The Polka King Page #8

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My Aunt Judy has her retirement with you.

- She depends on those interest checks.

- Tell God I'm working on it.

[woman] Do you remember someone

named Jan Lewan?

Nope.

[chuckles] Oh, yeah.

Jan Lewan.

Cute little fella.

I've been getting a lot of calls

about him.

Why did you close his case?

I checked on him.

No one had a bad thing to say.

I just got off the phone

with an elderly couple

who invested over $60,000 with him,

and now he won't return their calls.

I even went to his show,

snooped around a little bit. Weird scene.

Everybody loved him.

They said this was the government's fault.

It's always the government's fault.

And they all don't like paying taxes.

They hate regulations,

they all want you to leave them alone,

while they flush their money

down the toilet for some con man.

Happy you are here.

Yeah, my first real tour.

We're gonna keep him out of trouble.

Right, Mickey Pizzazz?

Jan, the band seems kinda low.

Maybe you should say something.

[sighs]

I know recent has been hard times

for band.

Had to let Vince go.

- And Bitsy Bear.

- Thank you.

Yep. And I not give money raise

like I said I would.

Next time your wife's in a beauty pageant,

don't rent five buses.

Now I get it! Bitsy Bear is gone,

so Christopher stir the sh*t for her.

[laughing]

But soon, we be back on tops.

We get new fans and new smiles

and big money raise, too!

Ziggy-zaggy, ziggy-zaggy!

Oi, oi, oi!

[car horn honking]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

[man] Hello?

Am I speaking with Marla Lewan?

- Yes.

- I'm sorry to tell you this,

but there's been an accident.

[Jan] Marla, I so sorry.

[mutters]

- It should be me.

- [Marla sniffles]

[Jan] I wish was me.

Is all because me.

Jan, please don't say that.

It's not your fault.

You weren't even driving. [sniffles]

You had to take him on tour.

- Ma...

- She right. Why I take him?

I put my little boy on life support.

Jan... how's he doing?

If he dies, I die.

- I kill myself.

- Don't say that.

- Is all my fault.

- No.

- Yes, Mickey.

- No.

- Mickey, I do bad things.

- We all do bad things.

I do worse.

I cheated on my wife.

With Barb.

- With Barb?

- I had to end it.

I didn't like the things she was saying

about you.

Barb hates me,

and Barb is right to hate me.

- I am bad man.

- That's not true.

No, Mickey, is true.

I do bad. I need to be punished.

So God is punishing me by hurting David.

But I beg you, God...

[voice quavers]

Do anything you want to me.

Punish me the worst,

but let my little boy live.

[sobbing]

- Sit down.

- No.

Mr. Lewan, remember me?

Ron Edwards.

Marla, Marla! Is miracle!

God listened to me!

He punish me instead!

Finally, I gonna pay for my sins!

Is all be okay!

Mr. Lewan, you are under arrest

for multiple counts of fraud!

[Barb] I knew it!

I knew you were up to something!

- [Marla] What's going on?

- [Mickey] You're a criminal?

God is good. So good is God.

He hear me, Marla!

- He hear my prayer.

- Who is it?

God! What do you mean who is?

God! God!

- I get to pay!

- [Marla] Where are you taking him?

I believed in you! I defended you!

- [Marla] What are you doing?

- I broke up with Barb because of you!

- What?

- I told you, Mickey!

- I told you he was feeding you a lie!

- You were right, Barb! You were right!

It's okay. Listen... Oh! My boy!

Look at my boy's eyes! Look!

- [Marla] David!

- [Jan] I told you!

Those filing cabinets said it all!

[Marla] Ma, what are you talking about?

My life is a lie!

[Barb]

I bet that's just the tip of the iceberg!

[Mickey] You're a bullshit artist

and a liar! You cooked the books!

[Marla] Jan, will you come back here

and just tell me what's going on?

It's okay, Marla! Our boy will live!

I love you, David! Your father love you!

Today, polka king Jan Lewan

began his five-year prison sentence.

In a tearful apology, Lewan pled guilty

to running a Ponzi scheme

that targeted the elderly in 14 states.

Dozens of seniors showed up

at the sentencing

to angrily condemn Lewan in court.

Jan Lewan wiped us out.

[Mickey]

A lot of people like the Mitsubishi.

Me, personally, I'm a Sony guy.

Highest resolution,

S-VHS connector, best-in-class audio.

They all look the same to me.

Which one's the cheapest?

[sighs]

That one.

[gate rattles, slams]

Let's go to Hawaii

Where the palm trees sway

Let's put polka bubbles in the wine

They'll teach us

How to hula the Hawaiian way

We'll teach them

How to polka two-four time

[Jan] People not so nice here.

Lots of people hating me, I think.

Even Mickey sent me hate letter.

But, you know,

I taking every day by the day.

You tell me about you.

I stopped using my cane.

That is best news! You... oh!

[handset clicks]

- [dial tone sounds]

- [phone beeps]

Excuse me? I have problem.

I am very scared of my roommate.

He just came from solitary.

- Walker?

- Yeah.

[guard] Yeah, you stay outta his way.

I think is mistake

that I am in same room with this man.

I never kill nobody or even punch a face.

Whatever you did, it must've been

pretty bad if you ended up in here.

[Jan] So I stuck in room with crazy man.

But what am I do? I put myself here,

place for the bad people.

[Jan screaming]

[Jan] But I thinking of you, Marla.

Of you and David.

How I still want to give you everything.

It keep me alive.

Ugh! Jan...

And in the end, I think is good.

Is good thing,

having throat slit by crazy man.

What? Why, Jan?

Because, now,

everybody here so nice to me.

Everybody say I am badass

with prison cred.

[Marla] Ugh! I can't believe they put you

in the cell with that lunatic.

That is the real crime here.

Whole system is pretty f***ed up.

Well, believe it or not,

my mother sends her love. [snickers]

- What? To me?

- I know.

She's a real piece of work.

The most amazing thing happened

at the supermarket.

[Anita] We heard the good news.

I don't know what you're talking about.

- Jan.

- [Anita] Mm.

[chuckles]

Too bad they didn't finish the job.

Oh!

Ed, do something!

- [Anita] Ooh! You assaulted us!

- [Barb] Nobody forced you!

- [Anita] We'll call the police!

- [Barb] You invested

because you were greedy!

How could some cut-rate polka musician

give you 12%

when the bank only gives you three?

[screaming]

You were greedy! Greedy, greedy, greedy!

You only have yourselves to blame!

There's something very wrong with you!

[screams] I still got my money!

[Anita] Ed, go, go, go!

- What is she... Oh!

- [Ed] Oh, my...

[Ed and Anita yell]

[Ed] Maniac!

Finally, Mama defend me!

That is so good news!

[chuckles]

Yeah, you always said

she'd like you eventually.

So, good keep coming

from this slit throat.

There's something else

that I wanted to talk to you about.

Okay.

[sighs]

It's been hard.

Real hard.

And not just having no money, but...

people think that I knew about you

and your investments.

You don't know anything. I barely know!

[scoffs]

But you did know.

You did.

And maybe then, so I'm just a fool.

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