The Rum Diary Page #5

Can't tell you.

Not yet.

Discretion is paramount,

Mr. Kemp.

If you want to join us,

you'll have to

sign some papers.

We're having a meeting

tomorrow in Hal's office.

If you want to be

part of what will be

a very exciting project,

come along.

There's a man outside

in a funny little car

for Paul.

Oh, yeah.

Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me.

I have to run.

Can't stay?

I hear the mermaids

come out in the moonlight.

(TUNING RADIO)

From the moment we met, I knew

there was going to be

something between us.

It's called her fianc.

God, I'm so hopelessly

and progressively in love.

Do not confuse love with lust,

nor drunkenness with judgment.

(ROOSTER CLUCKING)

You want my advice?

No. If it involves her,

no, I don't.

Stay away from her.

And stay away from Sanderson.

You're way out of depth.

I got no brief for Sanderson

or his pissy rip-off island.

I just want some

apple blossom lipstick

and fucks.

You are in total denial.

She's f***ing someone else.

Oh!

And as I understand it,

about to be married to him.

La-la-la-la-la-la!

You won't even make an invite.

(TIRES SCREECH)

I don't believe this.

We're right back

where we started.

That is the same

Cabrones we passed

ten minutes ago.

(HORN HONKING)

We need directions.

Let's get in there and

get something to eat.

(GASPS)

(HOARSELY) No.

Please, no.

I haven't spent

all day on a beach

munching lobster

with criminals,

and I'm starving.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING QUIETLY)

(VOLARE PLAYING)

Two beers, two rums, one steak.

The kitchen is closed.

All right then,

two beers and two rums.

And one steak.

Cerrado, Mister...

Yeah, but let's not

bother me with that.

You got a sign down there

saying, "Food till midnight,"

and I want a steak.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Girl of the swamp.

Which reminds me,

we need a map.

You know what I think?

I think we're drinking

too much rum.

There's no other way.

I'm getting double ashtray

and double salt pot.

(CHUCKLES)

You got a Moburg bifocal.

Christ, this is heinous.

Imagine what it must be like

to be an alcoholic.

$2.

You pay and you go.

I don't see a steak.

No steak.

What do you mean, no steak?

I think he means no steak.

The kitchen is closed.

I got no way of serving you.

Listen, you don't want

to hear about my bad day,

and I don't want

no grave side out of you.

If you can't cook it,

bring it like it is.

I'll eat it raw.

Two dollars, you pay and go.

Don't bother me.

You pay now,

or I call the cops.

If you have no intention

of serving me steak,

why don't you do

your best to f*** off.

(MEN SPEAKING SPANISH)

lt seems to me there's

a bad vibe developing.

There are one or two oddities

giving us the eye.

Don't get paranoid.

He's on the phone.

For what?

Ordering food in a restaurant?

Let's hope

he's through to the FBI.

Si, la policia?

What's the matter?

What are you smiling at?

I'm not smiling.

I'm maintaining a casual face.

(MEN SPEAKING SPANISH)

A man just walked in

and has good reason

for regarding us

in a negative light.

Us?

Me.

And he's just seen me.

And he wants revenge

on the white man.

The f*** are you talking about?

How about the one

with the dent?

The one with the eye?

The very same.

Do we walk or run?

Walk.

I'll push the car.

Let's walk and hope he's happy.

(MEN SPEAKING SPANISH)

Hey, Yankee.

Yankee!

(SHOUTING IN SPANISH)

Don't let me see headlights.

Please don't let me

see headlights.

I just seen headlights.

Put your foot down.

Where exactly do

you think I got it?

(MEN SHOUTING)

Can you go faster?

Going fast as I can.

(MEN SHOUTING IN SPANISH)

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(SHOUTS IN SPANISH)

(SHOUTING IN SPANISH)

KEMP:

Jesus Christ, man.

(ROOSTER CLUCKING)

(SHOUTS IN SPANISH)

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(CLUCKING)

We're gonna be killed!

We're gonna be killed!

Hey!

Get ready to run.

Run in opposite directions.

Give me the brew!

Give me the f***ing brew!

(SCREAMS)

(SIRENS APPROACHING)

Paul!

(PEOPLE SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

(MEN MURMURING)

Piece of luck.

I just saw Moburg.

At least I think he saw us.

(MAN SHOUTS IN SPANISH)

They got some kind of

night court going.

(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

He says we were animals

on a rampage

of drunken anarchy,

poured gasoline

on one of his cops.

(GROANING)

(GAVEL BANGING)

(MAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH)

(SHOUTS IN SPANISH)

Oh, my God, we're doomed.

You have something to say?

Yes, Your Honor, I do.

Firstly, this guy

handcuffed to me,

I never seen in my life.

And second,

we'd like a translation

of the charges.

You heard what they said?

With respect,

I heard people

speaking Spanish.

What kind of language

do you think we speak

in this country, Mister?

(VOMIT SPLATTERING)

(GROANING)

He's not with us.

The cops attached him

to get a conviction.

Did you leave

the Cafe Cabrones

without paying?

Did you set fire

to the police officer,

yes or no?

Unfortunately, Your Honor,

he got in the way

of our flame.

That's right.

No way did we pour

gasoline on his head

and laugh as we did.

(LAUGHS)

lt wasn't like he said.

Like he said?

Like you say

you don't speak Spanish.

Mr. Kemp doesn't

speak Spanish.

JUDGE:
Well, he will

have plenty of

opportunity to learn.

The charges against you

are grave.

Resisting arrest

carries a tariff alone

of one year in prison.

Never mind assault

with a deadly weapon.

I'm going to refer this case

to a higher court.

Meanwhile, I remand you both

in custody for 30 days.

(MAN CLEARS THROAT)

(SANDERSON SPEAKING SPANISH)

If I may, Your Honor.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Go ahead, Mr. Sanderson.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Lt isn't my purpose

to interrupt proceedings,

but if the intention

is to remand

these gentlemen,

I would respectfully ask

for a brief recess

to allow me

to contact

their counsel.

JUDGE:
Who is who?

Alfredo Quinones.

Lt would necessitate

getting him out of bed,

of course.

But given the importance

of these gentlemen to

various interests,

I'm sure that he would

be as pleased as I

to come down here

at 3:
00 in the morning.

How much did we cost him?

About $1,000 apiece.

(ENGINE STARTS)

I can't thank you enough.

Don't be late.

(GROANING)

(GRUNTS)

(GULPING)

SALA:

Mother of balls!

We got to rescue the car.

Not now.

We'll do it later.

I've got a meeting.

We do not have later.

They've already

had it 1 2 hours.

I know how these bastards work.

They can strip a train

to axles in 1 2 minutes.

We'll be lucky

to find an oil spot.

How long is this gonna take?

How would I know?

I can't be late.

I don't know

why you're going at all.

That guy is bad company.

He's a manipulative prick.

He manipulated us

out of jail, didn't he?

Now he f***ing owns us.

I got a tongue like...

Like a towel.

Want a beer?

Do I want a beer?

No, I do not.

I am never gonna

touch alcohol again.

What fresh hell is this?

Front seat's gone.

That's a write-off.

Isn't it?

(PANilNG)

You know what,

I've got a brilliant idea.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes