The Pleasure of Being Robbed Page #3

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- Yeah.

This side, right?

Yeah. Yes.

Yes, right.

What have you been up to?

- You know.

- I haven't seen you in a while.

You haven't seen me

in a while.

Well, I don't know.

I've just, um...

[Truck horn blares]

F*** you!

[Laughs]

It's a little tour.

Did you want some bread?

Sure, I'll take bread.

Where did this come from?

l-I just...

Well, I don't know,

it's really good isn't it?

It's from this bakery.

I forgot what it's called.

How are you feeling?

I'm gonna turn the...

- I feel really good.

- You don't need these on.

- I can't see.

- Sorry.

I just wanted to clean

the windshield off.

[Horn honks]

- Sh*t!

- Oh, God.

Hey, do you want to

drive me home?

Drive me home.

I haven't been driven home

in so long.

All right,

let's drive you home.

Let's drive you home.

All right, so I'm going...

I'll take you

right to your door.

You want to make a right

up here.

- A right?

- Yeah.

Over here?

- Yeah, right up here.

- Whoa.

- All right, be careful.

- Is that okay?

Hey, we're gonna

go this way.

Can you tell them?

All right, he's going

that way.

Is it all right now?

- Yeah, make a right.

- Okay.

Not stop but you want to go...

you want... wait.

Is it two ways?

Yes.

Make a left.

So yeah, we're just gonna

keep going straight.

- Keep going straight.

- Yeah.

- Straight.

- Yeah.

It says go... keep right.

Yeah, you're gonna want to

get on here.

Okay.

It's pretty up here.

Yeah, it's really nice.

I'm not so close to here though.

So, straight?

Yeah, go straight.

You want to merge on to here.

What is this?

This is the West Side Highway.

What?

Yeah, it's

the West Side Highway.

Are you sure?

Yeah, you just want to pick up

some speed.

- This way?

- Yeah.

Where do you live, Josh?

I'm living in...

I'm living in Boston now.

You live in Boston?

Yeah.

Should I go a little faster?

A little bit faster.

Everyone's passing you.

I think someone's

giving you the brights.

[Horn honking]

What?

What do you want?

- Am I going too slow?

- I think so.

But whatever,

don't worry about it.

You're allowed

to legally go this slow.

Go back to Jersey,

you f***ing c*nt!

F*** you, a**hole!

She's learning how to drive!

Don't try to catch up to him.

Don't worry about it.

God damn it,

do they usually do that?

A**holes usually do that.

I'm gonna catch up to him.

Yeah, just hit him

as hard as you can.

It's easy, right?

Yeah, it's easy.

Why are there all these

tractor-trailers around here?

- Do I look weird at the wheel?

- No.

Why are those guys

looking at me?

I don't know.

You're pretty?

I'm gonna go

to the bathroom, okay?

All right.

You want to buy The Net?

Yeah, get it.

Pay for it.

Excuse me.

How much is this

race car jacket?

Oh.

[Retches]

[Coughs]

Hi. How you doin'?

Fine.

You don't want

one of those guys.

We all take those when we go

out on our cigarette breaks

so they're half empty.

You want one from the back.

Oh, okay.

Thank you.

How much is it?

- $1.05

- $1.05?

- Yep.

- Okay.

You take cards?

- Yeah.

- All right.

Don't worry, it's stolen.

All right.

That place was amazing.

Yeah, it was.

Let's go, come on.

What's that smell?

What smell?

It smells like cologne.

I have no idea

what you're talking about.

It stinks.

It kind of does smell.

It might be... it might be someone

from outside.

I don't know.

I hope it goes away soon.

Maybe when we start driving.

I smell it now;

it's disgusting.

It's gross, right?

Yeah, it's disgusting.

How am I doing?

Look at you with the one arm.

Pro.

Do you know how, like,

advanced of a move this is?

I'm going the wrong way.

[Contemplative jazz piano music]

Thank you.

Have a nice day.

I'm just right up here

in between these two cars.

Okay.

Just over here?

Yeah, just try pulling...

don't even try to parallel park;

just pull right in.

Okay.

- That's fine.

- Just like that?

- Yeah, that's fine.

- This is where you live?

Yeah.

Bye, Josh.

You gonna go back

to New York now?

You gonna drive back?

Yeah, I think so.

Mm-hmm.

By yourself?

Mm-hmm.

I think that was

your telephone.

- Okay, sorry.

- It's okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

too fast.

- Okay.

- All right.

Is this how you normally

get into your apartment?

Only when I'm lucky enough.

Sorry.

Dirty dishes.

What's that all about?

I'm not really sure myself.

It's clouds,

I don't know.

It's also a weird way for me

not to have to make my bed ever.

It's kind of like

a lowering of some sorts.

A torture chamber

or something.

Yeah, I'm not really sure.

What's that?

A drawing I found

in the bottom of my car once.

No idea who drew it.

Could be a slew of many people.

Whoa, hey,

what are you doing?

What are you doing?

You're captured forever now.

I have you forever.

[Laughs]

[Loud thud]

Ow!

You all right?

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Your trap worked.

Not really.

Look, you're out.

What am I gonna do now?

This is pretty amazing,

this photograph.

I'm not up to that yet.

[Fly buzzing]

[Buzzing continues]

Oh, I can't...

I can't go to sleep

with a fly in the room.

I can't do it.

They know that I hate them,

so they, like, buzz in my ears.

Hey, stop.

Just flying around, going in,

saying hello, going out.

Yeah, I wake up

every 1 5 minutes.

It's terrible.

It's just a fly.

I can't do it.

Do you want me

to take care of it for you?

I can do it too.

Huh?

You think you can get it?

No, not at all.

You can't catch a fly.

I'll get it for you.

I'd like to see you try

to catch the fly.

I'll get him.

Now's your chance;

he's sitting right on the wall.

It's huge.

Is that a horse fly?

I don't know.

It's huge, though.

Whoa.

[Laughing]

What's so funny?

I just can't believe

you actually caught it.

That was amazing.

I got it.

It's humungous.

What was he doing?

He was waiting for me to take

him outside for a little walk.

Where are you taking him?

I'm just taking him outside.

I'm gonna put him

out the kitchen window.

Go on.

Go.

How is he?

I think he's okay.

There's a spot.

Oh, sh*t.

You guys going out?

Is that a spot?

Sh*t.

[Tea kettle whistling]

[Melancholy trumpet music]

Don't touch that.

No, don't do that.

Go get some sand.

Why? Why?

I want to do this.

Because it would be better

with sand; don't do that.

- Why?

- Just don't do it.

Fine.

Get the bucket

and get some sand.

I got the bucket of sand.

Now what do you want me to do?

Go up on the ladder.

Okay.

And then take it down

on the slide.

Put it down...

no, no this ladder over here.

Okay.

Take it down the slide.

Pour it down the slide.

But that's dumb and weird.

No, no, do it.

It'll be cool.

For our movie.

That was... that was weird.

I thought mine...

Twist me.

Twist me more.

Must twist.

Twist me more.

More?

More.

More.

Good.

More, More.

More.

Good.

More, more.

More.

Excuse me, miss?

Excuse me, what are you doing?

I'm looking through your bag.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, that's my purse.

I'm just looking through it.

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