The Princess Diaries Page #2

Rewind and freeze. I'm no princess.

I'm still waiting for

normal body parts to arrive.

I refuse to move to,

and rule, a country,

and do you want another reason?

I don't want to be a princess.

Amelia! Amelia!

Amelia! Come back here.

Well, that went well, didn't it?

- Perhaps she needs time.

- Will you help me?

Miss Thermopolis...

I'm head of your security and you want

me to be a chauffeur and babysitter?

For the time being, yes.

The child needs protection.

For 15 years, you couldn't

find a spare minute

to tell me that my father is a royal?

I thought I was doing the right thing.

- The right thing for who, Mom?

- All of us.

If we secretly divorced,

he would be able to find a woman

who'd stay by his side

and produce heirs.

And I'd be free

to live my life with you.

I mean, please, we met in college.

I was young. I wanted to paint.

Can you see me walking one step

behind someone for the rest of my life?

With rules, regulations, waving,

bowing and scraping. I was scared.

Living with a mother who lied to me

for 15 years scares me.

- Where are you going?

- Straighten up the royal bed chamber.

After the divorce,

we all discussed it.

Your father and your grandmother

both agreed to keep their distance,

so you'd have a chance

of a normal childhood.

Free of emotional complications.

We were going to tell you

when you were 18.

But when your father died,

things changed, Mia.

We wanted to protect you.

OK, you know what?

I don't feel protected.

You try living for 15 years

thinking you're one person

and in five minutes you find out

you're a princess.

Just in case I'm not enough

of a freak already, let's add a tiara.

- Drink your soup.

- I'm not really hungry.

Fine. Good night, sweetheart.

Fat Louie... you are so lucky you

don't know who your parents are.

I've never ridden in a limo,

he admitted bitterly to himself

as he crossed to the open window

and looked out at the bay.

The fog looming

like his pathetic life before him.

I can't believe I won an Emmy.

I have this favorite photo of Philippe.

We had so much fun here in college.

He was so full of joie de vivre,

always laughing and smiling.

I remember.

Helen, if Amelia refuses

to accept the throne,

Genovia will cease to exist

as we know it.

So the future of your country

is in the hands of my 15 year old?

Here it is.

Philippe was ready to be king.

Then the terrible accident.

Even though it didn't work out

between us,

- I loved your son very much.

- Thank you.

Well, as always,

this is as good as it's gonna get.

I can't wait until she's 18.

This is a nightmare.

I'm going back to bed.

The three of us have to talk.

OK. ls there something else

about me and my life

that I might want to know about?

Are you two waiting

to take me on a talk show

to let me know I have a twin sister

who's a duchess?

You have a cousin who's a contessa.

Fondly known as Bartholomew.

Actually, we call him Pookie.

Yesterday did not go well.

Will you listen to your grandmother?

Amelia, in a matter of weeks

we have an annual ball.

I was... I am hoping

that I may present you to the press

and the public on that occasion.

However, you desperately need

some instruction.

I speak for the entire Genovian

parliament and the royal family.

And I speak for this family.

Excuse me. I don't have a family

with either one of you,

because you ignored me for 15 years

and you lied to me.

Families don't do stuff like that

to one another, OK?

- Where is she going?

- The tower.

- Mia, you can't run from everything.

- She has a tower?

Please, just come down from there.

Most kids hope for a car for their

16th birthday, not a country.

Just make yourself comfortable.

This is getting us nowhere.

Talk to me.

I can't, I'm late for a meeting

with my guidance counselor.

I'm late for a meeting

with Spain and Portugal.

I have a thought.

Mia promises to attend princess lessons

until your ball.

It's not my ball, it's Genovia's

Annual Independence Day Ball.

I'm sorry.

Mia promises neither

to accept nor reject

your offer to be royal

until this grand ball.

Then she makes her decision.

Now can you both live with that?

It seems I have no option.

If I have to.

But I want not one word of this

until that evening, is that understood?

Duh.

- The press would have a field day.

- Well,

let's not keep Spain

and Portugal waiting.

I'm gonna be 16 this year,

and my mom traded two paintings

to get me a 1966 Mustang.

- You know what a Mustang is, right?

- I raise mustangs.

That is not a sensible car

for a princess.

It's not a sensible car for anyone.

It doesn't run.

I suppose I could donate

something to this vehicle.

- Good morning, Mr. Robutusen.

- Who is this gentleman?

My neighbor,

but you wouldn't want to meet him.

He doesn't have very nice manners.

Good morning.

- There's someone I want you to meet.

- OK.

- You have two limousines?

- One is yours.

- You raise limousines, too?

- No.

- Amelia, this is Joseph.

- Hi, nice to meet you.

The elegant European woman

didn't stay for tea.

Thanks.

But the promise of tomorrow

hung in the air.

Princess?

May I point out that,

no matter how many times you push it,

it will go up and down the same way.

Joseph, can we 86 the flags, please?

No. The flags allow me

to park anywhere.

- We keep the flags.

- Sorry, Joseph.

You can call me Joe.

Joey?

No. Joe.

Did I miss something?

Are we going to a wedding?

No, school.

This is the surprise ride.

This is Joe.

Joe, Lilly. Lilly, Joe.

Hi, it's nice to meet you.

You look like Shaft.

Yes. Excuse me.

- You want a ride?

- Yeah. Totally.

- I got it.

- Of course.

Oh, my word.

Please fasten your seatbelts, ladies.

Is your mother dating an undertaker?

No. This long lost grandmother

showed up and she wants me to use it.

- And?

- I don't know.

I guess she's just trying to be nice

to get me to like her.

Hey, Joe?

Can you park a block away from school?

I don't want to cause a riot

with this hearse.

This is a non-riot hearse.

And if it were a hearse,

there would be silence in the backseat.

Hey there, ho there

How do ya do?

This is Grove Lions saying hi to you.

Go, Lions!

This is a reminder.

Virtual homework may not be submitted

for actual credit.

Tell, me, Mia,

is it true about your speech?

Are you speaking

at the bulimic convention?

So you can speak and barf

at the same time?

- Good glove, Michael. Way to go.

- That's the way to make the play.

I'm gonna let this one go.

Try catching.

Are you sure?

It's a slow pitch,

you can catch it on a bounce.

Get it and throw it back to the pitcher.

Come on.

I am so sorry.

I'm really... I...

I didn't mean to. Can I help you?

Ice. Get me ice.

I'm on the verge

of becoming a nutcase,

and my parents think I need

an attitude adjustment.

Sorry.

Yeah, so,

my dad wants to take me to

dinner tonight, just the two of us.

We ran out of things to talk about

when I was eight.

Rate this script:4.2 / 5 votes