The Salton Sea Page #9

Pooh-Bear working the remote control device.

POOH-BEAR (cont'd)

Zapruder?

A GUY filming the whole thing with a super-8 camera.

GRAINY SUPER 8 FOOTAGE: the pigeons continue along, their stupid eyes

glazed with confusion.

ZAPRUDER:

Ready.

POOH-BEAR

Oswald?

ANOTHER GUY sighting a scoped pellet gun.

OSWALD:

Roger that.

POOH-BEAR

Grassy knoll?

A THIRD GUY aiming a pellet gun further down and to the right of

"Oswald".

GRASSY KNOLL:

Ready

POOH-BEAR

Third shooter?

THE THIRD SHOOTER is also armed with a pellet gun

THIRD SHOOTER:

It's a go.

Pooh-Bear watches anxiously.

POOH-BEAR

President Kennedy waving to the

crowd, his lovely wife looking

radiant beside him as they turn into

Dealey Plaza ...

GRAINY FOOTAGE:
the car making a turn, the pigeons oblivious.

POOH-BEAR (cont'd)

Stand by, gentlemen. Stand by ...

(beat, eyes widening)

Steady .... steady ... FIRE!

The three men open up simultaneously.

GRAINY FOOTAGE:
a mass of feathers flying as the pigeons are hit.

Pooh-Bear pumps his fist.

POOH-BEAR (cont'd)

Yes! Yes!

(beat)

Out! That's a wrap. Good job, boys. Good job.

The car continues rolling past the feet of ...

... Danny and Jimmy, who have been watching the whole thing from the

periphery

POOH-BEAR (cont'd)

(to Danny and Jimmy)

So? What do you think?

DANNY/JIMMY

(ad-libbing)

- Cool.

- Yeah. Interesting.

Pooh-Bear takes the camera from "Zapruder".

POOH-BEAR

(holding up the camera)

I'm gonna get this developed and send

it to the Warren Commission.

DANNY:

Um, I think the Warren Commission has

been closed for a while.

POOH-BEAR

No sh*t?

(thinking)

F*** it. I'll send it to Oliver Stone then.

He'll get them to reopen the bastard.

OSWALD (O.S.)

Pooh-Bear! We got a problem.

Oswald is standing over the car, prodding one of the pigeons with his

pellet gun.

OSWALD (cont'd)

J.F.K.'s still alive.

(beat)

Should I finish him off?

INT. POOH-BEARS HOUSE - DAY

Pooh-Bear and Danny alone in the kitchen.

POOH-BEAR

So, Danny, Jimmy tells me you have a

proposition for me.

Pooh-Bear picks at a plate of SCRAMBLED EGGS on his lap.

DANNY:

Yeah, I uh, have a buyer who's

looking for about a quarter's worth.

POOH-BEAR

Crank or glass?

DANNY:

The good stuff. Can you handle that?

Pooh-Bear chews his food and nods.

POOH-BEAR

I'm sorry. Would you like a taste?

DANNY:

No, I'm good.

POOH-BEAR

I insist. It's delicious. Just a taste.

Not wanting to offend him, Danny concedes. Pooh-Bear shovels some eggs

into Danny's mouth.

DANNY:

Not bad.

POOH-BEAR

Secret recipe.

Pooh-Bear winks and shovels some more down.

DANNY:

Can we talk price?

POOH-BEAR

Make me an offer.

DANNY:

I don't know, 14,000 a kilo?

POOH-BEAR

I deal in U.S. pounds, friend. None

of that f*ggot metric crap for me.

DANNY:

Okay ... How about um .. 6,000 a ounce.

POOH-BEAR

(enthusiastic)

Hey, okay.

Danny looks surprised. It was too easy.

DANNY:

You're serious?

POOH-BEAR

Anything for a dear friend.

DANNY:

But I just met you.

POOH-BEAR

But you're a friend of Jimmy's. I

think of you as a brother already.

Pooh-Bear takes another bite of eggs.

DANNY:

So that's 40 lbs. at 6 a pound then?

POOH-BEAR

If you say so.

DANNY:

Pooh-Bear, I don't mean to be rude,

but I get the feeling you aren't

taking me seriously.

Pooh-Bear puts the plate down.

POOH-BEAR

Maybe you're the one who isn't taking

me seriously.

DANNY:

Why do you say that?

POOH-BEAR

I welcome you here with open arms and

you got the nerve to low-ball me like

some slick used car salesman.

DANNY:

Hey, I was just trying to ...

POOH-BEAR

(never losing his smile)

I want to tell you about the last guy

who tried to jam me up on a deal.

DANNY:

Hey, I don't play that.

POOH-BEAR

I'm sure you don't. At least I'm

sure you think you don't. Anyway, I

want to tell you. It's a good story,

guaranteed to break the ice at a party.

Pooh-Bear leans back, grinning broadly

POOH-BEAR (cont'd)

Dude shorted me eleven dollar ...

thought I wouldn't count it till I

got home. Wrong.

(beat)

You know what I did?

(beat)

I clamped his head in a vice.

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