The Princess Diaries Page #6

I will and last, but not least,

driving without a license.

Accompanied by an adult

whose license expired 45 years ago.

I've been trying to tell you, officer.

Licenses don't expire in Genovia.

Not for the Queen.

Don't I have diplomatic immunity?

You do, but her

we have to take downtown.

What?

- I'm sorry, miss.

- It's all right, I understand.

- I understand perfectly.

- You do?

No town, no city, no country

can function peacefully

if it's officers

and transportation engineers

don't follow the letter of the law.

I would be proud to have

two such fine, honorable gentlemen

serving in Genovia.

- Shucks, ma'am.

- We're not all that.

You most certainly are.

As a matter of fact,

I would like to bestow upon you

the honor of the...

...Genovian Order of the...

Genovian Order of the Rose.

Won't you please kneel?

Does anybody have a saber?

I've got an umbrella.

- I have an emergency brake.

- This will do fine.

With the power vested in me

by the royal crown of Genovia,

- I dub thee...

- Artie Washington, San Francisco.

Arthur Washington,

and I dub thee...

Bruce Macintosh of San Leandro.

Bruce Macintosh,

masters of the Order of the Rose.

And all of you bear witness to this

auspicious moment in history.

- Please rise.

- Wait'll I go home and tell Bernice.

Now, Mia, I know you don't want to go

all the way downtown, but...

That won't really be necessary.

No one got hurt, did they?

- We're insured.

- Chivalry ain't dead, you know.

- Noble Arthur, how very kind.

- Do you need a lift home?

That would be very helpful.

Come along, Mia.

- Good-bye, trolley people.

- Please take the car to Doctor Motors.

Goodbye.

You were awesome.

You are the coolest queen ever.

All in a day's work.

Wave good-bye, that's a queen.

- Would you like to slide in first?

- I never slide.

Thank you.

Bruce, how 'bout getting on your royal

carriage and getting us out of here?

Here she is. This is the possible

new Princess of Genovia.

That's right, Genovia.

Anyone know where Genovia is?

A country between France and Spain.

That was a question on Jeopardy.

This girl won the genetic lottery.

Back up, let's go, the Princess

is late for school.

- Could you sign my backpack?

- Hi, Princess.

- Can I have your autograph, please?

- What's your name?

- Lilly.

- That's my best friend's name.

Would you consider you

and the princess best friends?

I would say that.

We do everything together.

We shop, get our hair done,

even finish each other's sentences.

It's very cool.

- What's your name?

- Charlotte.

- You two must be twins.

- Yes.

I don't have any sisters,

but I do have a cat, Fat Louie.

- That's a funny name.

- Will you take a picture with me?

- The Princess is late for algebra.

- Thank you so much.

The pack is back.

Are you ready?

Mia.

Hi.

Step into my office.

Hi.

So I hope what Lana said on TV

didn't freak you out too much.

- No.

- Good.

Because I broke up with her

because of it.

I hate phony publicity seekers.

Anyway...

Saturday night's the big beach party.

I think it'd be cool

if we went together.

See ya on the waves.

Bye.

Attention.

Remember to watch Grove High School's

TV cable show Saturday night,

with our host, Lilly Moscovitz.

- Michael.

- Princess.

You will never guess what

Josh Bryant just asked me

Can I borrow a comb?

No.

He asked me to go to

the Baker beach party with him.

That's this Saturday, right?

I was thinking

I could come by next week

and listen to your band play then.

- All right?

- Yeah. That's... yeah.

You OK?

- I'm fine.

- I have to go, but thank you so much.

- Joseph driving you?

- No. He took the night off.

I'm gonna take the bus

with the other kids.

- I look like an asparagus.

- But a very cute asparagus.

Don't worry,

I'm just gonna wear my blue suit.

Are you nervous about the beach party?

No, actually I'm kind of excited.

I think I might get my first real kiss.

Who from?

Josh Bryant.

That Backstreet Boy clone

you've had a crush on forever?

He is not a Backstreet Boy clone,

he's a sailor.

I thought he was never nice to you.

Well...

I don't know, he is now.

I just hope that if he kisses me,

my foot pops.

- Pops?

- Yeah.

You know, in old films, whenever a girl

gets seriously kissed,

her foot would just kind of pop.

OK, I'm gonna go change now.

I hope you get your first real

foot-popping kiss.

We are Mark and Brian and

welcome to the Baker Beach Bash.

With one week left of school,

you'll be out for the summer

and we know what's on your mind,

how to find that summer love?

If you do, how do you know if it's true?

Here to tell us all about it,

please welcome Lana and the Lanettes.

Lana, Anna and Fontana.

- That is so amazing.

- Awesome.

I'm glad you had fun.

I thought you'd get soared.

- Most girls I take freak out.

- I wasn't scared.

And now it's time again

for your favorite talk show host,

direct from Grove High School,

the lovely Lilly.

It's Saturday night,

and welcome to my cable show,

Shut Up and Listen.

Later on in my show I will be joined

by our very own Princess Mia,

to discuss her positive opinion

of the Save the Sea Otter Movement.

Until she arrives,

I've asked Grove's magic master,

Jeremiah Hart, to entertain us

with some sleight of hand.

Hello, folks.

Awesome.

Hey, Princess, give us a smile.

How did they find me here?

- What?

- How did they find me here?

Wave everybody, you're on TV.

Wait, Princess.

Don't be shy. Come back.

Chopper boy, look over here. Royal DJ's.

- I am so sorry about all of this.

- No, it's fine.

It's fine.

They can't get us in here.

We were having such a good time

and they came and ruined it.

I know.

They can't see us, we can't see them.

We're all alone in this little shack.

Actually, it's kinda cozy in here.

There's no one I'd rather

be here with than you.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Josh.

- This isn't romantic.

- You're right.

My foot is caught

in a volleyball net and I...

- Hey! My dad thinks I'm a princess.

- I'm a friend of Mia's.

While we're waiting,

how about a foot massage?

That would be so wonderful, thank you.

Actually, I mean you give me one.

And, indeed, it is the queen of hearts.

Thank you, Jeremiah,

for your potpourri of prestidigitations

for the past hour.

Obviously, Princess Mia has a problem

appearing here tonight.

And I'm sure she has a good excuse.

I'm Lilly Moscovitz

for Shut Up and Listen.

Thank you and good night.

- Mia. The coast is clear.

- Really?

- They're gone.

- Good.

What do you say we go find

a more romantic spot?

Quiet.

No, stay.

- Give her a smooch.

- Give her a big, sloppy wet one.

Hit him again.

Go away. Get off.

Go away and leave me alone.

The Princess has left the building.

- What's your name?

- Where do you go to school?

Josh Bryant.

I go to Grove High School.

- What, are we friends with Mia now?

- Yes, we hate Josh.

Sorry, it's hard to keep up

with who we're not talking to.

- Here she comes.

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