The Pink Panther Strikes Again Page #4

Most ingenious.

The old closet ploy.

I really must congratulate you.

If there's one thing I do enjoy...

it's a good closet ploy.

Well, until we meet again

and the case is solved.

The case is solved.

Four minutes.

We're gonna look like a bunch

of Dipsy Doodles if this is a hoax.

Well...

we would look very foolish

if we didn't take every precaution...

and it turned out

not to be a hoax.

Dr. Fassbender and Operation Looking

Glass are certainly no hoax.

God. A weapon like that

in the hands of a crazy Frenchman.

You are certain?

You can do it?

- Theoretically, yes.

- For your daughter's sake, I hope so.

Ah, the dreams I had.

All the terrible things I was going

to do to that sweet child if you failed.

- Look, I've done everything you asked.

- Not yet.

When the U.N. building vanishes...

then you will have done everything

I asked.

What do you suppose

they will call the crater?

The Dreyfus Ditch!

- There should be no crater.

- No crater?

But I want a crater.

I want wreckage, twisted metal.

Something the world

will not forget.

- They will not forget today.

- They won't? Wonderful.

I have to tinkle again.

Don't do anything till I get back.

Too late. The countdown started.

One minute.

Thirty seconds.

Seven, six...

five, four...

three, two, one!

Ignition!

Today...

the U.N. building.

Tomorrow, who knows?

I think by now that the nations

of the world are aware of the...

the awesome power which I control...

a power so great...

if I choose,

I could wipe out an entire city.

After all,

what is the life of a man...

compared to the destruction

of a whole city?

I give you seven days.

Seven days.

Okay.

Well done.

So, now we wait.

All this to get one cop?

But we have some of the finest

hit men here in Europe.

-In this very room.

-Why don't we take care of it ourselves?

- Because you wouldn't stand a chance.

- Come on.

- You don't know Clouseau.

- He can't be that good.

Good? He's not good.

He's terrible.

He's the worst.

There is not any man like him

anywhere in the world.

Compared to Clouseau,

this Doomsday Machine...

is just a water pistol.

That's why it will take

all the great nations...

with all of their

trained assassins...

and all of their

sophisticated murder weapons...

to eliminate Clouseau.

Taxi, please.

This gentleman...

- What are you doing?

- That's my case.

Lucky for you, I am in a hurry.

Otherwise you would have been arrested.

And when it comes to the matter

of eliminating Clouseau...

nobody wants to have anybody else

get the credit for it.

It's a matter of national pride.

I think we all agree, Mr. President,

that we simply cannot afford...

to allow any other country

to get hold of Fassbender's machine.

Crazy or not, anyone who has gone

to the lengths that Dreyfus has...

in order to eliminate one man...

it's reasonable to assume...

that Dreyfus will smile

very kindly...

on the one who eliminates

lnspector Clouseau.

I think that's pretty far-fetched.

Mr. President,

if I told you one week ago...

that the U.N. building

would disappear...

and that a certified lunatic

would blackmail the entire...

You made your point.

What do we do?

Well, Mr. President,

Clouseau is in Munich.

I ordered one of our top people

to Munich yesterday.

- Yesterday?

- Well, just in case.

He's just reported in.

Clouseau has gone to the Oktoberfest.

I wonder if we have enough time

before the others act.

Germany's already acted,

and bungled it.

According to the latest

code transmission...

twelve countries have got

their top assassins in Munich...

and they're all converging

on the Oktoberfest.

My God, it will be

like a shooting gallery.

Try one of my pretzels.

They're good.

What are you doing

to this poor, motherless child?

You great big bully.

There, there, little boy.

Sir.

- I better call the President.

- You know what time it is?

He wants me to call.

Put me in, Coach.

What's the score?

Yes!

It's okay. How many?

Twenty-six, Mr. President.

Holy cow. No wonder Dreyfus

wants that Clouseau killed.

He's a one-man army.

Who's left?

Just the Russian

and the Egyptian.

My key, please.

127, please.

Good evening,

lnspector Clouseau.

I couldn't sleep, and I just happened

to be in the neighborhood.

I hope you don't mind.

You Frenchmen are so romantic.

Thank heaven

For little girls

Swine maid.

Oh, forgive me, darling.

I've just washed my hands.

They must have been freezing.

Freezing? Yes.

Something wrong?

Wrong? Oh, no.

What could be wrong?

Then come back to bed.

Yes, of course.

Into the bed, you know.

And take off

those so-silly pajamas.

You may rest assured you will never

see these so-silly pajamas again.

That I can assure you.

Darling?

Yes, I won't be a moment...

darling.

Hurry, darling.

I'm just going to take a bath.

A bath?

Excuse me.

Yes.

Hello, this is

Chief lnspector Clouseau.

There is a beautiful woman in my bed

and a dead man in my bath.

If you're going to take a bath,

I want to take one with you.

Darling, it's freezing out here.

Let me in.

Madame...

I arrest you for the murder

of the man in this bathtub.

What?

And I must warn you that anything

you say will be taken down...

and used in evidence against me...

you.

Who is he?

I don't know.

He looks familiar.

- He looks like you.

- Looks like me?

Tournier, the bank robber.

What is he doing in your bathtub

dressed up like you?

It is a question

I could very easily ask you.

But he has been shot...

and I do not carry a gun.

Obviously not, no.

I am Olga Berriossiva.

Until one hour ago,

I was a loyal Russian agent...

under direct order

from the presidium to kill you.

To kill me?

I was considered

a perfect liquidator...

because no man had ever been able

to involve me emotionally...

until tonight.

Do you think that you

could fall in love...

with an ex-Russian agent?

Well, of course...

everything is possible, yes.

- But you are not the same.

- Huh?

Oh, well, of course...

dead men in bathtubs

have been known...

to make quite a difference,

you know.

Anyway, this is the man who can

lead me to the lunatic Dreyfus...

who it is my sworn duty

to apprehend.

I, too, had a sworn duty,

but I have forsaken it...

become traitor,

given up everything for you.

With me...

it is the duty that comes first.

Oh, make an exception

just this once.

I wish that I could.

You can. I guarantee it.

No, you see, l...

- Look!

- What?

That tattoo. When I arrested Tournier,

he did not have that tattoo.

- It looks like the Mondschien crest.

- Mondschien?

- Mm-hmm.

- What is that?

An infamous family who ruled Bavaria

in the 15th century.

I read somewhere

that the Mondschien Castle...

had recently been sold.

You read somewhere that...

they had sold the castle?

Fancy them selling the castle,

just like that.

The castle!

Yes. Dreyfus.

He is in the castle.

Farewell. I am off

to Mondschien Castle.

Must be getting a cavity.

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