The Princess Diaries Page #5

Mia was a normal kid.

She has never been normal,

she was born royal.

We cope with the press every single day,

and we will do it again.

You don't have to do this.

You can get out of

this whole thing right now.

Your mother is right.

We had a bargain.

All right. I will think about it

and let you know soon.

Good. A diplomatic answer.

Polite but vague.

Mia is the daughter of local

eclectic artist, Helen Thermopolis.

They currently live in a refurbished

firehouse south of Market Street.

Mia is also the only grandchild

of Queen Clarisse Renaldi.

Whose husband, King Rupert,

passed away last year.

This is Nelson Davenport, KRLH.

Will the Feng Shui Club please stop

rearranging the tables on the lawn.

Hello, princess!

You're the most popular girl in school,

everybody wants to take your picture,

and be your best friend.

- Hi, Lilly.

- Hi. So you know what?

I've made a list of all the reasons

for you not to be a princess.

Number one, no privacy.

Number two, you always

have to look just right.

Number three...

Are you OK?

What was number three?

You can't go nutso.

You can't be all... during the day.

Lilly, Lilly.

I really don't want to talk

about this at the moment.

- OK?

- OK.

One last question.

Now that you're "out,"

would you come on my cable show

Saturday night?

- Yeah, sure.

- I love you.

I'm going to buy you another charm

for your charm bracelet. OK? OK.

See you Saturday night.

Joe!

Yes, Miss Mia.

I don't want to run my own country.

I just want to pass tenth grade.

So... can't I tell everyone

I simply quit?

No one can quit being who they are,

not even a princess.

You can refuse the job,

but you are a princess by birth.

How can I tell if I can even do the job?

By simply trying-

Like the fancy dinner coming up.

She thinks you're ready.

Really?

Shall we practice entering

like a princess?

Entering.

At the Grand Ball,

you enter with the Queen,

but at the State Dinner,

you enter unaccompanied.

Shoulders back...

...smile.

They're all happy to see you

- There she is.

- How is she?

You are much prettier.

Well done, the worst is over.

Our diligent Prime Minister,

Sebastian Motaz.

- Hello.

- His lovely wife, Sheila.

- Hi, nice to meet you.

- Hello.

Their charming daughter, Marissa.

Lord Fricker,

let me take your brandy glass.

You won't need it in there.

Easy on the schnapps,

remember the Winter Dinner.

I'm not allowed to go to the party.

Dinner is served.

Her Majesty, Queen Clarisse.

Someday we will own Genovia again

and you will be Queen.

And your face

will be on a postage stamp.

- How are the children, Robby?

- Would you like to see them, ma'am?

There's Ryan and there's Bridget.

They're beautiful.

Would you like to see?

Mr. Prime Minister, how would you say

the pear market is doing in Genovia?

The Genovian pear market is blossoming,

if you'll pardon the pun.

I hear they're serving

filet on the bone.

And that's their princess.

They grow up so fast, don't they?

- You wanted to see me?

- Is everything all right?

- Yes.

- What happened with the ice bucket?

- I had a clumsy moment.

- OK.

The food's delicious, by the way.

It was for a feminist group in Scotland

called Tarts for Tartan.

- They were a wild bunch.

- Very exciting.

Thank you.

Between the courses

to cleanse the palate.

I'm fine. It's cold!

- She didn't realize it was frozen.

- What should we do?

We should take that much, too.

Just do the same thing.

They are acting like monkeys.

Have you ever experienced

that instant headache

when you eat ice too quickly?

No.

Wash your hands.

- I'm really sorry.

- It happens all the time.

I would like to propose a toast,

to the Baroness and Baron von Troken.

May you always be Baron.

The famous Genovian

pear and cheese dessert.

What else?

You are nothing

but an overdressed, drunken...

I'm outta here.

I am sopping

Was that my fault?

Shall we adjourn

to the Grand Ball for coffee?

Sorry I let you down, Dad.

Good night, Louie.

This place was such a mess

when I first arrived.

I've been spending every

spare moment in it I can.

Pick up one of these.

Make yourself useful. Spray everything.

- You're not mad for what happened?

- Actually, I found it rather funny.

Reminds me of my first

royal dinner party.

I knocked over a suit of armor

and the spear went right through

the suckling pig.

Amelia, why don't we cancel lessons

for today and just have some fun.

Fun? You're not too busy

for something like that?

Lady Jerome has just arrived,

and the French Consulate's assistant

is on hold.

He wants to confirm tonight's dinner.

Send my apologies.

Cancel everything today.

I'm being shown San Francisco

by a true San Franciscan.

Tell Joseph I'll need the car.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Wait.

I want to show you my baby.

I haven't sat in the front seat

of a car in the longest time.

By the way,

thanks for the money for my car.

So where are you taking me?

- Well, do you have any change?

- No.

It's not appropriate

for royalty to jingle.

OK, I'll get the change.

This one's my favorite.

You put a quarter in and grab his hand.

- I touch that?

- Yeah, you touch that.

And then you press the button...

...then you just go.

- All right.

Looks like Rupert's cousin

from Liechtenstein.

- How do I know it's ready?

- It'll just go.

There you go. It's going.

It's going!

Go, go!

You enjoy this humiliation?

It's hard the first time, do it again.

Hold this.

Come on, you can do it.

I'm ready for you this time.

Go. It's going, it's going.

Go, go, go.

Go, you're doing good.

Yes! You got it. Gimme five.

- Five?

- Five.

I want one of these.

Just not this one.

Did my father always

want to be a prince?

Yes.

Except once about 15 years ago.

He seriously considered

renouncing his title.

Because he met a lovely artist

who showed him wonderful things

about how life could be,

how he could be.

But?

But he had a decision to make.

Nobody could make it for him.

Not I, though many people thought I did,

or anybody else.

Philippe knew that my first born,

his brother Pierre, wanted to abdicate

which he did, eventually,

to join the church.

Your father realized that the love

he could have for one person,

or even two,

could not make him forget the love

he felt for his country and its people.

It was the hardest thing

he ever had to do.

- Do you want a bite of this?

- Why not?

Here goes.

- Why, it's delicious.

- Really?

Then, let's get another one.

I know it's the fastest way back

to the consulate, but I hate this hill.

I do believe I'm beginning

to feel that corn dog.

Maybe you could sneak gently through.

- OK, I'll try.

- Good.

- Now blaze on up.

- I got it.

- Yes, you've got it.

- I got it.

You've got it.

I haven't got it.

Mia... Mia, brake!

Look out!

Down here!

911, I need to report an accident.

Didn't you hear the bell?

- They put me on hold.

- For the love of God.

Put down

destruction of public property.

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