The Rehearsal Page #3

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feeling soul.

But you know we're working

for opposing teams now.

- How's that?

- Well, theatre has its roots

in magic, ritual, sacrifice.

I'm in the truth trade, buddy.

- Well, I guess I thought

acting's a way of getting inside

someone's head.

- So you think actors know

ordinary people better

than ordinary people

know themselves?

- No. But I'm not sure

that psychologists do either.

(laughing)

- Ahem.

Yeah, she hates her job.

But, hey, look,

tell me about you.

You got a girlfriend yet?

- Uh, kind of, yeah.

- Yeah? Alright, well...

- Did you hear

about the tennis coach

who got suspended for molesting

one of his players?

- What,

now you're molesting her?

(laughter)

- Funny.

Uh, I'm actually seeing

her sister.

- Yeah? Good for you, mate.

Does your mum know?

- No.

- Oh. Okay.

What's the number-one cause

of paedophilia in this country?

Sexy kids.

(laughing)

- Why don't you ever get

beaten up, man?

(laughing)

- I know it's terrible.

(laughing)

It's a joke, son. It's a joke.

- Huh!

(grunting)

Tennis grunts.

Oof

(funky music)

Oof

Oof

Oof

(funky music)

- How well do you know Stanley?

- I see him when I can.

He was an accident.

Uh, his mother,

we met at a bar.

Uh, she was behind the bar,

and she decided to keep him,

but I was Sydney-based,

so first time I met him,

he was in nappies.

- Sad story?

- No.

- No.

For you.

Stanley, it's a sad story.

You're not being your father;

you are presenting him

for our judgement,

because he wasn't there for you.

Let that go.

This is not about

that wounded boy.

Here, now, this is the man.

How does the man feel?

(sighing)

- I saved his life.

She was going

to call him Gerald.

(scoffing)

Gerald.

(laughter)

But he's a good kid.

We swap dirty jokes.

That's our thing.

I have my secretary

look them up.

(laughter)

- What kind of dirty jokes?

- What's the difference between

acne and a Catholic priest?

- Dunno.

- Acne only comes on your face

after puberty.

(exclamations and laughter)

What, too far?

- Tell me a joke

that Stanley's told you.

- Do you like jokes?

Are you the type of woman

who can throw her head back

and laugh at a dirty joke?

Because, you know,

a woman who can do that,

really laugh?

Devastating.

(laughing softly)

- Anyone else?

Questions for Stanley's Dad?

- Do you think Stanley

is still a virgin?

- No comment.

(laughter)

No, I'm just f***in' with you.

(laughter)

- Does Stanley love you?

- Does Stanley love me?

Well, deep down I probably

disappoint him a bit.

He wants to rebel against me,

but he can't.

But I don't make the rules

in his life.

- Does Stanley ever tell you

what he thinks about us?

- Wait. Are you the sexy one?

(laughter)

Or are you just the one

who loves everybody?

(laughter)

Because if you're the sexy one,

I'll tell you later.

(laughter)

- Never introduce me

to your father.

(Stanley chuckling)

How did you do it?

I want the details.

- I wrote something dirty

on a piece of paper,

and put it in my pocket.

(laughing)

- Well, that worked.

It's a glorious feeling,

isn't it?

Read the chapter on risk

in that.

That's where you went today.

- Oh, thanks.

- So he doesn't approve

of your chosen profession?

- Yeah.

(laughing)

- He's right.

Acting is a horrible career.

- You did it.

- How's the devised piece going?

- Great.

- Friction is good,

but don't leave it too late.

Tick-tock.

You are a special group,

and we have to get

the right eyes on you.

- Thanks.

Is that the new theatre?

- It certainly is.

A thousand seats,

flexible studio space,

a gallery, a bar, a caf.

- Cool.

- The level of sh*t that's been

thrown at me over it is surreal.

It's fear, basically.

It's all about how badly

you want it.

I saw that in you today.

You wanted it.

- Yeah, I did.

- You have to go all the way,

all the time.

If you pull back even a little,

you'll just disappoint yourself.

(music)

(indistinct chatter)

(laughter)

- Well...

I'm gonna go to bed.

'Night.

- Good night.

(Stanley whistling)

(Frankie chuckling)

- I should leave.

Do you want me to go?

- I want you to stay.

- Mum and Dad have been such

c*nts about this whole thing.

(TV playing)

- You've got it better.

- No, I don't.

I always get compared to you.

Whatever I do, you did it first.

- That's balls.

(indistinct TV chatter)

- Who do you think

you're kidding, Mr. Hitler?

- Yeah.

- Have you seen him?

I mean, I don't want him

to go to jail or anything.

- You don't know anything.

- God in heaven.

That's Italian, no?

- Not even. My grandfather

killed heaps of Italians,

when he was

in the Maoris Battalion.

- There's this guy.

His name's Stanley.

- The one you text all the time?

Does Mum and Dad know?

- No.

He's at The Institute.

- Off! No TV till you've done

your homework.

I mean it.

The lasagna's defrosting.

Make a salad, will you?

I'll be home 10:
00...

10:
30 latest. Bye.

- Bye.

- Bye, Mum.

- Have you two, like,

hooked up yet?

(door closing)

(chuckling)

- I'm gonna go to Bryony's.

- I'll be here.

- Bye.

(rock music blaring)

- Oh, that's just Theo.

- Jeez!

(music stops)

Hello.

- Hi.

- William.

- Isolde.

- Oh, yes.

Strong handshake.

Strong hands.

(rock music playing)

- Oh, do you want to...

- Sure.

- I probably need a picture.

- Yeah.

Have you read all these?

- Uh, no, but that one's

actually about a guy

who falls for a goat.

- An actor in a goat costume?

- No, a goat.

(chuckling)

- Do you miss home?

- Uh, I miss the beach.

But it's so small.

Like, everyone knows

everything about you.

- It's quiet here.

- Mm.

- That thing with my sister...

I was the one who saw them.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- So you told your parents?

- No. Well, not... right away.

- Well, what did you see?

- I saw him, my coach...

like, touching this girl.

At first,

I couldn't tell who she was,

because he had her shirt up,

covering her face.

- Yeah?

Was he, like, forcing her?

- No. Not at all.

She wanted it.

You could tell.

Um... I might go.

- Oh.

- I'll see you.

Bye.

- I found a photograph...

of this other family...

(tearfully):

...and then it all came out...

He just left

and I haven't seen him since.

(sighing)

I'm sorry.

- Thank you, Marnie.

William. The T-shirt?

Is that connected

to your most intimate moment?

- Not really... no.

(laughter)

So, um...

I was home from boarding school,

for the Easter holidays.

Or, as I like to call them,

"Jesus was crucified

so you should be too" holidays.

(laughter)

Yeah. And, um, my mum had...

my mum had left this Easter lamb

to marinate,

and when we came back

into the kitchen, um,

the dog had it on the floor

and was sniffing it. Yeah?

Not licking it,

or pissing on it,

or having a little wank on it,

you know.

My mum just screams

this gates-of-hell shriek,

just tears throughout the house.

My dad comes running in

and the dog... just bolts away.

And my mum's just saying,

"Oh, that's it. That's it.

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