The Savages Page #3

Two of a kind

for your information

We're two of a kind

Well, there's places.

- What places?

- Like Aunt Gertie.

That's assisted living. I'm not sure

Dad would get into one of those.

Gertie's pretty independent, remember?

She's also rich.

Okay, so I'm gonna call United...

and try to get the first flight out

first thing tomorrow...

get back and see if I can find

a place that'll take him.

What am I gonna do?

You're gonna stay here and hold down

the fort until I find something.

By myself?

Wendy, this is not the time to regress.

I just don't know

if it's something that I can do...

and so I just don't talk.

I don't know how long he'll be gone,

you don't know how long you'll be gone.

And that's just not something

I think I can deal with...

by talking on the phone

every couple weeks.

We can talk more about this

when I get home.

Tomorrow morning.

I'll make sure to call when I get in.

Okay. Bye.

Hey, Wendy? Wen?...

I'm going.

That should take care of the hotel.

Thanks.

- Jon?

- Yeah?

You okay?

Yeah, I'm all right.

I'll talk to you later.

Okay.

Walk up, walk back.

Two step touch.

Tap that left for four.

Grapevine left.

Step touch four times!

Now to the Sunday Puzzle from NPR-News.

And the chance to match wits with fellow

listeners and puzzle master Will Shorts.

- Here it is.

- Oh.

Hello. Hello?

Hello. Who is it?

- Hung up.

- Book Expo was the big...

So, not only do you have a formal

dining room, if you like to entertain...

but you also have an updated kitchen

with granite countertops...

oak cabinets,

brand-new appliances...

and they all convey to the new owner.

And look at this dramatic view...

of the eighth tee

on the Lake West golf course.

How perfect is this?

You're also only

a five-minute stroll from...

When you purchase a home

in Sun City, you're eligible...

recreation centers.

We have eight golf courses...

Sure. We could try maybe 30 days.

No, they're already pre-approved...

so it's not gonna take any time at all.

Okay, I'll see you about 3:00.

- Hello.

- Hi.

Oh, my God, Jon. You are not...

You are not gonna believe this.

I just... I found this stash...

of photographs and stuff

that Dad's kept all these years.

I can't believe it. I'm looking at

the funniest picture of you right now.

- Oh, yeah?

- You have braces.

How come you got braces?

I never got braces.

Ever looked at my teeth?

They're still crooked.

Oh, yeah. How come?

'Cause Dad never paid the bills,

and the orthodontist was so pissed off...

he pulled them out of my mouth

before my teeth were fixed.

So I think I found something.

What?

It's a place with an opening

that can take him right away.

What kind of place?

A... A facility for older people.

In this country,

they call 'em nursing homes.

I thought we were gonna try

assisted living.

They're not gonna take him at

assisted living, Wendy. Let's just be real.

- He's got dementia.

- Well, don't lead with that.

Look, if it's any consolation,

uh, this place...

they don't call it a... a nursing home.

- Well, what do they call it?

- Uh, rehabilitation center.

It's called the Valley View.

That sounds nice.

- Is it?

- It's a nursing home, Wendy.

- Does it smell?

- Yeah, it smells. They all smell.

Look, this place has an empty bed,

they take Medicaid and it's close to my house.

Believe me, once you get inside,

these places are all the same.

- Hello?

- Make sure you have a coat for him when we get there.

He doesn't have any warm clothes.

- Hi, Dad.

- Hiya.

How ya feelin'?

Not bad.

You don't need these, right?

Not your style.

Look like Grandpa Walton.

Okay, just sign and initial at the X's.

And here are your valuables.

New prescription. Medication.

Thank you.

And let me give you these.

They don't really like us to give these away,

but you might need 'em.

Thanks.

Excuse me. Sorry.

I'm sorry.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Okay, Dad.

Thank you.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Can we have your attention?

To properly fasten your seat belts...

- What are you doing?

- Bathroom.

- What?

- Bathroom!

- O... Okay, we need to, um...

- Now!

No, we need to wait for

the nice attendant to come...

Okay. Sure. All right, all right.

I got... I got it.

All right, all right.

There, there, there. All right?

All right, wait. Wait for me,

wait for me, wait for me. All right.

I'm right here.

Okay?

Okay.

All right.

What... What is it, Dad?

- What are these?

- They're Dad's. I couldn't get 'em back on his feet.

They swelled up. I need ten bucks.

- Where is he?

- Inside.

Thank you. Pop the trunk.

- Did you remember the coat?

- Yeah. I can't, uh, leave the car unattended.

I'm sorry.

...the diplomats

were referring to intelligence reports...

that North Korea had loaded booster

rockets onto a launch pad...

and moved fuel tanks to the test site...

in preparation for a possible launch

as early as tomorrow.

We don't usually admit

but I understand

you came a long way.

Isn't that right, Mr. Savage?

- What'd you say?

- You came a long way.

Not too bad.

How about Bingo?

You like Bingo, Mr. Savage?

Every Tuesday and Thursday night.

Don't like it.

That's Winston.

We call him The Mayor.

All right. Here we are.

Have the bathroom and closet there.

You will share that with Mr. Sperry.

These are just the bare essentials,

of course.

But once you move in,

you can fix it up any way you like.

Mr. Sperry, you want to meet

your new neighbor, Mr. Savage?

Hi.

Hi.

All right. Well, I'll leave you alone to, uh,

look around and get yourselves together.

Gonna need you to sign some papers.

- I'll send somebody in to get him ready for bed.

- Okay.

Good evening, sir. I'm Jimmy.

You ready for a good night's sleep? Hmm?

Give me arms up in the air. Up.

Come on.

Like you're under arrest.

Good man.

You ever done time, Mr. Savage?

It's a good idea not to make too big of a thing

when you leave for the first time.

Just go real casual.

No big good-byes.

We don't wanna get him agitated before

he's had time to settle in to his new home.

- All right.

- Thank you.

Don't worry.

We'll take good care of him.

- Is everything okay, Dad?

- Not bad.

All right then. See ya tomorrow.

Good night, Dad.

Hey.

Don't forget to tip the girl

on the way out.

All right.

What's the matter?

He didn't... he didn't

even know where we were taking him.

He still doesn't know.

He doesn't know where he is, Wendy.

We are horrible,

horrible, horrible people.

We are horrible!

Horrible!

Just horrible.

Horrible.

Looks like the Unabomber lives here.

Yeah, well, I've been doing

a lot of research for the book.

The couch is actually pretty comfortable.

Great. Where is it?

Those go over here... actually.

It doesn't look like it, I know...

but there's actually

a system to all this.

Okay.

Jon? What's Zocor?

Is it for depression?

- It's for cholesterol.

- You have high cholesterol?

Yes!

Is this all your nursing home research?

Most of these aren't even open.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes