The Servant Page #2

- I'll drive you back.

- No.

Well, I'll walk along with you, then.

No.

I do apologise for the intrusion, sir.

I had no idea.

Don't do it again.

- I did knock, sir.

- Oh, get to bed.

Have you got an aspirin?

Yes, sir.

I expect you caught a chill

the other day in the rain.

Yes, rain.

The other day.

I'll get the aspirin.

- Would you like a nice hot drink?

- There's no need for that.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- You need some more air.

- Oh, I don't know.

No, you don't.

Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

I completely forgot.

They're beautiful.

Thanks very much.

Every time you open a door

in this house, that man's outside.

- He's a peeping Tom.

- Yes.

He's a vampire too

on his Sundays off!

Why didn't you have them

in your room?

Well, he was saying that they're bad

in a sick room at night.

Come in.

- Your medicine, sir.

- Oh, thank you.

And the post.

What did the doctor say yesterday?

Oh, nothing much, virus.

Put that down.

Oh, put it down, Barrett.

I beg your pardon, sir.

I do wish you'd stop

yapping at Barrett.

It will be a bastard if he leaves.

What the hell would that matter?

What would it matter?

You try and find another like him.

I'm sorry I was rude to your servant.

Look, he may be a servant

but he's still a human being.

I'm afraid

it's not very encouraging, Miss.

The weather forecast.

Oh, there's somebody in already.

Here's the number right here.

Oh, I haven't got any pennies.

'Hello?'

- Bolton 625-45?

- 'Yes.'

Get me Vera.

I'm speaking from London.

'Vee!

'Vera?

'A call for you from London.'

- 'Hello?'

- Vera?

'Yes.'

- Are you ready?

- 'Yeah, I'm ready.'

Hurry up, darling!

All right, then. Tomorrow.

'All right.

I've bought something new.'

- Mm-hm.

- 'I'm wearing it now.

'I'll show you

if you're a good boy.'

- I am.

- Come on.

Get on with it!

- Are you being a good girl?

- 'What?'

Tell her to...

I said, are you being a good girl?

'Yeah, I am.'

I'll be at the station.

- Hurry up!

- You got my last letter?

- 'Oh, yeah. I got that all right.'

- All right, then.

- At the station.

- For heaven's sake!

- Ta-ra.

- 'Bye.'

Oh, here he is.

Get out of the way, you filthy b*tch.

- What?

- Ooh, get him!

Come on.

You've mulled

some delicious claret, Barrett.

I say, that's rather good, isn't it?

Clarety Barrett.

In the army they used

to call me Basher Barrett, sir.

Oh, really? Why?

I was a very good driller.

Ah.

I like the changes

you've made to the house.

- You've been enjoying yourself.

- I have, sir. Thank you very much.

Oh, by the way, sir,

I took the liberty of removing those...

chintz frills of Miss Stewart's

off the dressing table.

Not very practical.

Haven't seen very much

of Miss Stewart recently, have we, sir?

No.

My sister's arriving tomorrow,

as agreed.

Yes, fine.

She's happy

about the arrangement.

We might keep her

if she's any good.

Thank you.

- He's a wonderful wit.

- Terribly funny.

- Terribly.

- Cheers.

Cheers.

I'm dying to see him again.

I haven't seen him for ages.

- You won't for some time.

- Oh, why?

He's in prison.

Hello.

Good morning, Miss Stewart.

- Good morning, sir.

- Good morning.

- Very nice to see you here again.

- Thank you.

I can recommend the roast duck.

Thank you.

And what are you having?

- Are you better?

- Yes, thanks.

I've brought you a present.

- What for?

- Because I wanted to.

- Where the hell are you going?

- Sorry, your Grace.

You're Irish, aren't you, my child?

- Good morning, Bishop.

- Good morning.

Thank you.

- What did she say to you?

- Nothing.

Yes, she did.

She said something to you.

- She didn't, really.

- She did.

I saw her mouth move.

She whispered something to you.

What was it?

- What did she whisper to you?

- She didn't whisper anything to me.

She didn't whisper anything.

Why don't we go away?

For a few days, hm?

Where?

Anywhere.

Agatha and Willie Mountset

have invited us down, actually.

Well, why don't we go there?

Yes, we could, I suppose.

I hear Father O'Flaherty won't be

at the Cork convocation.

Flaherty

Your man wouldn't miss that trip.

You can bet your last pound on that.

Didn't they have

to carry him out last time?

For God's sake,

who didn't they have to carry out?

I just don't like him.

You don't know him.

- Surely you can take my word...

- I don't trust him.

- Why?

- I don't know.

It's the snow.

It's the snow that I love.

Yes, he looks like a fish

with red lips, I'll admit.

But apart from that,

what's the matter with him?

Stop making him so bloody important.

You've got the whole thing

absurdly out of proportion.

Yes, perhaps.

And where are you creeping off to now,

my son?

Nowhere, your Grace, nowhere.

- Nowhere at all.

- Is that a fact?

Why don't you just tell him to go?

You must be mad.

You just don't care about my...

What it amounts to is

it's my judgment you're criticising.

That's not only ridiculous,

it's bloody hurtful.

- They were gorgeous.

- Were they really?

I'm sorry. I'm a fool.

You are.

Well, I mean...

Divine, darling,

but I simply couldn't get them on.

Pity.

Look... I'm sorry.

No.

Well, I wouldn't...

- I shall be late for my appointment.

- Taxi!

140 Berkeley Square.

Barrett?

- Did you call, sir?

- Yes.

Damned awful lunch.

Where were you?

- Get me a brandy.

- Yes, sir.

That's very handsome, sir.

Oh...

Might I introduce

my sister to you, sir?

She's arrived.

She's very excited

at the prospect of being with us.

Oh, is she?

Vera?

Well, I'm absolutely certain

you'll be fascinated by Brazil.

Oh, yes.

I was in the Argentine, of course.

Briefly, as a girl.

I most certainly found

the Argentine fascinating.

It should be very interesting.

Fascinating, Tony darling.

How many cities

are you going to build?

Three.

Yes, it's quite a big development.

- In the jungle?

- Not exactly in the jungle.

No, sir, on the plains.

Oh, but some of the jungle

will have to be cleared, won't it?

Some of the jungle, yes.

A little bit.

That's where the ponchos are,

of course, on the plains.

Ponchos?

South American cowboys.

Are they called ponchos?

They were in my day.

Aren't they those things they wear?

With a hole in the middle

for the head to go through?

What do you mean?

Well, you know,

hanging down in front and behind.

The cowboy.

They're called cloaks, dear.

Oh.

- Good morning, sir.

- Morning.

- Where's Barrett?

- Um... He's...

- He's gone out shopping, sir.

- Oh.

- Anything else, sir?

- No, thank you.

For God's sake, look at this.

That's not much good.

- I beg your pardon, sir.

- Pull your socks up.

Come on, come on.

Give it a good brush.

- If you'd like to take the jacket off.

- No, damn it. Do it on!

- Would you turn around, sir?

- All right. That will have to do.

We heard this morning that

our mother's ill up in Manchester.

Apparently she's been asking for us.

Might be dangerous.

Would you mind if we took a night off,

came back tomorrow, late?

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