The Secret of My Succe$s Page #2

Everybody likes surprises.

Not Mr. Prescott.

You can leave your name.

Uh, Brantley Foster.

Of?

S-T-E-R.

Of, uh, Kansas.

Of what company?

What do you wanna see

Mr. Prescott about?

About being

his nephew.

Oh. Well, why don't

you have a seat?

I'll see if I can work you

into Mr. Prescott's schedule.

Thank you.

Give Uncle Howard my card.

Are you really

Mr. Prescott's nephew?

In a roundabout

sort of way.

You sons of b*tches

don't have a half a brain

between you!

I'm looking at a $300

million deficit here

because you idiots didn't anticipate

the needs of a changing market!

Uncle Howard?

Now, get out of here,

all of you!

And bring me back some

new ideas that'll work!

Or I'll have your heads

mounted on my wall!

Geez, he's gonna

burst a blood vessel.

Yeah, wishful thinking.

I'll see if

I can get you in now.

Thank you.

It can't be good for

his heart to shout that way.

He doesn't have a heart.

What, Maureen, what?

Brantley Foster

is here to see you.

I don't know any

Brantley Foster.

Your nephew from Kansas. Who?

He says he's your

nephew from Kansas.

Kansas?

I... But, Maureen...

Mr. Prescott

will see you now.

Clever. So you're one

of the Kansas Fosters, huh?

Shirttail relative,

to say the least.

Listen, I know you probably

told your secretary

to get me out of here

in five minutes.

Two.

Right.

So, I'll get right

to the point.

I need a job,

Uncle Howard.

Around here,

I'm Mr. Prescott.

Do you have any idea

what we do here?

Yes, sir. Pemrose is

a multinational conglomerate

with 27 different divisions.

Products ranging from dog food

to guided missile systems.

There are 30,000 people working

in this building alone.

Their accumulated salary is higher

than the gross national product

of half the nations

on the Common Market.

Last year we borrowed more money

from banks than Mexico did.

It's a great company, Uncle... Mr.

Prescott. That's why I'm here.

What can you do

for us, Brantley?

What experience

have you had?

Practically none.

But I believe in myself. Doesn't

that count for something?

Deep inside, I know I can do

anything if I just get a chance.

Think back to

when you were my age.

Remember how you felt when you

went after that first job.

Remember how you wanted it

so badly you couldn't sleep

the night

before the interview.

Remember how crushed

you were when the guy said,

"What kind of experience

have you got?"

You wanted to shake

your fists and say,

"I can do anything if

I can just get a chance."

They're ready for you in the

boardroom, Mr. Presoott.

Call Bates in Personnel. Tell

him I'm sending somebody up.

Well, you're in

the front door, kid.

What you do on this

side of it is up to you.

Congratulations. He really must

have taken a shine to you.

Thanks. Warm guy.

May I?

You can't come in here, bozo.

Take your crap to the mail slot.

I work here.

Just started.

What do you want, an engraved invitation?

Come on, come on.

Brantley, huh?

Yeah.

Somebody gave you

that name?

Aw, Jesus, a college puke.

This really makes my day.

Well, you're welcome.

Melrose, get over here!

Listen to what he says,

then do what he does.

Right.

Stay out of my way. Don't use the

stamp machine for personal letters.

Take off that

stupid-looking tie.

Looks like you

shot your couch.

You got any questions?

Yeah.

What do I call you?

You call me God.

Got a problem, boss?

I'm your man.

Show the college puke the ropes

and keep him out of my face.

His name is Brantley.

All right, kid.

Follow me.

All right, Brantley,

you stick with me

and everything's

gonna be copacetic.

Twice a day you deliver.

Like a mailman, you pick

up whatever's goin' out.

I can do it in 30 minutes. Rattigan

thinks it takes me two hours.

Okay. What's this department?

What do they do here?

Who knows, man?

This place is a zoo.

Nobody knows what

anybody else is doin'.

Can you get promoted

out of the mail room?

You can't even get paroled out of

the mail room. Excuse me, dear.

Good morning.

Nix.

What?

Good morning.

Look, not the suits.

- What do you mean?

- Excuse me, sir.

Good morning. Look,

not the suits, man.

You never consort

with the suits,

unless they consort

with you first.

Wait a minute.

That's ridiculous.

He's a person. I'm a person.

I can't say hello to him?

He's not a person,

he's a suit.

You're mail room.

No consorting. Come on.

We're entering

a sensitive zone.

This guy in that office,

he just got canned.

Mail room knew about it on Friday.

He just found out today.

No kidding.

ls his job still open?

No,man, an economic cutback.

His job was dissolved.

About two dozen suits

got the ax.

Will you quit

trying to consort? Come on.

All right, the

yellow ones go to Purchasing.

All the white ones are a bunch

of suits talkin' to themselves.

You're supposed to deliver

'em, not read 'em.

Some of this stuff

doesn't make any sense.

They send requisitions

through two departments

to get procurements

for a third.

What kind of

thinking is that?

That's suit thinking.

Something happens to a man

when he puts on a necktie.

Cuts off all

the oxygen to his brain.

Hey. What, are you crazy?

You're not supposed to take the

memos out of the mail room.

I can't follow a chain of

command in this company, man.

They got the right title,

but their job assignments

and objectives are screwed...

Look at this. Jesus.

Purchasing. What?

It's a joke. They've got two people

doin' basically the same job.

Neither one of them

is doin' it right.

I'll bring it up at the

next stockholders meeting.

Would you put these things away, huh?

Hey, hey, hey...

Whoa, Melrose.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Listen, we've been gettin' a lot

of requests down in the mail room

for stockholder

information,

company assets,

expenditures.

Anything you can give us.

You're kidding?

Any of this research

you want, you can have.

Take it all.

Thanks very much.

Feelin' all right

It's the same with me too

The season that's taken

a hold of us all

And we're sayin' we do

Just look at our lives

We run through the day

We stare at the night

As you head for the noises

For me, well, it's just

like the Fourth of July

Maybe it's change

or the time of the year

Or is it the way

that you hold me so near

Oh, I swear

it's the price of love

I swear it's the price of love

Now I gaze at the lights

Our hearts show the way

For a moment I swear

it was heaven right there

I'm at war on this day

She's the most incredible-looking

woman I've ever seen in my life.

Man, she's a Rolls-Royce,

but she's also a suit.

What's she like? What

do you know about her?

I know enough never to

consort with the suits, pal.

Even when they do

have legs like hers.

Come on.

You know more than that.

Her name is Christy Wills.

She's supposed to be some

sort of financial wizard.

Harvard, all that crap.

And forget it.

I swear it's the price of love

Price of love

I swear it's the price of love

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