.

One minute.

- Yes?

- The inspector's violin.

- Madame, the flowers.

- lt's nothing. lt doesn't matter.

lf they found out downstairs,

l'd lose my job. l'll ring for the maid.

(shower running)

Darling? How would you

like to wash my back?

l'd love to, but, you see, l have to...

l mean, l have... l'm cold.

- Oh.

- Yes.

- Get the broom.

- But...

Come on!

Hurry up. Go.

(knock at door)

Shan't be a moment.

l'll just put on my pyjamas.

Darling, l think l've got

something in my right eye.

- Let me...

- l mean the left. No, this one.

Darling, it hurts!

Well, then, stand still for a moment.

l can't see. Stand in the light a moment.

- Where?

- Right here. Here.

- There's nothing in your eye.

- Nothing?

Only your eye. That's all that is there.

What are you doing?

Put it back in. There's no time. He's gonna

come back! Get under the bed. Quick.

Aha. Why aren't you in bed, my darling?

Uh... l was. l mean, l was just go...

Oops. l'm just going, dear.

Ooh! l'm cold.

- My Stradivarius.

- The porter just brought it in.

Ah! l sent it to the village to be repaired.

l just hope they know how to fix plastic.

l hope so, too.

So far so good.

We shall see.

(tuneless scraping)

Better than ever.

You know, l doubt

if we shall need it tonight.

l'm sure we won't, darling.

What is it?

Very strange.

Jacques, why don't you come to bed?

You know, l don't understand this.

You see...

these, uh, footprints...

they were...

they were made by sh-shoes...

and they were not made by... my feet...

Oh! Ow!

The light.

(Clouseau) At last! Darling, my little...

(Simone) Darling? What's the matter?

lt's very strange, my love,

but suddenly l'm freezing cold.

You are freezing cold?

- The window is open.

- The window is open.

Sometimes it's healthy

to have a little fresh air.

Healthy is one thing,

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