The Secret to a Better Life

Synopsis: A self-help guru finally tells you a Secret you can use.
Genre: Comedy, Short
Director(s): Scotch Wichmann
Year:
2011
5 min
319 Views


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Carlos!

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Carlos!

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Carlos!

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Yo, yo, what's up? Today, like every day,

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we're gonna be showing you

the dopest cribs in the world.

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Check it out.

7

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03:54,667 -- 00:03:56,134

Hey.

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'Sup?

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I'm tired. Go to bed.

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Come on. Go to bed.

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All right, man. I'm leavin'.

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Luis.

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Wake up!

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Ap, I need some money.

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Again? Why?

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I need to buy some stuff for school.

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Since when do you go to school?

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Every day.

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Right.

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How many days have you missed this year?

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I don't know, 18, 19.

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I don't want you to miss school no more.

School's important.

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It's everything.

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S, Professor?

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S, Professor.

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You wanna end up like me?

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No.

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Hey, so can I have the money or what?

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You want money? Come work.

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You used to come with me on Saturdays.

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Well, I had to stop 'cause of soccer.

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You haven't played football in years.

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Well, that's because

that league sucked, man.

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If you need money in this world, Luis,

necesitas trabajar.

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You need to work.

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Get yourself an education.

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You know what? I'm gonna jack an old lady

in the street, all right? I don't care.

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That's not funny.

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Don't even say that.

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You better go to school now.

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Damn!

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Listen, buddy.

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You ain't just buyin' a truck, or a business.

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What you're buyin' is the American Dream.

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I ain't buyin' your truck.

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Fine. If you don't buy her,

someone else will.

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And if I sell her to someone else,

then you're out of a job.

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Back on that corner

where I found you six years ago.

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Beggin' for work with all the other

desperate wetbacks.

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Duckin' La Migra. Not knowing

where your next dollar's gonna come.

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But you buy ol' girl from me,

you keep my tools...

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You keep all my customers...

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...You'll be your own boss.

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Look at me.

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I came here with nothing, but I'm

going home to my very own farm.

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I don't want to go home.

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Please tell him to be careful.

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Don't worry, Mrs. Donnely.

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He does this all the time.

He's a professional.

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Shouldn't you be using one of those

cherry-picker things?

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A cherry picker?

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If I had a cherry picker,

I'd have to charge more.

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Are you insured?

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Mrs. Donnely,

I'm fully insured and bonded. I promise you.

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This is the way we do it in Mexico.

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It's safe. Believe me.

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If it's so safe,

why don't you climb up here, fatty?

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What about you? How much you got?

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You believe that? That fool's locochn.

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I'm gonna hurt that boy.

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Man, what's his name?

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I don't know. Ramon or somethin'.

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Who he down with?

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I don't care who he with.

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Hey!

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Hey, what's up?

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What's up?

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What's up?

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Facu just got taxed

by that big kid over there.

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For real?

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I heard Ramon had some yesca.

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So I went over to him,

confirmed what was what,

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and then I gave him the bolas.

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No, he gave him my bolas.

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And when I asked him for the yesca,

he just told me to step off.

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And you let him get away with that sh*t?

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Hell, no. I wasn't with this fool.

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Yo, Ruthie, what was I gonna do?

Cancel that fool with the judas right there?

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You can't let these b*tches take an inch

or they'll take a mile.

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Come on.

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Yo, my man, you know who I am?

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No. But I want to.

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I'm gonna have you killed. That's who I am.

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Why you wanna kill me for, mija?

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Oh, you ain't believe me?

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Ask anybody who my uncles are.

I'm gonna have you killed.

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What's up then?

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You took my man's money?

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No, I told him I'd hook him up later

when the guards weren't lookin'.

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Lyin' b*tch! You didn't say that.

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I said to hang back till after lunch

until we went inside.

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So, what's up? You want that sh*t or not?

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- No.

- Just give him back his money.

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All right.

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Elisha Shapiro

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Secret to a Better Life" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_secret_to_a_better_life_3957>.

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