The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister Page #4

I don't know why she's behaving like this.

She's jealous. She wants to supplant me

and live with you for herself.

- I haven't told her of our engagement.

- It doesn't matter.

She's making plans of her own

and you've encouraged her.

For us to have any hope of living together,

you must be faithful.

And look on me as your wife.

There's only you.

I don't feel like a kiss tonight.

Don't worry,

I'll catch the afternoon flyer.

Why do you drink so much?

I heard the servants talking. They said

you'd had six or seven glasses before lunch.

I said I'd go.

Leave you with Mariana.

You're still silly over her, aren't you?

Promise me you won't drink so much again.

Promise me you won't

lose yourself to her again.

- I'm sure I don't know what you mean.

- She's not worthy of you.

I'd do anything for you.

Thank you for my book.

I'll see you again soon.

Two kisses. One after the other.

Mariana spoke in the very act.

Can you ever love anyone else?

Have you always kept your journal?.

No.

Not properly.

Not at school. Just too busy.

Flirting with all the girls.

Why am I not surprised?

I was always getting into scrapes with them.

Had I known,

I would never have been introduced.

You knew.

That's why you were introduced.

Will you let me do your hair?

I shall make you pretty as a picture.

- Your hair is looking very fine tonight, Anne.

- Thank you, Aunt.

Why, Uncle James, you've an innocent

countenance but you're a devil at cards!

- It's good to have you here, Mrs Lawton.

- The pleasure's all mine.

- Dear old Shibden. It never changes.

- Mm.

- And how do you like Lawton Hall?.

- A great deal.

It's a grand house. Not as cosy as Shibden,

but very pleasing to the eye.

And can it expect

a son and heir any time soon?

Why...

I don't know.

These things rest with God.

I would like to have a child.

My future's uncertain without one.

But I'm going to look after you.

What will convince you?

My Freddie!

Come to church with me tomorrow.

We can take the sacrament together.

Bind our engagement.

Hm?

I can show you off.

I'll have to catch the morning coach,

remember?

Charles has a hunting party.

- Wants me to make an appearance.

- But I'm sure we had another day.

- It's as hard for me as it is for you.

- Just leave him!

Leave him now. It's...

This could be our life.

It will happen soon enough.

Charles is ailing every day.

I can't bear it.

We are to read a chapter of the

New Testament at the same time every day

until we can be together again.

But, oh, Mariana...

my wife and all I love...

how the waiting gnaws at me.

(Anne ) We were saddened

to hear of your nephew, Mrs Priestley.

Our hearts go out to you all.

Tragic business.

His sister seems besides herself.

It's no surprise.

She's lost a brother

and gained an immense responsibility.

He died intestate.

Everything goes to Miss Walker.

With all the land and properties,

she's now one of the wealthiest

young heiresses in Yorkshire, if not England.

I cannot rest until she's safely married.

I've called the gig round.

It's only us - Uncle's unwell.

So he says.

How do I look?

Like you.

Good.

I'd rather be at a rat hunt at home

than trussed up here at Mrs Priestley's.

- Then why have you come out?

- To make amends with you, of course.

Oh, Tib! We are old friends.

It is all forgotten.

Oh, then one drink will do no harm.

You need not fear.

I am the model of sobriety these days.

I've taken entirely to coursing.

I dream only of horses

and hares and greyhounds...

and you.

Oh, you do flatter me.

Mariana.

Anne.

Tib.

Miss Lister, how splendid to see you again.

Mr Lawton.

I'm indebted to you for taking

such care of Mariana on her recent visit.

Her home is my home.

You, sir, look remarkably well.

Oh, well, thank you.

- That's what having a young wife does for him.

- Indeed.

She keeps the life about me.

Don't you...twinkle?

Enjoy your evening.

How can she bear such a brute?

All for a carriage and a jointure!

Don't be so indelicate, Tib.

I too lost a brother.

So I understand.

I still grieve for him...

but what is the point in giving way?

All the ladies look magnificent.

It is uncommon, Miss Walker...

but the hopes of both our families

rest with us.

Ann, dear, our very own war hero,

Captain Ainsworth wishes to be introduced.

He was decorated at Waterloo.

Captain Ainsworth,

may I present to you Miss Ann Walker.

Hm, Miss Lister,

how goes your masterwork on similes?

Ah, too well to be discussed

with one as boorish as a satyr.

These learned ladies.

No time for us men.

You've got to know your place, sir.

- You mustn't stare so.

- I can't help it.

And the ring?

How can you be so barefaced?

- Would you prefer it if I wasn't here at all?.

- Of course not.

You have to be careful when I'm with Charles.

How long for?

You led me to believe he was decrepit.

- Looks are deceiving.

- But how long?

Now is not the time to speculate.

Can we not do without this whole motley set?

Do you know Rawson

once called me Jack to my face?

Why? What does he know?

Nothing.

Some food, my love.

Am I?

Your love?

How does she love you?

Why, we all love Mariana.

I just wish we saw more of you, dear.

Come and remember me

to your charming sisters.

Forgive me.

The fault is all mine.

Stop it!

- The evening has roused me.

- Stop it, I said! I've promised Mariana.

Promised Mariana?

And what has she promised you...

while she wears herself out

in the service of her husband every night?

I have never disguised the fact

that my heart is hers.

But what has she promised?

To live with you?

That'll never happen.

When Charles dies,

she will be my companion here at Shibden.

That could be 20 years yet.

Has she not galled you enough?

I will not have another word

said against Mariana.

- You're jealous!

- And you're misguided!

Anne...

I know I can be...

Well, you know what I am.

But I love you more than anything.

And I would be your companion now.

All I want...

All I ever, ever wanted is to be with you.

But I do not love you.

Not in the same way.

- So you are still connected with her.

- No, no.

- That would be adultery.

- Liar!

You question my veracity,

we can no longer be friends.

But what kind of friend have you become?

The Anne I used to know

was quite above telling an untruth.

You presume too much.

Must be the drink.

Then I shall bother you no more.

Charles suspects.

He watches me all the time.

I dare not risk him finding your letters,

he would quiz me about the code.

Yet I cannot bring myself to destroy them.

Keep them safe, for both our sakes.

And do not write again until I tell you.

My fancy and my thoughts are sick.

Can I trust her?

Do I waste my life in vain expectation?

Miss, come quick!

Oh!

My darling Mariana,

I write to you as mistress of Shibden.

True to his word,

my uncle has entailed all to me,

and though saddened by his passing,

I cannot help but think of our future.

After all these years, I am now furnished

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