The Private Life of Don Juan

1

[ Bells Chiming ]

[ Guitar]

Hark, the scented dust is falling

The tender serenade

With melody is calling

Twixt every man and maid

For love has played the devil

Since on a summer's day

Don Juan rode into Seville

And loved and rode away

At first he made the serenade

All caballeros

Played

Seorita

As the love notes rise and fall

In the shadow of the wall

Let me woo you

And win you

Carmencita

-[ Man Snoring ]

- Let me turn your blood to fire

As the flame of my desire

Lights the passion

- Within you

- [ Snoring Continues ]

Seorita

- Let me fathom in your eyes

- Business!

- Business! Business!

- [ Singing Continues ]

You care only for business!

You know I've got to go.

I'll be back soon.

- Carmencita

- [ Sobbing ] Nobody loves me.

- From the rose between your lips

- Nobody cares for me.

To your dainty fingertips

You belong to Don Juan

- Love me

- Good night, Theresita.

I said good night, TheresitaI

[ Singing Continues ]

Who was that man?

Love me

- Or our fleeting honeymoon

- [ Snoring Continues ]

Goes too soon

- To love

- [ Snoring Continues ]

O seorita

Who was that man?

[ Singing Continues ]

[ Footsteps Approaching Rapidly ]

- Who was that man?

- There was no man here.

- I saw him with my own eyes!

- I've never been so insulted in my whole life!

I'll pack up immediately.

I'll go home to my mother.

[ Groans ]

I'm tired.

- I think I'll go to bed.

- All right!

Nevermore, darling.

- Forgive me?

- [ Singing Continues ]

Hey, Conchita!

Whoo-hoo!

- Don Juan is in town!

- Oh!

[ Singing Continues ]

[ Excited Chattering ]

[ Singing Continues ]

Seora, Don Juan is in Seville.

Shall I bar the windows?

No.

Who am I that I should fly

in the face of providence?

I must see him.

I'll go to his house tomorrow.

- [ Excited Chattering Continues ]

- [ Man ] Go to your rooms!

- Go inside. Go on.

- [ All Complaining ]

Go inside.

Anna, go back to your room.

Oh, all right.

Seorita

Let me fathom in your eyes

All the lure of heaven's skies

Where the young moon

Is waiting

Carmencita

From the rose between your lips

To your dainty fingertips

You belong to Don

Juan

Don Juan

Don

Juan

[ Ends ]

[ Flamenco ]

Oh, I can't! I can't!

[ Sobbing ]

Oh, what's the matter

with you now, Pepitta?

- Some man.

-" Some man''?

- You stupid goose!

- [ Gasps ]

You bloodless cow! There's only one man

like that in all Spain. It was he!

- How do you know?

- You don't know him.

I came down to rehearse

my carnival dance this afternoon.

I was all alone,

and suddenly a man walked in.

His hat so.

His sword so.

And I knew.

- What did he say?

- Nothing.

He just took me in his arms

and kissed me.

[ Scoffs ]

Kissed you? Was that all?

All?

My eyes closed.

My heart stopped.

My- My everything stopped.

What a kiss.

[ Castanets Clicking ]

What a kiss.

What a kiss.

- What, a kiss?

- Certainly.

One kiss from Don Juan, properly handled,

mind you, by a clever manager and you're made.

- By one kiss?

- From Don Juan.

Oh, I've seen it done.

A little actress with no more than two lines

and a pretty ankle, he noticed her.

Within the year, leading lady,

married to a marquis, living with a duke.

- Bring him here.

- Ah, that's very difficult.

Oh, not when properly handled

by a clever manager.

Ah, if there is one man in Seville

who knows how to play his cards properly-

He would bring me this king of hearts.

But you are the king of hearts,

Don Juan.

What are your symptoms?

Well, nowadays when I sit down

to a quiet game with a lady...

I'm no longer sure of holding the card.

Hmm.

[ Clears Throat ]

- Ahh.

- Ahh.

- Mmm.

- Mmm.

- Ahh.

- Ahh.

- Mmm.

- Well, Doctor?

- What's your age, Don Juan?

- How did you find the lungs?

Splendid.

And what's your age, Don Juan?

- What about the heart?

- Splendid.

- And what did you say was your age, Don Juan?

- How is the general condition, Doctor?

After what you have said about your age,

you're a miracle of youth, Don Juan -

an enviable constitution

in perfect health.

But I told you the symptoms.

There surely must be something wrong with me.

Aren't you going to give me

any prescription?

I shall.

A very important prescription.

Don't climb more

than one balcony a day.

- I don't.

- Last night you climbed at least 10 .

Since I arrived in Seville yesterday afternoon

I haven't moved from this house.

One balcony a day.

Then slowly reduce that

to four balconies a week.

Then reduce that again

to two balconies a week.

And in about 15 years -

Well, there won't be any more balconies.

Then you can come

and consult me again.

How much do I owe you?

Nothing, if it can be made known

that you have consulted me.

Three ducats

if I have to keep it a secret.

Look!

The streets are full of women!

Flowers again.

Flowers.

Eighty-nine letters.

And at 6:
00 yesterday evening, disguised,

unknown to anyone, we brought him to town.

And in a few hours all Seville knows he's here.

Which of you gave him away?

- Did I not give you my word?

- And did I not?

Then how in heaven's name

did they discover it?

Well?

What did the doctor say?

Oh, he said I'd eaten something

that disagreed with me.

- Passing indigestion.

- That's good news.

But I have bad news for you, Don Juan -

The whole town knows you're here.

Dolores! She followed us!

I knew she would!

- Oh, how I hate that woman.

- She loves you.

Loves me? Buying my debts?

Putting me in jail?

- You've only got to go back to her.

- Listen, I like jails.

I've always wanted to go to jail.

I insist on going to jail.

She can keep you there

for two years.

Oh, my love is going to jail

I'm putting my love to jail

Tomorrow morning

my love will be in jail

I don't understand you, my sweet.

What's the use of him if you put him in jail?

Do you remember

when you were in love?

If I think very hard, my sweet.

Well, think very hard.

Was he unfaithful?

Oh, I don't have to think hard.

Every man is unfaithful.

And when he was unfaithful,

did you want to lock him up?

Lock him up? [ Gasps ]

Chains on his hands and feet and neck.

You are right, my sweet.

You're wrong there, Conchita, because if you

put chains on his hands and his legs and neck...

he wouldn't be able

to embrace you.

Are you going to see him

in jail then?

Twice every day.

I've been appointed

the visiting governor.

He'll see no other woman but me.

How clever you were

to buy up all his debt.

[ Giggling ]

- Master?

- Hmm?

- Is it true you're really going to jail?

- Mmm.

- Why don't you go and see the lady?

- 'Cause I hate her.

During the year I was with her

she nagged me, watched me like a cat...

and accused me of being unfaithful.

- Were you?

- Yes, but she only guessed.

- Master.

- Mmm?

Aren't ladies pretty well all alike to you?

What have you got against this lady?

I adore women.

I never was able to resist women.

But this is the one woman in the world that

I'm determined to resist with my last breath.

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