The Scouting Book for Boys Page #2

No. cashed up last night, though.

Almost wish hadn't.

- What's she going to do without cash?

- She wouldn't take your money.

No, she'll be back.

Yee-ha!

Ladies and gentlemen, rattle

your bedpans and shake your knickers

- ... for the fantastical...

- Here to see your old dad?

- No.

- Oh?

Ladies and gentlemen...

- Have you found her?

- No.

So you're looking here?

I've not seen her about.

...Am a deeply loving man.

No, just...

just wanted to talk to you.

She'll stay away two nights and

come back, thinking she's got us good.

She'd think one night

weren't trying hard enough.

Silly cow's

just doing it for attention.

Come on, Davey.

Come up on stage and join your old dad.

- Come on.

- Up you go, kiddo.

We were just...

wanted to hang outwith you.

- And do what?

- Have a beer.

David! David!

David! David!

- She'll be back, OK?

- We haven't got all night!

Hurry, lad. Get up there.

Put your hands together and show

a bit of appreciation for my lovely son.

You ladies be careful with him.

They don't call him

Billy the Point for nothing.

He'll have your eye out.

Hit it, Joe.

Love my son, ladies and gentlemen.

Since his mum died,

he's given me all need,

a cuddle every night of the week

and a smooch at the weekend.

This one's for you, kid.

Used to wake up with you

In my arms

Your sweet lips

Give me all that need

Look to your daddy, baby.

Your skin's so lovely to me

Come lie down close next to me

Davey

Let me love you...

OK, that's the provisional report

on the system.

We'll file officially in... 14 hours.

Is that a posh way of saying

you won't do it now?

We don't file till 48 hours, Sharon.

You know that.

Besides, she'll probably be home

before you are.

- Couple of hours, tops.

- She's been gone two nights.

And this one,

he never leaves her side.

Nine times out of ten, ten times out

of ten, this is just a runaway.

Will you tell her

know my own daughter?

Not this long. OK? Not this long.

- Is there owt we can do?

- We could make posters, cheap ones.

- Nothing so specific yet.

- Will you shut the f*** up?

- Swearing at me won't help. OK, love?

- Oh, red rag day, is it?

You're supposed to be a professional.

- Come on. Let's go.

- Don't hold me.

- We can make posters, Sharon. OK?

- Yeah, OK.

- David?

- What?

I'm OK.

She was a b*tch right enough.

- Is it a school photo?

- Yeah, about six months ago.

Oh, right.

She looks just like you in it.

You reckon Maureen'll run

a few of these off on the photocopier?

Sure.

Do you want me to run you round?

- Oh, yeah. Would you?

- Yeah.

Lock up, David.

- Good catch.

- OK.

Come on, Steven.

"Rocks And Daggers"

# Oh, the rocks

# They will always hold in the sea

# And erosion can't stop their being

# Oh, no, currents can't defeat them

# And am thankful for the love

# These rocks have always given

# And although this boat is steady now

# One wave can pull me under

# And I'll be stranded out at sea

# And will pray that those rocks

# Will be there for me

# And will pray that those rocks

Will be there for me...

No one followed you?

Cos you're early.

- No.

- We said two days.

- It's barely been a day and a half.

- Almost two.

- We did it. We f***ing did it!

- know we did.

Are these presents?

- For me?

- Yeah.

Mmm.

Just what always wanted.

Champions!

- That is such a gay word.

- Yeah.

F*** it!

Don't it get cold at night?

Cold's cold. don't give a sh*t.

We could make this place better.

We could actually make it really nice.

- It's a cave, David.

- Yeah, but...

Did you buy this from Mum's shop?

- Nicked it, yeah.

- Nicked it? Did you?

Nice one, Davido.

Was counting the hours

till you got here, you know.

That's how knew you were early.

- Couldn't wait to see you.

- Couldn't wait to see you, either.

That makes us snap

which makes us better.

- Yeah, better.

- Too right!

Ow!

- Did she have a fella?

- Who?

- Did she have a fella?

- What?

Sharon.

Look, think it's sleep time, love.

Someone saw her with someone,

kissing her.

- Oh.

- They saw her picture on the poster.

- Did she have a fella?

- Come on, Sharon, work nights!

You couldn't work nights

if they bit you on the ares!

- Did she have a fella, David?

- No. She didn't.

Liar!

ain't going to ask you again.

Did she have one?

My head feels

like a sack of f***ing balls.

Good night.

No.

You'll need to change the number

if you want to keep using it.

Taking it seriously now, aren't you?

Two witnesses.

- People confirmed it. Two.

- This David, is it?

David, I'm Detective Inspector Kertzer,

and I'd love to... chat.

Asked him.

- He knows nothing about some fella.

- OK, David.

Five minutes?

Nothing serious.

Yeah, OK.

Coke? Tea?

As many sugars as you like.

Just a memory aid, OK?

OK.

Now, what I'm trying to do David,

is get as clear a picture of Emily

as can get,

like a portrait of...

OK.

So...

You and Emily.

Very close I've heard,

squeakily close.

- Yeah.

- You'd know if she had a boyfriend.

- Yeah. She didn't.

- OK.

So this is crucial.

Even if she left of her own volition,

it's still abduction

if she went with an older man.

- Do you understand that?

- Yeah.

David,

I've got witnesses that have seen

Emily getting... intimate

with an older man

at Sands nightclub.

- The barman confirmed it.

- She didn't have no one.

- She tell you where she's gone, David?

- No.

Can you think where she might have?

Tried, but...

couldn't think of anywhere.

OK, smashing.

Thanks very much.

That's everything.

I'm sure it's nothing serious, David.

OK? She's probably just

run off to the city.

Anyway, we're going

to up things our end.

If you do think

of where she might have gone...

OK.

Oh, just one more thing.

You two were friends

with the security guard?

Steve? Yeah.

That's great, David.

Thank you.

Right, off you go.

The secret will be to think like them.

What? Think like sheep?

Sheepdogs think like sheep.

That's basically their secret.

Sheepdogs think like sheepdogs.

You want to think like a sheepdog,

you think like a sheepdog.

But me,

I'm gonna think like a sheep.

You can stop looking at me

like a sheepdog for a start.

No. just...

You ready?

To be a sheep? You bet.

Three... two... one... go!

Go that way.

Get that one.

That one on the end.

Get it! Get it!

Get down. Get down!

- Shoo!

- Get down. There's someone coming.

- Chasing sheep?

- No.

Thought saw you chase a sheep.

No, was just mucking around.

Keep at it.

You knob end.

"Just mucking about"?

Knob.

He didn't see anything.

- David, he didn't see anything.

- Maybe. just...

Watch out. Watch out!

- Emily.

- What?

There's a hole in the floor here.

You can see the cave.

Here.

You can see your sleeping bag.

No, it's not.

You can't see sh*t.

Come down here.

You can see it clearly there.

- You can't see anything.

- We've got to get that covered up.

Can you see it? Tell me.

- What's got your knickers in an itch?

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