The Rum Diary Page #3

it's my intention

to keep you on

horoscopes and rewrites

and bowling alleys?

(CHUCKLES)

Matter of fact,

I'm gonna move you

right now.

Take a cab to the airport.

The mayor of Miami's coming in.

Make him sound nice.

I want a picture

and an interview.

Make it work, Paul.

(WOMAN SPEAKING

INDISTINCTLY ON PA)

You leaving us already?

I'm moving into

an apartment if this

mayor guy ever shows up.

They keep changing

"delayed" to "delayed."

You want to have

some breakfast?

Little lobster on the beach?

Twenty minutes away.

Sounds inviting,

but I got to wait

for the mayor.

Isn't coming.

Canceled.

That's not what it

says on the board.

Lt will in a minute.

I just called Miami.

Come on, let's have

some breakfast.

I got a couple things

might interest you.

I better call in.

You can call from the car.

All right.

Yeah, thanks.

There's only

two of those

on the island.

Maybe three.

No one told me it

was so pretty here.

God's idea of money.

You know what makes

this place a gold mine?

Something that doesn't exist.

How's that?

Land.

There isn't enough of it.

Those who know how to

get it get the gold.

Chenault?

Paul's joining us

for breakfast.

Looks like

it's gonna be

a lunch.

This is Chenault.

You two know each other?

I don't know,

I thought maybe

we met on the plane.

Oh, I don't think so.

I flew Boyfriend Airlines.

Tell me, do you

like lobster, Paul?

You know what,

I might not have

time today.

I didn't realize the drive

was gonna take so long.

How much time you got?

In 1 5 minutes, I'm late.

I'll cut up a pineapple.

SANDERSON:
You might want

to put on some clothes.

She sunbathes in the nude.

A few of

the over-tanned locals

tend to treat it

as a tourist attraction.

Doesn't surprise me.

I mean that in a...

In a very tasteful way.

It's a private beach.

They shouldn't be here.

Sit down, Paul, sit down.

We'll grab you a cab.

(CHUCKLES) His name's Harry.

Got the idea from a book.

Paul, I wanted to talk,

because I'm looking

for someone who can

assimilate contradictory

points of view

and make them into one voice.

You're a novelist, right?

Who told you that?

Oh, please.

Newspapers are

full of gossip.

I'm looking for someone

who's good with words,

next day, you turn up.

And 'cause I believe

in good luck,

I thought maybe you were it.

What I need

is someone with

the right kind of eyes.

For looking at what?

Looking at that.

An ocean of money.

(DOG BARKING)

Hey, you made it.

Door at the end.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Just give me

two minutes.

Walk right in.

All right.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING QUIETLY)

(ROOSTER CLUCKS)

(CROWS)

(CLUCKING)

I was trying to

get the place shipshape

before you arrived.

Adolf Hitler Speaks?

Not mine.

Nazi stuff belongs

to Moburg.

Moburg lives here?

He keeps his uniform here.

I never see him

from one month's end

to the next.

So, you can see,

it's quite spacious.

Don't look in the kitchen.

The water's off.

There's a problem

with the valve.

Thought you said you had a TV.

I said I kind of have a TV.

The guy across the alley

has a TV,

I have binoculars.

His wife's deaf.

With the window open,

you hear every word.

Oh, here it comes.

Water's coming up.

I, uh, noticed

you had some chickens

in the bedroom.

Cockerels.

Yeah, I'm sweating

the grease out.

Don't worry about them,

I'm moving them to my room.

What do you do with them?

You eat them?

Eat them?

Nah.

I don't eat them.

(ALL SHOUTING)

Come on, baby, come on!

Get in there, get in there!

Come on!

(CHEERING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Hey, on a trade wind,

my boy!

On a trade wind!

Come on, bump it up,

there, Bobby.

Bump, bump,

bump, bump.

Yes, sir!

(CLUCKING)

(CAMERA CLICKS)

(MEN CHATTERING IN SPANISH)

Hey. They call him

El Monstruo.

Say he's never lost

a fight in three years.

Come on, we're out of here.

Come on, rapido, rapido.

(KIDS CHATTERING IN SPANISH)

Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Come on.

Come on.

Go on.

(KIDS CHATTERING IN SPANISH)

(COINS CLINKING)

(KIDS CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

I tell you, we were

on a roll till that

thing turned up.

That's $21 7.

Not bad.

$21 7 is a shitload of money.

Relatively a shitload.

They're expensive to train.

I've seen guys win 2,000,

ten on North Beach.

Why didn't he take

El Monstruo down there?

You're talking

the environs of

the Hilton Hotel.

They wear bowties

and shiny shoes.

There's no hope for

his kind of hat.

The question, again,

is not one of goals.

We're for those goals.

It's one of means.

MAN:
Were you claiming

that the Eisenhower

administration...

How long can

this blizzard of shame

go on?

Look at this ingrate

besotted with

his own righteousness.

Black is a very dark

shade of white.

Well, thank you

very much, Mr. Nixon.

I can't listen to

any more of this.

Lies like he breathes.

Imagine spending

your entire life lying.

Holy Christ.

Never got worse.

The only eventuality

worse than him is

you know that one day,

some filthy whore-beast

is gonna show up,

make him look like a liberal.

The only upside

with Nixon is

he ain't gonna win.

He's got the grin.

He ain't gonna win.

Irish guy's going to win.

But they'll never let him live.

How do you know that?

I do "horror-scopes."

(DOOR OPENS)

Thought you said

he never came here.

He's got filters.

What filters?

He goes over the wall

at the Barcardi plant.

These filters

are the last in line in

the distillation process.

They contain more ethanol

than rocket fuel.

What's it like?

A hand on the brain.

Off the scale.

No such thing

as 470 proof alcohol.

Certainty you might be

required to moderate.

Ah.

No smoking

in the extraction area,

if you please.

Don't be ridiculous.

Not for the social drinker.

You want to quaff?

No.

Not right now.

I got to write.

I got a deadline.

Oh, what's he writing?

He's lifting the stone

on the American Dream.

Guayanilla Bay.

Oh, yeah.

It's bad down there.

You might find such

a topic attracts

a limited readership.

Only need one.

Taking it to Lotterman.

Yeah. Oh, did

I hear somebody

say "good luck"?

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, I went down

there this morning,

he unfired me

on a temporary basis,

maggot that he is.

I'd like to

bring something in

to Lotterman.

Like a slide-action,

"f*** you" gun.

Don't drink that here.

(GROANS)

Just a nipperoo, old boy.

Quality test.

Man, slow-motion murder,

just like they do

in the movies.

See him flying back,

f***in' arms

flapping in the air.

Okay, mother.

Look upon the last

face you'll see

this side of hell!

Bam!

(LAUGHS)

Down he goes,

morsels of

vital organs

spinning off into flesh orbit.

Bam!

There goes his a**hole.

Bam!

There goes his dick.

Bam! Bam!

F*** you, Lotterman!

You're in a B-f***ing movie,

and I am the death machine!

Shall we have some Adolf?

Definitely not.

On your way,

on your way,

Moburg.

Hey, we're expecting guests.

I thought you said

he was writing a book.

Said I was writing an essay.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes