The Room Page #4

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Johnny:
A-ha-ha-ha! What a story, Mark!

Mark:
Yeah, you can say that again.

Johnny:
I’m so happy I have you as my best friend, and I love Lisa so much.

Mark:
Yeah, man. Yeah, you are very lucky.

Johnny:
Well maybe you should have a girl, Mark.

Mark:
Yeah. Yeah, maybe you’re right. Maybe I have one already. I don’t know yet.

Johnny:
Well, what happened? Remember Betty? That’s her name?

Mark:
Betty?

Johnny:
Yeah.

Mark:
Yeah, we don’t see each other anymore. You know, she wasn’t any good in bed. She was beautiful, but we had too many arguments.

Johnny:
That’s too bad. My Lisa is great when I can get it.

Mark:
Oh, man, I just can’t figure women out. Sometimes they’re just too smart, sometimes they’re just flat-out stupid, other times they’re just evil.

Johnny:
It seems to me like you’re the expert, Mark!

Mark:
No. Definitely not an expert, Johnny.

Johnny:
What’s bothering you, Mark?

Mark:
Nothing, man.

Johnny:
Do you, do you have some secrets? Why don’t you tell me?

Mark:
Forget it! Forget it, dude!

Johnny:
Is there some secret, tell me.

Mark:
No, forget it, I’ll talk to you later!

Mark hands off the football to Johnny and exits.

Johnny:
Well, whatever.

Denny enters, passing Mark.

Denny:
Hey Johnny.

Johnny:
Oh hi, Denny.

Denny:
What’s wrong with Mark?

Johnny:
He’s cranky today. A-ha-ha-ha. Girl trouble, I guess. What’s new with you?

Denny:
Not much. Still going to the movie tonight?

Johnny:
Sure, we are.

Denny:
What kind of movie are we going to see?

Johnny:
Well we’ll see… Denny, don’t plan too much. It may not come out right.

Denny:
Alright. Let’s toss the ball around.

Johnny:
Okay.

They proceed to play short-distance catch with the football while talking.

Denny:
Gotta tell you about something.

Johnny:
Shoot, Denny.

Denny:
It’s about Lisa.

Johnny:
Go on.

Denny:
She’s beautiful. She looks great in a red dress. I think I’m in love with her.

Johnny:
Go on.

Denny:
I know she doesn’t like me because sometimes she’s mean to me, but sometimes when I’m around her, I feel like I want to kiss her and tell her I love her. I don’t know. I’m just confused.

Johnny:
Denny, don’t worry about that. Lisa loves you too. As a person, as a human being, as a friend. You know people don’t have to say it. They can feel it.

Denny:
What do you mean?

Johnny:
You can love someone deep inside your heart, and there is nothing wrong with it. If a lot of people loved each other, the world would be a better place to live.

Denny:
Lisa’s your future wife!

Johnny:
Denny, don’t worry about it. You are part of our family, and we love you very much. And we will help you anytime. And Lisa loves you too. As a friend. You are sort of like her son.

Denny:
You mean you’re not upset with me?

Johnny:
No, because I trust you and I trust Lisa. What about Elizabeth, hunh?

Denny:
Well… I love her.

Johnny:
M-hm.

Denny:
When I graduate from college, get a good job, I want to marry her and have kids with her.

Johnny:
That’s the idea.

Denny:
You’re right. Thanks for paying my tuition.

Johnny:
You’re very welcome, Denny, and keep in mind, if you have any problems, talk to me, and I will help you.

Denny:
Awesome. Thanks, Johnny.

Johnny:
Let’s go eat, hunh? Come on, let’s go. Let’s go. I’m starving.

They exit.

Cut to an exterior panning shot of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Cut to the room, where Michelle and Lisa are talking. Lisa’s neck is bulging throughout this scene, which means very few people have ever heard the dialogue.

Michelle:
So how’s Johnny?

Lisa:
He didn’t get his promotion.

Michelle:
Is he disappointed?

