The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister Page #3

What say you to a carriage drive to...

to sweep our guests in?

At the moment one happens

upon Shibden abruptly with...

no time to luxuriate in anticipation.

It's a house, Anne,

not one of your romantic novels.

It's our ancestral home, Uncle.

We should be... We should be cultivating it

and showing it off to our friends

with...with, well, woodland walks

and waterfalls.

Please, Anne, sit down.

There's something we, erm...

we wish to discuss with you.

What is it?

Er, we've...we've been talking

while you were in Manchester.

Well, your...

your aunt's worried

we haven't done enough to...

encourage suitors your way.

And, as neither of us married,

we're not wise as to what we should do.

You've seemed so lonely of late.

- Perhaps the time is right.

- It's not necessary.

I'm going to be so busy

with all this work on the estate.

Shibden can look after itself, Anne.

Walk in the grounds and you'll see it cannot.

Perhaps if you had a suitor

you wouldn't bother me with these...

woodland walks.

And perhaps if I had a woodland walk

I'd have somewhere to take a suitor.

What is that?

Your so-called progress.

And I'll have none of it.

I shall not be vexed.

I shall, by and by,

have my way with the estate.

But now I know Mariana's heart is mine.

Secluded as I am,

I have the means to happiness.

Oh, damn.

My hand's as cursed as...

I have in mind to create

an index of similes, Uncle.

- Hmm?

- Good ones are often astray

when one needs them.

Er, your turn.

As strong as Hercules.

As licentious as Tiberius.

You do not think it would be useful,

Mr Rawson?

For ladies with nothing better to do, perhaps.

I have plenty to do.

I merely strive for a little self-improvement.

There are more useful improvements

one can make, miss.

Oh, do tell.

Judging by the explosions

we hear coming from your estate

you're engaged in great struggles.

Are you sinking another mine, Mr Rawson?

As many as I can cram in.

The land is choking with coal.

Miss Walker's father, God rest his soul,

sunk a small mine on his estate.

And who manages it now, Miss Walker?

Her brother.

Is it worth your while, Mr Rawson?

It's like digging up money.

The Walkers and I shall be rich.

As rich as Midas.

My mind always turns to you

and the prospect of a safe mooring.

You will not,

you cannot forget

I am your constant,

faithful,

affectionate...

Mr Rawson downstairs for you, miss.

- Christopher Rawson's come to call.

- So I understand.

Has Uncle seen sense about coal mining?

You'd better go and see.

Mr Rawson.

How funny you should come.

I set myself a course of reading on geology

just this morning.

Then I shall leave you two to...

discuss it.

Miss Lister. I hope you're well today.

I am. Thank you.

You look very...healthy.

Sit down, Mr Rawson.

Let's talk coal.

It was your uncle put me in mind to come.

He made me see how beneficial it might be.

Your assets are rich and unexploited.

Glad he's realised it at last.

Our estates join each other.

If they were to become one,

we could be influential around these parts.

I'd leave you all the time you wanted

for your books and similes and such,

your uncle says you've a passion for landscape

gardening which I'm happy to indulge.

- In short, Miss Lister...

- No.

- I've come to ask...

- Please don't.

I've come to ask you to marry me

and join our two noble estates into one.

Mr... Mr Rawson, I, erm...

I thank you for your interest,

but I couldn't possibly say yes.

There is a...certain sentiment

that I don't feel for you.

Love, I suppose.

I couldn't possibly marry without it.

Oh, you sound like a foolish girl.

I'm giving you a chance to grow up

and have a place in society.

And I'm gratefully declining.

You know, I came against my better judgment.

Polite society cannot conceive

of certain practices, Miss Lister,

but I move in other circles

where people point at you,

they call you Gentleman Jack,

they say you like the ladies...

perhaps too much.

They say even worse

in the alehouses after a few.

Well, then you should count yourself lucky

you were spared such a wife.

Presume it's all true, then?

Presume what you wish. Good day.

I myself think there is more to you

than most women.

I don't want a husband.

I appreciate your efforts

in finding me a suitor, I really do,

but you really don't have to bother.

But, child, don't you want a husband

and little ones and...and life about the house?

I want my independence.

I want to keep my name and...

and I want to be a proud Lister

until the day I die.

Like you both.

You are the model of how I wish to live.

Well...as you wish.

I shan't be lonely, Aunt.

I hope to settle with a female companion.

But who?

Someone who suits me.

There will be no fortune hunters,

and the estate will be well cared for.

I trust you,

woodland walks or no woodland walks.

Thank you, Uncle.

Well, I... I suppose a lady will know

what pleases you better than a man.

- Ah, Tib.

- Hello.

All this trouble for me?

Happy birthday, Anne.

This is gift enough having you both here.

Well, open it.

Thank you, Tib.

Oh. I already have it.

Oh, but this one's beautifully bound.

I shall give it to my aunt.

Here's something from me.

I hate to see you all in black.

It's beautiful.

Come to the glass.

Let me put it on.

I'm down the hall, am I?

Mmm.

I'm so glad to have you with me.

Thank your father, Miss Norcliffe.

That's a fine brace of pheasant he sent over.

- We shot them ourselves.

- Oh.

And how is your dear mother these days?

Good.

And your sister?

Yes.

Though!

Mother's looking for a housemaid,

if you know anyone.

It's so difficult to find good people.

Especially for Mother

on account of an experience.

A bad experience that she had when young.

Turned out the housemaid,

who dressed her and rubbed her all over

for two years,

was a man!

It was only on account

of a fistfight with a footman...

that he was discovered!

Is this suitable for the dinner table, Tib?

Oh, sorry, Anne, I forgot

what an innocent you are.

But between you and me,

I think she knew.

I think she enjoyed a good grubbling

with her housemaid

and didn't want to own! (Laughs )

- Don't you think you've had enough?

- What? It's only my second.

To Anne's health and happiness on her birthday.

May this be the year you find

the companion you truly deserve.

- Right!

- Oh, my Lord!

Upstairs!

- Do I get a good night kiss?

- Aunt, Uncle, I can only apologise.

Night night, Auntie.

Night night... Uncle!

Unlike Miss Norcliffe

to let herself down like that.

I can only assume she's unwell.

Have you been connected with Tib recently?

Not since Manchester.

So you have.

Well, I was on my own.

What else was I supposed to do?

- You didn't have much faith in me.

- Now I know how you feel.

But she draws attention to herself.

Drinking hard and sitting

with all the freedom of a man.

Your aunt and uncle will smoke us all

if she's not careful.

No, they've not the nous.

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