The Sandlot 2 Page #2

security clearance to get in there.

- In your own garage?

- My dad's workshop.

Grab that sprinkler.

You've got a lot of work to do.

They turned the dugout

into a dollhouse.

- Is that legal?

- Is what legal?

Girls... on a baseball diamond.

- What are you doing here?

- You said that yesterday.

Is that all you know how to say?

Besides, none of your beeswax.

- You're not allowed to be here.

- We have as much right to

play here as you do.

- Play what?

- Baseball.

- Are you taking loony pills?

- What's that supposed to mean?

That's a softball- squishy- for girls.

[ Rustling, Crackling ]

This is a baseball.

What men play with.

- Then what are you doing with one?

- [ Girls Giggle ]

- Well?

- ''Well'' what?

- Leave already.

- No.

Look, doll,

this is a baseball diamond.

We come here to play

a serious game of baseball.

You and your friends should go home and play

with your Barbies before you get hurt.

- Are you threatening me?

- No, sugar.

He just means if there's a bad hop, you could

get hurt being, like, girls and all.

And you're a male chauvinist pig,

being, like, a boy and all.

That's what my mom calls my dad.

I told you, she's liberated.

Yes, I am, and I can do anything

you can do better.

This is a baseball, same as that.

For the love of Pete, are you deaf?

Sorry, Fingers.

This is not a baseball.

It's a softball.

My three-year-old sister

can hit this grapefruit.

-[ Boys Laugh ]

- With a souvenir Dodger bat.

-[ Laughter Increases ]

- And if you pitch it 60 miles an hour.

- [ Laughing ]

- [ Mock Laughter]

I bet you couldn't hit it.

Say what?

I don't bet trash. I burn it.

- What did you say?

- I'll bet I can strike him out

with three pitches.

If I do, we stay,you leave.

If I don't,you stay, we'll leave.

- You're serious?

- Like Gloria Steinem.

You're on, doll face.

Tarq, get my bat and my helmet.

Mac, what are you doing?

- Getting rid of them.

- You just can't take a bet

like that by yourself, Mac.

- We all get a say.

- And?

- And my mom reads Ms. magazine.

- What the hell is he talking about?

Gloria Steinem writes that magazine.

It's serious women's liberation stuff.

What the hell is he talking about?

I'm just saying, what if

the impossible happened?

Like, somehow, she, like, threw

three pitches, and you didn't, like, hit one.

Are you cracked? She's a girl.

This is baseball. I'm a man.

Listen, she'll toss me

a ball- [ Whimpers ]

I'll tag it four blocks, they'll go home

and all this junk will be over.

Okay? Okay? Okay?

Well?

Now you're talking.

Bring it on, skirt.

- Don't blink.

- [ Scoffs ]

- What the-

- Come on. Pitch it already.

I call time. What the hell was that?

Come on. That's totally illegal.

You can't do that!

[ Laughing ]

- [ All Hiss ]

- You didn't even swing.

Um, I kind of blinked.

Just tell me what happened.

- She smoked you, meathead.

- You didn't even swing.

I heard you the fiirst time, Tarqell.

Swing? He didn't even see it.

- Oh, like you never took a strike before.

- Not like that.

- I've never seen

anything like that before.

- [ Laughs ]

- Oh, my God, Hayley. They are so embarrassed.

- They should be.

How was I supposed to know that

they were a professional softball team?

You go back up there, she'll mow you down

like a summer daisy.

What are you now, a poet?

Sam's pretty sure it's a violation of

the rules to pitch underhand.

- Hey!

- That one is cute.

You can't do that underhand pitch thing.

It's against the rules of baseball.

I'm just tellin' ya.

No, it's not.

There's no rule against it.

- So it's legal and fair.

- [ Giggling ]

Oh. Okay. Thanks.

We are offiicially screwed.

[ Exhales ]

[ Exhales ]

No, we're not.

Excuse me, what are you doing?

Pinch-hitting. It's legal...

- and fair.

- Yeah, totally legal and fair.

Don't worry, guys.

I got it. Go ahead.

- [ Boy ] David's got it. It's over.

- Solid.

- Whoa. Watch it.

- Foul ball.

Foul ball.

Foul ball.

Come on.

Foul ball.

Foul ball.

- Well?

- ''Well'' what?

I'm asking if you want to call the game

on account of it's gonna get dark soon.

- If you're too tired.

- I didn't say I was tired.

- Uh, Hayley?

- What?

- Maybe we should call it.

- [ Scoffs ]

- Until tomorrow, I mean.

- Yeah. David, man,

it's gonna get dark soon.

- It's a safety issue, you know.

- [ Exhales ]

[ Mrs. Goodfairer ]

Hayley, come home. Dinnertime.

- Forfeit! That's a forfeit!

- [ Huffs ]

- [ Woman ] David, time to take your bath.

- It's a draw then.

[ Huffs ]

Hey, David. Your mom

- Shut up, Saul.

- Fine. Tomorrow then. Little baby.

Count on it, spoiled brat.

[ Panting ]

[ Growls ]

- [ Saul ] David, what are you doing?

- [ Tarqell ] Are you okay?

- What was that all about?

- Why are you just sitting here?

Come on. We're wasting time.

Let's go to the sandlot.

- David, we gotta go get Sammy.

- Geez, what's the hurry?

- Why are his panties in a twist?

- How am I supposed to know?

- Payback time, little turd.

- It was an accident.

You wrecked our fiield.

Now your ass is grass.

What? I cleaned it up.

I made it better.

It's true. The sandlot

never looked this good.

- He even dragged the baseline.

- Okay, already, Saul.

If Singleton told you to wreck the fiield,

why'd you clean it up?

Who's Singleton?

Little League team captain. The guy who

told you to mess up the sandlot...

so we'd leave and him and his team

could take it for practice.

Sir, I don't know no Singleton and I don't know

nothing about no Little League...

and I don't play baseball.

- Rockets are my life, sir.

- You ain't one of them?

I don't even know no ''them,'' sir.

- What's your name?

-Jonathan Buckminster Smalls.

Hell of a name.

So,you're friends with them.

- Kind of.

- So you know we've got a situation.

- I guess.

- ''I guess''? Look, Bucky-

-Johnnie.

- Whatever. This is our sandlot,

and we've owned it for, like...

a long time.

Actually, most of us have only lived here for

a couple of years... except David.

Shut up, Tarqell.

Like I said, a long time.

Longer than those girls anyway.

And so-And so-And so-

''And so'' what?

- I don't know.

I'm out of words and stuff.

- This is stupid.

Johnnie, go over there

and tell them to leave.

I don't think they-

- They said you have to leave.

- No.

- They aren't going to leave.

- [ All Huff]

Just tell 'em to leave.

- They really, really need you to leave.

- No.

- They said no.

- [ David ] Tell them to leave.

No.

- They aren't leaving.

- Again.

- No!

- [ Sighs ]

[ Exhales ]

- He's done for, Captain.

- What did they say?

- [ Scoffs ]

- If they were boys, we could beat 'em up.

Well, they ain't and we can't.

I have an idea.

Share.

Share the sandlot. Play together.

- We could do that.

- Are you all cracked?

David, man. You know, like,

they're really good.

Yeah. Really, really good, and we're like

four men short for a team.

- They're girls.

- Yeah, but, so what?

So what? You got us

into this crap-mess, Mac.

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