The Pirates! Band of Misfits Page #6

It's just you, a tiny queen,

against me, a dashing terror

of the high seas.

En garde!

Oh, dear!

Poor defenseless me.

What is a girl to do?

Now, steady on.

Now careful.

Do you know why I really hate pirates?

Childhood trauma, was it?

Bitten by a pirate when you were a baby?

Beard envy?

It's because you're out-of-date.

You're dinosaurs!

All that "romance of the seas" guff!

Right, where were we?

Look at you.

You should be extinct.

Along with your little friend!

Pity you can't eat pirates, really.

But you'd probably taste of barnacles.

Whereas, dear little Polly

here is going to be

absolutely delicious!

Mr. Bobo?

Give me back my dinner!

- Captain, catch!

- Number Two!

Sorry, Vickie.

Dodo is off the menu.

No, no, stop!

Stop!

Stop!

I'm being squashed

by giant barrels of vinegar!

Good work, Chuck.

Number Two, what are you doing here?

How did you find me? Where are the lads?

Don't worry, they're on the case.

It's all thanks to Mr. Bobo here.

He rowed halfway across the ocean

to tell us what you were up to.

And, you know, I figured you

tend to end up wrapped in

sausages facing certain death

at about this point in an adventure.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

Listen, Number Two, I...

I realize I let you down.

Sorry.

I let everybody down.

You know, I've...

Well, I've done some pretty appalling things

in my piratical career.

Like that time I used babies as squid bait.

Or that other time I thought it would be

okay to let a turtle drive the boat.

But the thing is...

I mean, what I'm trying to say is...

You decided to single-handedly take on

Queen Victoria's flagship,

in order to rescue Polly.

Yes, I'm afraid I did.

That's terrifically idiotic.

Yes.

It's also the reason why me and the lads,

well, we still think

you're the best pirate on the seven sea...

Gadzooks!

No!

Polly!

Oh, no, you don't.

Captain?

Kiss your beaky little friend goodbye.

That's it, Polly. Snip-snip.

Come on, little dodo. Bitey-bite.

The dumpy lady's got Polly!

Snip-Snip.

Bite it!

Bite it, you stupid bird!

Bite it!

No!

My dodo!

Polly!

My dinner!

Barnacles.

Well done, sir.

Hey!

Wah-hey, Captain!

Fair play to you, sir.

Wah-hey!

This is our most unexpectedly

heartwarming adventure ever.

You'll swing for this! Curse you!

And after you've done swinging,

I'll chop your head off!

I'll put it in a cannon and

fire it into the sun!

Does that mean he's not pardoned anymore?

"Pardoned"?

You'll be outlawed across the globe!

There'll be a higher price

on your head than any pirate before you!

The whole world will know your name!

Welcome back,

Captain.

- See ya!

- Bye!

Bye-bye!

Well, it's been a pleasure, Charles.

Good luck with the science.

- Thank you, Captain.

- And just a little tip,

grow yourself a beard.

It'll make your face look less lumpy.

Not bad, eh, Mr. Bobo?

That... I...

- Is this a bit of squid tentacle?

- Yeah.

And that's my earwax.

I keep telling you, it's never been about

the trophies or the treasure.

It's about who you are, inside.

I say, you're not...

Not a woman

disguised as a man, are you, Number Two?

No.

Because that does happen

surprisingly often at sea.

Well, come on, you coves.

Those treasure chests

won't plunder themselves.

Hoist the flag!

Ave, aye, Captain!

Set a course for adventure!

You see? I told you.

Didn't I tell you?

Just added on for decoration, my foot.

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