The Private Life of Don Juan Page #2

- Why?

- That's my secret, Pedro.

Doa Dolores,

how did you discover we were here?

How can I help discovering it when Don Juan

has climbed every balcony in Seville?

Don Juan has not left the house

since we arrived yesterday evening.

[ Laughs ] I know women

whose balconies he's climbed.

I swear to you,

Don Juan has not left the house.

You swear as easily as Don Juan,

Leporello.

Doa Dolores, do you really

want to send him to jail?

Well, what else can I do when I'm in love with him

and he climbs every balcony in Seville?

- Can't that be forgiven?

- You know it can't.

He's only got to come

and ask me for the bills.

Is it so difficult for him

to come and see me?

He shall come and see you.

- Don't you believe it?

- No.

Do you think

he dislikes you so much?

I think he's afraid

he may like me too much.

But still, if he comes,

the bills will go into the fire.

You're very generous, Doa Dolores.

Thank you.

You don't think, um, an accident

might happen to Don Juan?

- No. I'll take good care of him.

- Well, you take very good care of him.

Balcony climbing

is a dangerous sport.

I'll be waiting all night.

You followed us again.

I must see Don Juan.

- Why do you want to see Don Juan?

- Well, I-I want to be like him.

- You dress like him.

- Yes. I do everything like him.

- Well, what do you want with him?

- The last trick. The last turn.

The real victory.

The mastery of women.

I don't know how it's done...

and until I do it's no use for me to go around

climbing balconies and kissing women.

- Climbing balconies?

- Mmm.

- Where were you last night?

- Oh, I had a grand time.

-I climbed nearly every balcony in Seville.

- I see.

- Don Juan would like to see you.

- Would he?

- Very much. Wait here, will you?

- Certainly. Oh -

Is it true he had 857 affairs

in three years?

To be exact, 903.

- What have you got there?

- Nothing.

How many times have I told you

not to eat anything starchy?

I think it's disgusting

I can't eat what I want.

Isn't your figure your only asset?

There must be a lot of women

that like fat men.

Yes, rich, fat men.

I'll sack the cook.

- What do you mean by sending this up?

- Oh, he begged me so hard to.

- I hadn't the heart to refuse him.

- Very well. You're sacked.

Sacked? Why, who's master here,

Don Juan or you?

I am! I look after his figure, his finances,

his fame and his future.

- Get out.

- No.

- No, no, seora, you can't come in.

- Oh, yes.Just for 10 minutes.

- No, no, you mustn't.

- You can't come in.

-[ Leporello ] RicardoI PedroI

- Coming!

Throw this man out.

Oh, forgive me, sir.

It shall not occur again.

I have a large family.

Hmm. Well, I have a soft heart.

In the future, no starch.

- Remember,you are cook to Don Juan.

- Very well, sir.

Who are you?

- What are you doing?

- Let me look.

Thank you.

I won't disturb you anymore.

Forgive me, Don Juan.

Oh, no. Stop!

- What did you come here for?

- All the women in Spain are dreaming about you.

I had to see you.

Well, now you have seen me.

You're not disappointed?

You're even more wonderful

than I imagined.

Are you married? Happily?

- Who is happily married nowadays?

- Oh, he neglects you!

Mm-hmm.

To neglect

such a glorious creature -

Oh, you're joking.

[ Gasps ]

No, no, I only wanted to see you.

Ecstasy.

Who could resist you, Don Juan?

- I found out how we were discovered.

- Dolores.

No, not at all. There's a young man downstairs

who has taken your place.

Oh, nobody can take my place.

Last night he gave

such a good imitation of you...

that everyone is satisfied

you're in Seville.

- What did he do?

- Climbed balconies, kissed women, seduced wives.

Did everything you can do

and was a great success.

Now you'd better go.

Tonight, then?

Tonight.

- Did they think it was me?

- They did.

Well, there's only gonna be

one Don Juan in this world.

[ Leporello ]

He's gone!

- Look! He's taken your diary!

- I'll find him and I'll kill him!

[ Knocking ]

- [ Knocking Continues ]

- [ Man ] Let me inI

- You can't come inI

- [ Men Arguing ]

- You can't get in!

- I'll kill him! I'll kill him!

- Who do you want to kill?

- That scoundrel Don Juan!

- Don Juan? Why?

- He made love to my wife.

- When?

- Last night.

Last night?

Last night.

I am Don Juan.

Come on!

- What?

- Yes - Oh.

I beg your pardon.

Is your wife charming?

- She is lovely.

- Lovely.

Thanks very much.

Come on!

- [ Gasps ]

- [ Don Juan Laughing ]

Lovely? When did you tell her

that she was lovely?

When did you send her

a basket of flowers?

When did you whisper words

that sent shivers up and down her spine?

Not for years.

Because you were married.

You just owned her,

like a monkey, a fiddle...

so that a miserable bungler

could come and take her away from you.

Why should a lovely wife

be faithful to you?

Clown. Yokel!

Boob! Husband!

How long have you been married?

- Six years.

- Six years.

- When did you tell her that she was lovely?

- Every day.

When did you send her

a basket of flowers?

Every day!

Are you... romantic?

Every day!

Oh. Kick him out.

He's a bore.

Your impersonator

must have been very busy last night.

I wonder why he ran away.

I'll find him and I'll kill him.

- Pepitta!

- Hmm?

We are sold out, and everybody hopes

that Don Juan will come to visit you.

- And over there?

- At the Black Cat?

- Mm-hmm.

- Empty!

- Come along, darling. Hurry up!

- [ Pepitta Giggling ]

[ Castanets Clicking ]

- [ Cheering ]

- Pepitta! Pepitta! Pepitta!

[ Flamenco ]

[ Castanets Clicking ]

- Full?

- No. Empty.

They've all gone over

to the Golden Pheasant to see Pepitta.

- Pepitta? That old battle horse?

- Old?

Twenty-six at least.

I'm 19 , and I can dance. She can't.

No, but Don Juan kissed her

yesterday afternoon.

Don Juan! Even his kiss

can't make her a good dancer.

No, perhaps not.

But what publicity!

Well, if Spain doesn't know anymore

what good dancing is, then - then -

Then what?

Then -Then it's no wonder that our fleet

was beaten by the English.

Oh, you can't argue with the public.

They expect Don Juan at the Golden Pheasant.

Don Juan! The man with

the worst taste in Spain!

- Worst?

- The worst!

Well, if you want my opinion,

you'll get ready for your turn.

And if you want my opinion,

I refuse to dance to an empty house.

And if you want my opinion,

you'll get the sack if you don't!

[ Gasps, Sighs ]

Here I am, darling.

How wonderful of you, Don Juan.

Yes.

Oh! Are you hurt?

No.

No, it's nothing at all, really.

- Well, he can't be here. The place is empty.

- Let's sit down. I'm tired out.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Bring a bottle of Hereth.

- [ Sobbing ]

- Antonita! Antonita!

- Don Juan is here!

- Don Juan?

- Don Juan!

- No! It isn't true!

Oh, I knew he'd come!

I knew he wouldn't go and see Pepitta!

[ Both Laughing ]

- Go tell the orchestra to get ready.

- Oh, hurry! Hurry!

- Oh, let's go.

- No.

It's easy enough for you to run about all night.

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