Lisa:
Quite a bit. He got drunk last night. And he hit me.

Michelle:
He hit you?!

Lisa:
He didn’t know what he was doing.

Michelle:
Are you okay?

Lisa:
Well, I don’t want to marry him anymore.

Michelle:
What?!

Lisa:
Johnny’s okay. But I found somebody else.

Michelle:
Lisa! This isn’t right. You’re living with one guy and you’re sleeping with another guy?

Lisa:
I’m doing what I want to do.

Michelle:
Well who is he?

Lisa:
His best friend. And he lives in this building.

Michelle:
I can’t believe you’re telling me this. It’s Mark, isn’t it? Lisa, you know, you’re just thinking about yourself. Somebody’s going to get hurt. You’ve got to be honest with Johnny.

Lisa:
I can’t do that. He would be devastated.

Michelle:
Well, if you care so much for him, why cheat on him?

Lisa:
Look, I really don’t know what to do. I love Mark. I don’t have any more feelings for Johnny.

Michelle:
Johnny’s so excited about this wedding.

Lisa:
I know.

Michelle:
You’ve got to tell Johnny.

Lisa:
No guilt-trips.

Michelle:
You don’t feel guilty about this at all.

Lisa:
No. I’m happy.

Michelle:
Something awful is going to happen.

Lisa:
Please don’t tell anybody.

Cut to exterior shot of the house. Johnny is approaching. He picks up the paper.

Cut to the room.

Michelle:
Don’t worry. You can trust me. Your secret is safe with me.

Johnny enters.

Johnny:
Hello Michelle. I heard you. What secret?

Lisa:
It’s between us women.

Michelle:
Hi Johnny.

Johnny:
Did you get a new dress?

Michelle:
Um… well, I guess I better be going. I’ll just talk to you guys later?

Lisa:
Excuse me.

Michelle:
Lisa, remember what I told you.

Michelle exits.

Johnny:
What’s she talking about?

Lisa:
It’s girl talk. I just told you that.

Johnny:
I never hit you. You shouldn’t have any secrets from me. I’m your future husband.

Lisa:
You sure about that? Maybe I’ll change my mind.

Johnny:
Don’t talk like that. What do you mean?

Lisa:
What do you think? Women change their minds all the time.

Johnny:
A-ha-ha-ha. You must be kidding, aren’t you?

Lisa:
Look, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m going to go upstairs, and wash up, and go to bed.

Johnny:
(shoving Lisa down onto the couch) How dare you talk to me like that! You should tell me everything!

Lisa:
I can’t talk right now.

Johnny:
Why Lisa, why Lisa, please talk to me, please! You’re part of my life, you are everything, I could not go on without you, Lisa.

Lisa:
You’re scaring me.

Johnny:
You’re lying, I never hit you. You are tearing me apart, Lisa!

Lisa:
Why are you so hysterical?!

Johnny:
Do you understand life? Do you?

Lisa gets up and heads upstairs.

Lisa:
Don’t worry about it. Everything will be alright.

Johnny:
You drive me crazy.

Lisa:
Goodnight, Johnny.

Johnny:
Don’t worry about it. I still love you. Goodnight, Lisa.

Cut to a long tracking shot of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Cut to an alleyway, where Mike approaches Johnny.

Mike:
Hey, what’s going on, man?

Johnny:
Oh hi, Mike, what’s new?

Mike:
Um, actually, Johnny, I got, I got a little bit of a tragedy on my hands, yeah. Me and Michelle, we were, we were making out, uh, at your place…

Johnny:
A-ha-ha.

Mike:
…and, uh, Lisa and Claudette sort of, uh, walked in on us in the middle of it. That’s not the end of the story.

Johnny:
Go on, I’m listening.

Mike:
Okay. We’re going at it, and um, I get out of there as fast as possible, you know, I get my pants, I get my shirt, and I get out of there. And then about halfway down the stairs, I realize that I have misplaced, I’ve forgotten something. Um, my underwear.

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