The Rowdy Girls

---

[guitar playing]

(SINGING) Get

comfortable now, people,

and a story I will tell

about a group of women

who were rowdier than hell.

Out there in the rugged west

where men are dumb as dirt,

trying just to stay alive

and keep from getting hurt.

Rowdy girls.

Sit tight and watch the

story of the rowdy girls.

While preparations were

making for his departure,

the Roman ladies take a step,

which was a perfect novelty

in the Republic.

About 20 years before when

Hannibal was ravaging Italy

and when the treasury was

very low, a tribune of people

named Opius had got a law

passed that no woman should

wear above half an ounce

of gold in ornaments,

or wear purple, or

ride in a chariot,

either at Rome or

within a mile of it,

unless she went to assist

at public sacrifice.

The ladies had

conformed themselves

to this law in a time

of general distress,

but they thought it

intolerable to the

under the restraint of

it now when the Republic

abounded with riches.

And they made a great

stir to get it repealed.

The consulship of

the austere Cato

seemed a very improper time

for moving this affair,

but their passion for

finery would brook no delay.

They prevailed with Valerius and

Fendanias, two of the tribunes,

to present their request

to the comeechia.

And contrary to custom,

ran thither themselves.

Neither the orders

of their husbands,

nor the rules of decency,

nor public authority

could keep them at home.

But there is no mischief of

which that sex is not capable

if you allow them to hold

amongst themselves assemblies,

private parties, and gossipings.

[guitar playing]

(SINGING) This yarn

spins back to 1886,

where we meet a desperate

woman tired of turning tricks.

She'd do most anything to make

a break from that bordello

and head out west to find

herself a decent fellow.

Velvet was raised

inside a house where

the beds creaked till dawn.

But her mama gave

her hope and pride

that kept her spirit strong.

Rowdy girls.

The rough and tumble

story of the rowdy girls.

[knock on door]

VELVET:
Go away.

I'm sending another one up.

VELVET:
No, you're not.

Velvet.

Now you know you

can't keep doing this.

You know you're Monsieur

Walkins' favorite.

Well, tell Mr. Walkins

that I'm under the curse.

Now move on.

I can't just go

down there and--

I said move on!

[guitar playing]

(SINGING) Now the meanest

girl around could put you 6

feet underground

or any other man

or woman who provokes her will.

When Billy Poke led the gang,

they all were doomed to hang.

But Mick was meaner still,

and she always shot to kill.

Rowdy girl.

Rowdy girls.

Oh, Mick, you know

what that does to me.

Yeah, Billy, I do.

[barking]

Oh yeah.

I am the Brahma bull.

[howling]

Oh, come on, Mick.

You know I hate

when you do that.

Come on, Billy.

You know you need the practice

to be a famous outlaw and all.

Reflexes.

See?

Take it.

[barking]

Why don't you come

on over here, Billy.

See what a real

woman tastes like.

Come on.

Yes.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

[screaming]

[glass shattering]

You're one hell

of a woman, Mick.

You could say that again.

Don't forget.

I'm Billy Poke.

You certainly did.

[grumble]

[guitar playing]

(SINGING) Sarah was arranged

to wed a Texan Calahan.

But her heart was crying out

for the San Francisco Bay.

So she begged her beau, Rory,

to take her there by hand

and left a tear-stained

note for dear old dad.

SARAH (VOICEOVER): Dear

Father, I am sorry to leave

without saying goodbye.

I cannot marry Mr. Calahan

as you have arranged.

My intention is to

go to San Francisco.

I know you don't approve of

Rory, but he is a good man.

I know he will take care of me.

Your dearest daughter, Sarah.

Tell me about San

Francisco again.

Do the ladies really

stay out all night there?

Don't worry, Sarah.

You know I'll send for you.

Well, if you love me,

you'll take me with you now.

If you don't, I'll have

to marry some old goat

I don't even know.

No, I can't.

I got business to attend to.

Now you know that.

I didn't want to

go with you anyway.

I'll get to San

Francisco by myself.

[knock on door]

Hey.

Come on.

Hey.

It went just like you

said it was gonna go.

Hand me the keys.

I didn't lose them.

OK.

Did anybody see you?

Hell no.

And it was a hell of a

lot easier than storming

in there in broad daylight.

-Let me see the money.

It's all there.

We're rich.

You done good, Cole.

Oh, I'm telling you, honey.

It was so easy.

I slipped the keys in, and

the safe opened right up

just like you said it would.

No guards, no nothing.

Velvet, I love you.

Take off your clothes.

Honey.

You almost as smart as me.

Now you know how excited

bank robbing gets me.

I want to teach

you something new.

All right now.

You catch your breath.

Tell me everything

that happened, OK?

I went inside.

Mm-hmm.

There was nobody there.

Yeah?

Shut the door.

Place was all dark.

Keep talking, honey.

I crawled on my

belly to the back.

I put the two keys in the safe.

That's a little tight.

VELVET:
Sorry.

Safe opened right up.

There was the money,

just sitting there,

waiting for me to take it.

Are you sure you

closed the safe?

Yeah, yeah.

I locked it.

And nobody saw

you on the street?

No.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I done told you.

Tell me you're my girl.

Tell me.

I ain't your girl, Cole.

I ain't nobody's girl.

I told you that.

[muffled shouting]

You know why I ain't

your girl, Cole?

'Cause you're stupid.

Maybe someday, I'll

be somebody's girl.

I don't know who.

Sure ain't gonna be you.

Had so many men, I

can't remember them all.

But I gotta tell you,

out of all of them,

damn, you're the worst.

[muffled shouting]

Now settle down, Cole.

I'm taking all my

money, do you hear me?

I love you, Velvet.

Damn, Cole.

Now see, this is what

I'm talking about.

That's so stupid.

How many times do I have

to tell you to think ahead?

But I love you, Velvet.

And you hurt me real bad.

No.

I don't have time for this.

Now Sweetwater is a friendly

and fairly quiet old town.

Though some of the

husbands around here

wish that Joe Pepper would

tame that friendliness down.

The Pepper Brothers,

Joe and Sam,

well, they're Sweetwater law.

But Sam's doing all the

work while Joe fools around

back there behind the stalls.

That's just boredom

talking though.

Someday, he'll learn

to fight against hate.

Hopefully, for Sam's sake,

it doesn't happen too late.

MRS. WHEELER:
Oh yeah.

Mrs. Wheeler.

Joe.

Sam.

No, no, no.

No, Sam, this isn't

what it looks like.

Uh-uh.

Look, I-- I was just helping

Mrs. Wheeler find her--

SAM:
Don't explain to

me, little brother.

Tell Mr. Wheeler when he gets

here in about five minutes.

Five minutes?

Oh my god.

Joe.

Sam.

I swear, Joe, you're

gonna get one of us

killed if you don't learn

how to keep them britches up.

You've seen enough.

Damn it, Billy.

You almost poked my eye out.

Mick, am I right?

It's the perfect

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