The Princess and the Frog Page #5

It's okay, baby. I don't explode me.

I ain't no firecracker!

I just got my big butt glowing!

That's right!

The women like a man

with a big back porch!

Lord, you done this up

real good, for sure.

Now where this go to at?

Hang on, Cap.

I'm just going to give a little twist here.

We're getting to know each other now!

(RAY WHOOPS)

(SINGING) Won't you catch a fish?

Catch 1, catch 2

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

We're back in the bayou

'round fishin' time

(BOTH SCREAM)

It's about time I introduce myself.

My name Raymond,

but everybody call me "Ray."

Pardon me, but your accent,

it's funny, no?

I'm a Cajun, brah.

Born and bred in the bayou.

Y'all must be new around here, huh?

Actually, we are from a place

far, far away from this world.

Go to bed! Y'all from Shreveport?

No. No, no, no. We are people.

Prince Charming here

got himself turned into a frog

by a voodoo witch doctor.

Well, there you go.

And we were on our way

to Mama Odie's.

-We think maybe she can...

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Mama Odie? Y'all headed

the wrong directional, chre.

Now what kind of chucklehead

told y'all to go this way?

I found a stick!

Louis.

Ray here says you've been taking us

in the wrong direction.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

I was... Well, listen.

I was confused by the topography

and the geography

and the choreography and...

First rule of the bayou,

never take direction from a gator.

(WHISTLES)

Why, me and my relationals

will help show y'all the way.

(EXCLAIMS)

Hey, Cousin Randy!

You ready for a little bayou zydeco?

Ready when you are, Cousin Ray.

All right, Lulu. Let's get to it, darling.

(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)

Come on, chre!

Just follow the bouncing butt!

(SINGING) We're gonna take you there

We're gonna take you there

We're gonna take you all the way there

Gonna take you there

We're gonna take you there

We're gonna take you all the way

Oh, yeah!

Goin' down the bayou

Goin' down the bayou

Goin' down the bayou

Takin' you all the way

We got the whole family.

There goes Mimi, Cousin Beaudreaux.

Oh, Grandmama! Your light out!

Hmm?

We all gonna pull together

Down here that's how we do

Me for them and them for me

We all be there for you

We gon' take ya

We gon' take ya

We gon' take ya all the way there

We know where you're goin'

and we're goin' with you

Takin' you all the way

Goin' down the bayou

Goin' down the bayou

Goin' down the bayou

Takin' you all...

Yeah, you know!

Come on, y'all!

Keep that line flowin'

and the lights a-glowin'!

Yeah, you're right!

Friends, I know I'm in hock

to y'all pretty deep already,

but seems our little froggy prince

lost his way

and I need your generous assistance

getting him back.

(LAUGHS)

I hear you! Now, what's in it for y'all?

Well, as soon as I dispose

of Big Daddy La Bouff

and I'm running this town,

(LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY)

I'll have the entire city of New Orleans

in the palm of my hand.

And you'll have all the wayward souls

your dark little hearts desire.

(LAUGHING) Y'all love that, don't you?

So, we got ourselves a deal?

(SHRIEKING)

(LAUGHING)

Now we're cooking!

We're going to find ourselves a frog!

Search everywhere!

The bayou, the Quarter.

Bring him to me alive.

I need his heart pumping for now.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

RAY:

I'll take them the rest of the way.

-Nice meeting y'all!

-Bye-bye, Pookie!

(RAY SPEAKING FRENCH)

BEAUDREAUX:

Will do, Cousin Ray!

And don't forget to tell Angela,

Ray-Ray say, "Bonne chance!"

-That's your girl?

-Oh, no, no.

My girl? Ho, ho, ho. That's Evangeline.

Evangeline?

She the most prettiest firefly

ever did glow.

(SQUEALS)

You know, I talk to Evangeline

most every night.

She's kind of shy. Don't say much.

And I know in my heart

someday we are

going to be together. Yeah.

-Aw! That's so sweet.

-NAVEEN:
Yeah, so sweet.

Just do not settle down so quickly,

my friend.

There are plenty of fireflies

in the swamp.

(TIANA GROANS)

What?

(SHOUTS IN PAIN)

Pricker bushes got me!

Gator down! Gator down!

The darkness is closing in! I'm so cold.

RAY:
Will you hold still, you big baby?

(LOUIS SCREAMING)

RAY:

I ain't touched it yet.

(CLATTERING)

Oh! Take a look at them 2 jumpers.

I can taste them frog legs already.

Bet they taste real good

with the sauce piquant, right, Pa?

(SOFTLY) Will you keep quiet?

(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)

(MUMBLING)

Oh! My thoughts exactly, Two Fingers.

It is time to catch us some frogs!

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

(EXCLAIMS)

You know, waitress,

I have finally figured out

what is wrong with you.

Have you now?

You do not know

how to have fun. There.

-Somebody had to say it.

-Thank you,

because I figured out

what your problem is, too.

I'm too wonderful?

(GRUNTS)

No, you're a no-'count, philandering,

lazy bump on a log.

(CHUCKLES)

(COUGHS) Killjoy.

-What did you say?

-Nothing.

-(COUGHS) Stick in the mud.

-Listen here, mister.

This stick in the mud has had to work

2 jobs her whole life

while you've been

sucking on a silver spoon

chasing chambermaids

around your ivory tower!

Actually, it's polished marble.

(NAVEEN SHOUTS)

I got me one, boys!

Y'all get that little one over there!

(GASPS)

(CHUCKLING)

(GROANING)

(PANTING)

(YELPS)

REGGIE:
That's good hunting today,

yes, indeed!

Hunters with guns!

(LOUIS SCREAMING)

Look at them big frog legs.

I want me some corn bread

with this dinner!

Oh, no! A bug got to do

what a bug got to do!

(GROANING)

I think I done chipped my favorite tooth.

(GASPS)

Here I come, Two Fingers! I'll help...

(EXCLAIMING)

Pa! We got one!

Shush now! Get on quiet there!

What happened to yours?

Shut your trap, Darnell!

(LAUGHS) Free!

(SCATTING)

(GASPS)

(SHOUTS)

(THUDS)

Pa, did you hear that suspicious thud?

Yeah. I sure did.

(GASPS)

(SHUSHING)

What are you two gawking at?

(GROANING)

Just missed him!

I will make him pay for his insolence!

Two Fingers!

I need some help over here!

-Now! Go!

-Would you stop that?

(RIFLE COCKING)

Hold still.

No, no, no. No, you idiot, not there!

(LAUGHING)

Watch this.

(EXCLAIMS)

Missed it!

(CHUCKLES)

Get them froggies!

(ALL GROANING)

(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)

(GROANS)

These 2 ain't like

no frogs I ever seen.

They smart.

And we talk, too.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(COUGHING)

You all right there, little bug?

I'm fine. But your breath

done near kill me to death.

-Would you mind?

-I got you covered, brah.

Much obliged, peewee.

Now how about the other side?

(GROANS)

"And we talk, too." I like that.

You are secretly funny.

-Not a stick in the mud? Say it. Say it.

-Well, I wouldn't go...

-All right. You're not exactly...

-I can't hear you. I'm sorry. What?

...a complete stick deep in the mud.

(GROANING)

Easy. Easy!

-This one's in there, ain't it? Hold on.

-Holy...

(GRUNTING)

Chre, I know we gots to get

to Mama Odie lickety-split,

but this particular extractification

is going to take a while.

Yeah.

Poor Louis.

You know what would make me

feel better?

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