The Reivers Page #2

- More cane, please.

- Henry, Luke, more cane.

Now what was you saying, Lucius?

Tell it to me again, slowly.

I said, Callie's doing the housecleaning,

and I'd be underfoot...

so I'm supposed to stay

with either Cousin Zack or you.

But if it wouldn't hurt your feelings any,

I'd kind of like to stay with Cousin Zack.

See, he found this new fishing hole

he wants me to try.

If I know Zack,

that fishing hole ain't on his property.

You be careful you don't get

your pants shot off.

- All right.

- We'll see you, Boon.

You left Aunt Callie

to go out to Uncle Ike's...

to tell him that you're coming to me...

to tell me that you're going fox-hunting

for four days with Ned.

You're a regular Wandering Jew.

Is it all right?

If it's all right with your mama,

it's all right with me. Lucius!

She did say you could go, didn't she?

Remember, you're on your honor

while she's gone.

I know it. I wouldn't lie.

Put your cap on,

'cause it's gonna be a hot one.

Well, I'll be damned.

Come on. Let's get away from here.

And so we were off.

And I had already told more lies

than I thought I was capable of inventing...

and I'd had them believed...

a fact which had me spellbound,

if not appalled.

How do you feel about things now?

I don't know yet.

We're going to have fun. I'm telling you,

we're gonna have a good time.

Maybe the best time of our whole lives.

When we get there, I want to drive her in.

All right, you'll do that.

Right across the Fourth Street bridge...

in front of all those hotels and right smack

into the center of town, okay?

Camptown ladies sing that song

Doo-dah! Doo-dah!

Camptown racetrack five miles long

Oh! The doo-dah day!

Gonna run all night!

Gonna run all day!

Gonna bet my money on a bob-tail nag

Somebody bet on the bay

You see, Boon knew something I didn't.

That the rewards of virtue...

are cold and odorless and tasteless...

and not to be compared...

to the bright and exciting pleasures

of sin and wrongdoing.

Camptown ladies sing that song

Doo-dah! Doo-dah!

Camptown racetrack five miles long

Oh! The doo-dah day!

- Gonna sing all night!

- Gonna run all day!

Bet my money on a bob-tail nag

Somebody bet on the bay

All right!

Now what the hell are you doing there?

- Singing.

- Out!

Hey, wait a minute. I'm going along.

You weren't invited.

If I wait till I'm invited,

I never will go nowhere.

And anyway, somebody with sense

has to be around to look after the boy.

- Oh, and that's you!

- Well, it ain't you.

I didn't get him to tell lies

all around the countryside...

and steal his granddaddy's automobile.

- Borrow.

- Whatever.

- It wouldn't hurt if he came along.

- It isn't gonna help either.

I've got a right to a trip,

same as you and Lucius.

I'm kin and you ain't.

- What'll you give?

- A packet of snuff.

- Don't use it.

- My pocket watch.

- It don't work.

- A wood-smoked ham.

- How many pounds?

- Ten.

Done.

Imagine me, a white man,

having to chauffeur a n*gger to Memphis.

I thought for a minute that me and you

was gonna misunderstand one another.

Let's go.

And so we were three, three reivers,

hightailing it for Memphis.

Oh, "reivers"...

that's an old-fashioned word

from my childhood.

In plain English,

I'm afraid it meant "thieves."

...had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o

and on that farm he had some chicks

ee-i-ee-i-o

and a chick-chick here

and a chick-chick there

here a chick, there a chick

everywhere a chick-chick

Look out!

Look at him. Sitting there

as innocent as a new-laid egg.

Who's he?

He's the son of a b*tch

who takes that team...

and works this place like a patch

to keep it muddy.

Last year he charged me $2

to pull out my wagon.

$2? That sure beats cotton.

He ain't gonna get me this time.

This here is an 18-horsepower automobile

under us.

All right. Somebody give me some help here.

Don't look at me,

'cause I don't know how to help.

I ain't learned that much

about automobiles yet.

Get out.

I'll just be in your way. I'll sit with Lucius,

so you'll have plenty of room.

You wanted a trip...

you got one! Now, get out!

Let Lucius get out. He's younger than me.

- He's gotta steer.

- I'll steer if that's all you want.

- Jump out, boy, and help Mr. Boon.

- Lucius, sit where you are.

I'm going over there

to get one of those poles...

and when I come back,

I ain't gonna stick it under the car.

This water's got dirt in it.

If there's one thing I hate,

it's dirt between my naked toes!

That's because your circulation

ain't roused up yet.

Don't worry, brightie-eyes, it will be.

All right, now, jam her under the axle.

Lucius, when she bites,

just take her on through.

One, two, heave!

Stop!

- Get up there.

- Here he comes now.

Get up there. Come on.

Good morning, boys.

Looks like you boys

about ready for me now, huh?

You look like a boy that knows

which end of a mule to hook to.

Get down and hook it yourself. Why the hell

else are we paying $2 for a hired expert?

Nope. That was last summer.

Dabbling in water has undermined

my system to where I come down...

with rheumatism if I so much

as spit on myself. Here.

- Now where you want me to hook it?

- I don't care, myself.

Hook it up to any part you want

to come out of the mud hole.

If you want it all to come out

at the same time, I'd say hook it to the axle.

Stop shoving.

You can watch it. Just watch it.

Okay. It's hooked.

- You all ready?

- Yeah.

By the way, I forgot to mention it.

So maybe I'd better.

Prices have doubled around here

since last year. It's $6 now.

Of course, maybe you'd rather walk back

to Jefferson than to pay two more dollars...

but maybe that boy

and that other fellow wouldn't.

That boy is just a child.

And surely for a child...

Walking back to Jefferson

might be lighter for him...

- but it won't be no shorter.

- All right! But what about this other one?

When you wash that mud off,

he ain't even white.

Son, both these mules are color blind.

Come on, Daisy, giddyup!

What did I tell you?

The highway to Memphis.

She's all yours.

Look.

Motorcycle.

Just don't get the idea

you're a 40-mile-an-hour railroad engine.

Let her rip.

Don't gawk, Lucius.

Concentrate on your driving.

Now, Lucius...

this is kind of...

a boarding house. You're gonna like it here.

I got a letter last week

from one of the girls...

One of the ladies that works...

That's staying here...

and she's got her nephew visiting her...

so you're gonna have somebody

to play with.

- What's the matter with you?

- Don't mind me.

And, it's usually pretty lively here,

with conventions and things.

But it's quiet now, 'cause it's Sunday.

Maybe they've all gone

to early prayer meeting.

No, I don't think so.

They're probably resting.

From what?

All right. Out. Come on, get out.

If you figure on going home

with us tomorrow...

you be here at the stroke of 8:00

tomorrow morning.

I mean the first stroke, 'cause I ain't

gonna be here to hear the last one.

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