The Servant

Excuse me, sir.

My name's Barrett, sir.

Oh, God, of course.

I'm so sorry. I fell asleep.

- We've got an appointment.

- Yes, sir.

- What time?

- Three o'clock, sir.

Well, what time is it now?

Three o'clock, sir.

Oh.

It's too many beers at lunch,

that's what it is.

- Do you drink beer?

- No. No, I don't, sir.

Well, come upstairs.

We can sit down.

I'm just back from Africa.

I'm quite liking it.

- What do you think of the house?

- It's very nice, sir.

Needs a lot done to it, of course.

Damn lucky to get this place, actually.

Little bit of wet rot, but not much.

Sit down.

Thank you, sir.

Sit down.

Well, now, this post...

What's happening is this.

I'll be moving into this house

in about two or three weeks' time.

And I'm all alone at the moment

so I'll be needing

a manservant, you see.

I've seen one or two chaps already.

But they didn't seem

very suitable to me, somehow.

What...?

You've had experience

of this kind of work, have you?

I've been in service

for the last 13 years, sir.

For the last few years I've acted as...

personal manservant

to various members of the peerage.

I was with Viscount Barr

until about five weeks ago.

Oh, Lord Barr?

My father knew him well.

They died within a week of each other,

as a matter of fact.

- So you're free?

- Yes, I am, sir.

- Do you like the work?

- Oh, I do.

I do. I like it very much, sir.

Can you cook?

Well, it's...

If I might put it this way, sir,

cooking is something

I take a great deal of pride in.

Any dish in particular?

Well, my souffls have always received

a great deal of praise in the past.

Do you know anything

about Indian dishes?

- Oh, well, a little.

- Well, I know a hell of a lot.

- You'd have to do all the cooking.

- That would give me great pleasure.

I could have got a housekeeper

to run the kitchen.

But the thought of some old woman

telling me what to do put me off.

Yes, quite, sir.

Now, apart from the cooking...

I'll need...

well...

everything,

general looking-after, you know.

Yes, I do, sir.

- Brazil?

- Yes, in the jungle.

Waiter.

- We've got to clear the jungle first.

- What, just you?

No, no.

It's a giant development and

they're going to build three cities.

- Are they?

- Mm. Gigantic project.

A matter of clearing

hundreds of miles of jungle.

I'll have another bottle.

And by the way, this one's corked.

I'm very sorry, sir.

- You're corked!

- Listen.

You see,

first we have to build the cities.

Then we've got to find the people

to go and live in the cities.

Where are you going to find them?

From Asia Minor.

There are thousands of peasants.

They're having a rough time of it

and this will mean a new life for them.

Anyway, he wants me

to help arrange the whole thing.

It's going to cost millions.

Millions. Fine.

- I'm having lunch with him next week.

- In the jungle?

Either here or in Paris, actually.

Yes, fine.

Anyway, there's no hurry.

I could do with a rest.

I'm sure you could.

No, seriously, Susan.

What do you think of the idea?

Cosy.

Do you want to go there?

Where?

The jungle.

Mm-mm. Not now.

No, not now.

Bachelor.

Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you.

I found a manservant.

A what?

What about the landing, sir?

White.

Well, perhaps a little blue

here and there.

But I think the overall colour

should be white.

Well, mandarin red and fuchsia

is a very chic combination this year.

Not overall, surely?

- No, sir, not overall.

- Just a wall.

Yes, just a wall here and there, sir.

You're very knowledgeable

about decoration.

- It makes all the difference in life.

- What does?

Tasteful and pleasant surroundings.

Now you've said a mouthful.

Now, that's your room.

Here's the bathroom.

Wait a minute. What's that?

Box room.

- always do for a maid, sir.

- Oh, we'll have a cleaning woman.

Do you think we'll need a maid?

Well, they can be useful, sir.

Now, look here.

You mind that paintwork.

Oh!

- Is everything all right?

- Yes, thank you.

Tell me of any problems so we can

correct it before it becomes a fault.

Lunch, sir.

- Green salad.

- Oh, that's nice.

No trouble, sir.

- How are they getting on?

- I'm keeping my eye on them.

Are you?

You might bring me a lager.

I'm just about to, sir.

I'm ready for it.

Sir.

How about that, then?

- OK?

- Yes.

Ah.

This is Barrett, Susan.

Barrett, my fiance, Miss Stewart.

- Hello.

- Evening. Shall I take your coat?

Er, no, I'll keep it on, thanks.

Here.

Do you like it?

Mm.

It's beautiful.

simple and classic

is always best, Miss.

Is this classic?

This isn't classic.

It's prehistoric.

We've always had it

and I like it.

- Barrett, let's have a drink.

- Yes, sir.

Vodka on the rocks.

- And for you the usual, sir?

- Thank you.

Which one do you want?

Oh, this one.

My mother's favourite.

Thank you.

The place needs lightening,

more variety, you know, colour.

Oh, do you think so?

Yes, and tomorrow I'll organise

a spice shelf for the kitchen.

- Would you like to taste the wine?

- Thank you.

- What ducky gloves.

- Barrett's idea.

I like it.

It's Italian, Miss.

They're used in Italy.

Who by?

Excellent.

Just a Beaujolais, sir,

but a good bottler.

- A good what?

- bottler.

- Oh, is this necessary?

- Well, better be safe than sorry, sir.

You're too skinny

to be a nanny, Barrett.

Oh, come on. Don'tsulk.

I didn't mean it.

Oh.

Splendid.

~ Now while I love you alone

~ Now while I love you

~ Can't love without you

~ Must love without you alone...

Any news from your new frontier?

No. No, there isn't, actually.

Well, he had to go over there

and make various arrangements.

Heads of government and all that.

- Heard from him?

- Yes.

I mean, of course, the whole idea

is in a very preliminary stage.

Still, I'm quite happy at the moment.

Aren't you?

Mm.

I can manage for a good few months.

Oh, Barrett has installed

my new abstract in the garden.

Looks very chic.

Go over and see.

~ Must love without you

~ Now while I love you alone

~ Now while I love you

~ Found love without you

~ Must love without you alone

~ Give me my death

~ Close my mouth

~ Give me my breath

~ Close my mouth...

You terrible lazy...

~ Can't love without you

~ Must love without you

~ Now while I love you alone

~ Now while I love you

~ Can't love without you... ~

That mouth.

Why don't you come and stay?

For a weekend, a long weekend.

Or a couple of weeks.

Marry me.

I'm so sorry to disturb you, sir.

I'm sorry.

Doesn't he know enough to knock?

He made a mistake.

Mistake?

Well, for God's sake,

restrict him to quarters.

- Couldn't he live out?

- Out? No, he couldn't.

Well, he doesn't have to be here

after he's washed up the dinner things.

Well, he's got to lock up.

- Well, I think I should go, anyway.

- Well, why?

- I'm just going.

- Oh, this is ridiculous.

- Come home and stay with me.

- Oh, look, stay here.

It's a bit late for you, Barrett.

About time you were tucked up in bed.

All right, Barrett.

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