The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes Page #6

what l said was that...

we were going to put

you on the boat train.

l didn't say you were

going to stay on it.

She's not?

At 7:
30, Mr. Holmes

and Dr. Watson...

will be seen waving good-bye

to Madame Valladon...

at Victoria Station.

At 8:
1 2, Mr. and Mrs. Ashdown...

accompanied by

their valet John...

will appear at Euston Station...

and board the Highland Express

to lnverness.

Mister and missis.

Thank you.

l'm sorry for what l said.

That's not necessary.

l'll go and pack.

Maybe l should do it,

since l'm the valet.

Holmes, exactly what

are you up to?

As you like to put it

in your chronicles...

the game is afoot!

But what game?

Are you really that interested

in the Belgian engineer?

Or is it the wife of

the Belgian engineer?

You don't like me

very much, do you?

Nothing of the sort.

Quite the opposite...

but there's more to this case

than meets the eye.

Looking for something?

Yes. My other glove.

Let me help you.

Here it is.

Thank you.

All right. You can look now.

Am l embarrassing you,

Mr. Holmes?

Not at all.

Would it surprise you...

if l told you l once

spent a night with 1 21 women?

Oh?

A very interesting case--

in a harem in Constantinople.

Oh! l'm...sorry, Father.

l mean, Friar. Or is it Abbot?

Going to Scotland,

you gentlemen?

So are we.

l'm a valet.

My master and mistress and l

are on our way to lnverness.

Ever been there?

Beautiful country.

Oh, forgive me.

You must be one of those orders

that's taken the vow of silence?

Trappists,

l think you're called.

l see you're reading

''The Book of Jonah.''

Funny. We were just talking

about Jonah this morning.

Never mind.

Hmm...''Women are never

to be entirely trusted...

''not the best of them.''

What did you say?

l didn't say it.

You did,

according to Dr. Watson.

He gave me some old copies

of ''Strand Magazine.''

The good doctor is constantly

putting words into my mouth.

Then you deny it.

Not at all.

l am not a wholehearted

admirer of womankind.

l'm not very fond

of them myself.

The most affectionate woman

l ever knew was a murderess.

Oh?

lt was one of those

passionate affairs...

at odd hours

right in my laboratory.

And all the time,

behind my back...

she was stealing cyanide...

to sprinkle on her husband's

steak and kidney pie.

You mustn't judge all women by--

Of course not.

Only the ones l

was involved with...

and l don't just

mean professionally.

Kleptomaniacs, nymphomaniacs,

pyromaniacs...

Take my fiancee, for instance.

Your...fiancee?

She was the daughter

of my violin teacher.

We were engaged to be married,

the invitations were out...

l was being fitted

for a tailcoat...

and twenty-four hours

before the wedding...

she died of influenza.

l'm sorry.

lt just proves my contention

that women are unreliable...

and not to be trusted.

Good night, Mrs. Ashdown.

Good night, Mr. Ashdown.

Sie sputen mach lnverness.

Doch steigen die aus.

Dort mussen wir

finden den Valladon.

l will take that.

Let's see now.

One, two, three, four, five.

How do you get to Glennahurich?

How far is it?

Glennahurich...

You know, a valley

with a yew tree.

lt's about a mile

out of the town.

Why do you want to go there?

Well, it sounds like

a nice, peaceful place...

for a picnic.

lt's a peaceful place,

right enough...

but it's no place for a picnic.

Why not?

Because it's a cemetery.

The three boxes!

ls that it, Holmes?

l would think so.

The two small ones--

they must be children's coffins.

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes,

dust to dust.

ln sure and certain hope...

of the Resurrection

to eternal life...

through our Lord Jesus Christ.

The grace of

our Lord Jesus Christ...

and the love of God...

and the Communion

of the Holy Spirit...

be with us all.

Amen.

lt's so sad.

Sad and rather odd.

There were no flowers

and no mourners.

Good morning.

Morning.

Working you hard, dad?

No, not really.

You see,

this is healthy country.

Sometimes, you sit around

for weeks with nothing to do.

Then you get three in one day.

What happened?

An accident, aye.

A father and two sons,

they say.

They were found floating

in the loch.

Local people?

No, no. No one

around here knows 'em.

The story is their boat

capsized in a swell...

but l don't believe it.

What do you believe?

Well, you may think

l'm an old fool...

an old drunk, but...

l've been living around

Loch Ness all me life.

Are you trying to tell us

it was the monster?

Damn right.

MacLaren saw the kids' faces...

when they were pulled

out of the water.

Looked just like old men.

They must've died of fright.

That's incredible.

ls it?

Last Easter Sunday,

the wife and me...

on our way to services,

when suddenly...

Ah, what's the use?

Here you are, dad.

Thank you. Thank you.

You seem like nice people.

lf you're wanting a holiday

in Scotland...

go to Loch Lomond,

go to Holy Loch...

but stay away from Loch Ness.

To think that people

still believe in that nonsense.

l mean, here we are, living

in the nineteenth century.

l'm ashamed to admit it,

but l was relieved...

when he mentioned

a father and two boys.

lt couldn't have anything

to do with Emile.

lt would appear not.

However, there still remains

the clue of the castle...

and the red runner,

whoever he may be.

lf they're

unidentified graves...

why are those boys

bringing flowers?

Because it's their brothers

who have just been buried.

Their brothers?

And they're not boys.

They're as tall

as they'll ever grow.

Hand me some pebbles.

Pebbles?

Take a look at their faces.

They are...how do you

call them in English?

Midgets.

Boys with the faces of old men.

l still don't see--

Would it help if l told you

they were acrobats?

Not at all.

Do you remember a tumbling act--

six brothers missing

from the circus?

That case you turned down.

l completely forgot.

Some of us are cursed with

memories like flypaper...

and stuck there is

a staggering amount...

of miscellaneous data,

mostly useless.

Mr. Holmes...if those

are not children, then--

Quite.

The question now is,

who's in the third grave?

Holmes! She's fainted!

Hand me that lantern.

lt is Valladon, isn't it?

Obviously...but what

is not so obvious...

is why his wedding ring

has turned green...

and why there are three

dead canaries in the coffin.

White canaries.

You've a lovely view

of the loch from here...

as soon as the morning mist

rolls away.

lf you have a mind to do

any sightseeing...

here's a guide to all

the local points of interest.

Thank you.

This way, please.

l'll show you to your room.

l suppose you're putting

me in the basement.

No, your room's in the attic.

Good.

lt's the privy that's

in the basement.

Oh.

May l have your

wedding ring, please?

Just as l thought--

there is a distinct

difference in color...

between your ring

and your husband's...

which leads me to believe

that the cause of death...

was not drowning.

l wish you would stop that.

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