The Reivers Page #3

If you can finish your business

by 8:
00 in the morning...

how come you think I can't, either?

Lucius...

here, you keep this for me.

I may lose it someplace.

Now, when I need some,

I'll tell you how much to give me on it.

- Hi, Minnie.

- Hi.

Why, it's Boon Hogganbeck,

with a little blue-eyed child in tow.

Come in, Boon.

Lucius. This is Miss Reba,

so make your manners.

- How do you do, ma'am?

- I'll be damned. Did you see that, Minnie?

But I don't know what to say to you.

Our Mr. Binford has strong feelings

against having children on the premises.

He says they'll be in here

soon enough anyway.

So why not wait until they have some jack...

and are capable of spending it?

- Do you want me to tie him out in the yard?

- No, of course not.

We'll see if we can find

a little corner for him.

Now you both go up,

and take a nice, warm, sudsy bath...

and we'll see what we can work out.

Minnie, go up and tell everybody...

to stay out of the bathroom

for the next half an hour.

Where's Corrie?

She's in the parlor, changing the piano rolls.

- Hello, Boon.

- Hi, kiddo.

Lucius, come on down here, honey.

I'd like you to meet someone.

Corrie, watch this.

Lucius, this is Miss Corrie.

How do you do, ma'am?

What do you think of that?

- All right. Go get cleaned up, now.

- Go on, Lucius.

I'm not gonna roll around...

I am not gonna roll around

in any bed with you...

and let you nibble my ear,

and tell me silly things.

I'm staying with my plan.

Your plan is crazy.

Always was, always will be.

There's nothing crazy about it.

My sister Alice is married

and has three children.

My cousin Edith is married

and she's got four children.

I'm the last one on the vine.

You still think you'll get married

out of here...

with all those girls standing

in their underwear...

throwing rice at you

as you go out the front door?

- Yes, I do.

- Excuse me for saying so, honey...

but keeping a hope chest in a cathouse

is the dumbest thing I've heard.

Not every man's like you, Boon.

Some men come to women

for comfort and gentleness.

They want to talk about their troubles.

I listen and they like me.

My hope is that one day,

one of them will like me enough.

We know one thing, don't we, Boon?

It won't be you, will it?

All I want to do is just spend a dollar

and have some fun. Any crime in that?

Boon...

you can't be greedy

about Corrie's time this trip.

We've got a lot of conventions in town.

Policemen, firemen, Elks.

We're gonna be real busy.

Go up and take a nice cold bath

and cool yourself down.

Then come back and show us

how handsome you are.

Guess you never saw anything

like that before.

Yes, I have.

You have?

Mrs. Fletcher down the block.

She forgot to put down

her window shades one night.

It's a mystery, that's for sure.

It's all a mystery.

Come on.

I'll dry between your shoulder blades.

I guess you and I have been friends

ever since we've known each other.

From the time I carried you

around on my back in the livery stable...

to holding you

on the first horse you ever rode.

I guess that's right.

And here you are:

A night away from your mama's house...

you've learned to drive an automobile

for the first time...

and your first trip into the big city.

Any boy that's done all that...

can handle anything.

Like what, Boon?

You'll notice that there are a lot of

ladies staying at this boarding house.

Don't any men live here?

Don't know any men actively live here,

except Mr. Binford.

Just men visiting their lady folks,

kind of quiet and polite-like.

- You follow me?

- I will if you'll just get on with it.

All right.

Then here it is.

Folks back in Jefferson would say

you're not old enough to know these things.

I say you are.

I say there's some things a boy can learn...

that he never even knew about before.

So later on in life, when he needs them,

he's already got them.

See, ain't nothing you don't learn,

that later on you might need.

And when that day comes...

you can thank your lucky star

that your good friend Boon helped you.

Does that make any sense to you?

Some.

Some is good enough for the time being.

I went back to see Mrs. Fletcher again...

and her husband came out on the porch

with his bulldog.

Be sure and say please and thank you

when they pass things.

Otis, I told you not to do that!

- Boon!

- Hello, Boon.

- How are you?

- Ladies, this is Lucius.

- Well, hello, Lucius.

- Isn't he adorable?

Lucius, I want you to meet Otis,

Miss Corrie's nephew.

How do you do?

I do just fine if I'm left to it.

Our Mr. Binford should be

with us any moment.

He doesn't like us to begin without him.

He's probably waxing his mustache

to keep it up out of the soup.

That'll do, Otis!

Dinner's getting cold and I'm getting hungry.

That's his step now.

Ladies and gents all...

hash time.

Evening, Boon.

Evening. This is a friend of mine.

Lucius Priest McCaslin.

How do you do, sir?

I hurried as fast as I could.

And I'm not late am I, Mr. Binford?

Your hopes are dashed because you are.

That'll cost you 25 cents in the box.

I don't think that's fair. Miss Reba?

Those are the house rules, Phoebe.

A house without rules is not a home.

- Damn it, I...

- The trouble with you b*tches...

is that you got to act like ladies

sometimes, but you don't know how.

- I'm learning you how.

- Mr. Binford, I don't think that's fair.

- I really don't. I figure if you want to...

- You put two bits in the box and sit.

So we can get some peace around here.

All right now, Miss Reba,

tell Minnie to get some beer.

Minnie, bring some beer.

How about some beer, boy?

You a beerhead?

No, sir. I don't drink beer.

- He drinks beer. Don't you?

- Yes, sir.

I drink anything that's put in front of me.

You hear that? Now, don't you like it?

Or can't you get it?

I'm not old enough yet.

Whiskey, then.

No, sir. I don't drink anything.

See, I promised my mother I wouldn't

unless Father and Boss invited me.

Who is this Boss?

He means his grandfather.

He tells you what to do and you do it.

- Sounds like you call him Boss, too?

- That's right.

Boss isn't here now. Your mother isn't here.

You're out on a tear with Boon.

Your folks are 80 miles away.

Here, you can have some.

No, sir, I promised her.

I see.

You promised her

you wouldn't go drinking with Boon?

Didn't promise her

you wouldn't go whore-hopping?

What the hell kind of language is that

to use in front of a child?

Lady, use your mouth

to eat your supper with.

Move over, and leave room for Otis.

I'll bet you got in that bed

without brushing your teeth.

I didn't bring anything to brush them with.

You neglect your teeth

and you'll end up with a denture...

floating in a water glass by your bedside.

They'll snap at you in the night, too.

Come on.

One thing I know is boys.

I got eight brothers

from 14 on down, like steps.

And my favorite one

is just your age and size.

His name is Ben.

I don't have any brothers or sisters.

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