The Rewrite
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2014
- 107 min
- $324,889
- 1,360 Views
1
So thanks very much for having
me in and here's my pitch.
This is a movie I've had in my head for
a long time. It's a comedy. Hopefully.
Anyway...
Let's say Jack Nicholson decided
that he wanted to know
what people truly thought of him.
Whether his life had
actually amounted to anything.
So he fakes his death
and stages his own funeral.
I just think the possibilities
are pretty hilarious.
Ultimately, amid all the clich eulogies
and insincere expressions of grief,
he discovers one grandson
It could be very heartwarming.
I don't get this.
Just like I didn't get it when
you pitched it to me six months ago.
I did? Where was that?
At the Red Sunset premiere.
Glad I left such an
impression that night.
Oh, right, sorry, yeah, yeah.
I knew I knew you.
Sorry. Yes! Yes!
Yeah, you were between jobs
and looking for a development position.
So, bravo! No, that was a great night.
Oh, of course, there's no reason
why it couldn't be a woman.
You know, everyone loves Betty White.
Keith, we love you.
We're huge fans.
This is the studio that made
your Paradise Misplaced 15 years ago,
when Jenny over here was just an embryo.
It's a fun idea, it's just not for us.
We're looking more for edgy comedies
with a kick-ass-type woman.
Now if you have something like that,
we'd love to hear it.
You are a fantastic agent
as you have frequently told me.
I just wanted to ask, do you think
you could possibly find me just...
Just one job, you know? Just any job.
OK.
There is something.
You have to hear me out.
If it pays, I'll take it.
My brother-in-law is a chem professor at
Binghamton University in upstate New York,
and they're looking for a writer
in residence this semester,
cos the one they had died,
so I thought of you.
You thought of me for a teaching job?
Look, you're going to teach
a screenwriting class.
You're going to take some time
to figure out your life
And they're going to give you a car,
a house, a salary.
Yeah, a pitiful one I don't doubt.
Well, it's a lot more
than you're making now.
Yeah, but I can't teach
and I hate teachers, you know.
They're frustrated losers who haven't
done anything with their own lives
so they want to instruct other people.
Oh, forget it, I will just
write my script on spec and...
Keith?
OK. Where exactly is Binghamton?
The city of Binghamton is
2,754 miles from Los Angeles
and 172 miles northwest
of New York City.
IBM was founded there.
Sir, is this your bag?
- Yeah.
- Well, we have to check it.
OK.
Rod Serling, creator of Twilight Zone
grew up and was raised there.
I admit there's a somewhat
ominous quality to that factoid.
What is this?
"Best Original Screenplay."
Dude, you wrote Paradise Misplaced?
I did. Yeah, yeah.
That's such a great flick.
- Thank you. Thanks very much.
- Yo, Kevin, Ali, come here.
This is Keith Michaels.
- You wrote that?
- Yeah, yeah.
- A long time ago but I did, yeah.
- Oh, I love that movie, man.
- My kids love that movie.
- Thank you, thank you, I appreciate it.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
Wow, look at this.
I could have brought a bomb on board
and no one would have minded.
Don't say that. That's not good.
Oh, you're so right. I'm sorry.
I apologise. I used to know what was funny.
Thank you. Thank you.
Binghamton is also the
birthplace of the Spiedie,
a sandwich consisting of cubes
of marinated beef, chicken, or pork
grilled over a charcoal pit.
Binghamton is amongst the top 10
most cloudy and rainy American cities.
On the plus side, it is considered
"the carousel capital of the world".
It has never been the
site of a major riot.
And from what I can tell so far,
it is the absolute end of civilisation.
It's impossible to know what
anyone could have to teach here
except "get out".
Can I help you with something?
Oh, sorry. I'm just a bit jet-lagged.
I just flew in from LA.
- You came here from LA?
- Yeah. Yeah.
I have come to teach at the college.
- What are you teaching?
- Writing. Screenwriting.
You're Keith Michaels?
I submitted a screenplay for that class.
Are you kidding me?
Come sit with us.
No, I don't want to impose...
Dude, you have to. It's only
my favourite movie of all time.
OK, I will... I will obey.
Thank you.
I'm Karen. This is Judy and Chloe.
Right. What are you
all majoring in then?
- I'm pre-med.
- Really?
And where do you
stand on full body scans?
Would you say helpful or would you say
cancer-causing cash conduits?
- Well, I mean...
- Nice alliteration.
I'm an English major.
I thought I recognised
a fellow sufferer.
Telepathy?
I can't believe you wrote that movie.
That's absolutely, truly cool.
Nice assonance.
- Assonance is the repetition of vowel sounds.
- Vowel sounds.
Look at me. Teaching already.
I really want to take your course.
Well, that's good news.
Fantastic.
Henry, no. Sorry. Henry's not used
to seeing people in the house.
I'm Jim.
Hi, Jim. Henry.
I've got to get ready for work.
Right. No problem.
Hey.
Good morning.
I unfortunately have to go. I'm supposed
to meet the head of the department.
Dr Lerner. I had him for Chaucer.
When you say you
"had him" for Chaucer...
- This was really fun.
- Yeah.
- See you later.
- Yeah.
I like being a teacher.
Harold Lerner. How was your trip?
It was nice. Thank you.
We could have had somebody
meet you at the airport.
I'm sure one of our nerdier English majors
would have been happy to do that.
Oh, no, no, that's fine.
Although I have actually met
some of the students,
and they're extremely generous
with their time.
Oh, sure, yeah, they're friendly.
Most of them are high.
US Marine Corps.
I... I like to follow the rules.
Well, Writers Guild of America.
I feel exactly the same.
Excellent.
Let me grab something
and I'll show you to your new digs.
Yeah, yeah.
Good use of their parents'
tuition money.
Well, here's your new home
away from home.
That's lovely. Yeah, thank you.
Oh, there's a little faculty get-together
at 5:
00 tonight in the Susquehanna Lounge.Give you a chance to meet
the rest of the department.
Good. Great.
- All right. Give me a call if you need anything.
- Yep, yep, yep.
Thank you. Oh, Dr Lerner,
you forgot your box.
Oh, I'm sorry, no. That's yours.
That's the 30-page screenplays
submitted by all the students
who wanna take your course.
About 70 of them.
And you teach day after tomorrow,
so we're going to need
your selections right away.
You only have to pick 10.
We would have let you know sooner,
but we didn't know you were
taking the job until a couple days ago.
OK.
- Happy reading.
- Yeah.
Mr Michaels! Mr Michaels!
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, I'm glad I caught you
before the faculty reception.
I'm Holly Carpenter.
Hello. Hello.
And what do you teach, Holly?
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