The Shaggy D.A. Page #2

What about his charges that you're

derelict in prosecuting criminals?

Typical sensationalism designed

to grab space in the media.

I realize that you ladies and gentlemen

are much too smart to fall for that.

There are refreshments

in the next room.

That's all the questions

Mr. Slade has time for right now.

Thank you, Mr. Slade.

Yeah, Eddie?

I've got it in front of me.

It's nothin' to worry about.

I just don't like these

enthusiastic amateurs.

Will you believe me?

He's gonna fade. He's a lightweight.

I hope you're right.

Haven't I always been so far?

You take care of everything over there,

I'll take care of this end, OK?

[Curator] We come now to

our always popular Borgia exhibit.

You remember that the Borgias

dealt in a most uncompromising way

with their enemies, frequently

lacing their wine with poison,

as we see here

in this charming little dinner party.

[Curator] On occasion,

they resorted to even more

drastic methods of dispatching a victim.

This painting illustrates a legend

that Lucrezia Borgia

once transformed

an unfaithful suitor into a dog.

Excuse me, uh, sir,

but what's this ring

with what looks like

a bug or somethin' on it?

That's a scarab. The ancient Egyptians

employed it often as a talisman.

You'll notice in the painting,

Lucrezia's wearing the same ring.

According to the legend,

her powers of transmutation

stemmed directly from it.

This may or may not be,

but the museum has seen fit

to put further safeguards on it.

The last curator of the museum,

Dr. Plumcott

told me of an incident

you'd find hard to accept

since it defies

scientific explanation.

Is this valuable?

It'd be impossible

to estimate its value.

The ring is priceless.

[Curator] We'd best be moving along if

we're to finish the tour before closing.

- It's a piece of junk.

- Junk? What do you mean, junk?

The curator at the museum

said this was priceless.

And priceless is a lot of loot.

This dame, Lucy "Borgeria,"

used to doll up with this garbage.

- Borgia.

- Her too.

This was one of her prized possessions.

She wore this only on state occasions.

Who am I gonna sell it to?

Another museum?

Diamond rings, emerald rings,

those things I can move.

- Make us an offer, Mr. Roschak.

- A grand. Yeah.

Get outta here.

Anything. We gotta make a livin',

like the next guy.

I told you, there is no market

for beetle rings. Get lost.

Oh, boy. Uh...

Gingerbread Rocky Road slush.

Uh...

Kumquat Bavarian chocolate

with lime mint and, uh...

Don't tell me.

Pine-scented gooseberry.

That's only 43.

You sure?

I was counting.

What'd I leave out?

Don't tell me. I know.

Oh, boy. Uh...

Let's see now.

Avocado surprise.

Well, what'll it be?

Vanilla.

Vanilla.

I run through 44 flavors,

you come up with vanilla.

What an imagination.

You want any marshmallow on that?

Chocolate sprinkles?

Any gum balls or anything in it?

Just the vanilla.

Vanilla. Here you go. 15 cents.

Pennies. Swell.

My dad's gonna be on TV tonight.

Don't forget to vote for him.

Swell.

You know what a dime looks like?

Little silver thing

you can carry around.

If I have to run through 44 flavors

for that kid again, I'll go banana nut.

How do you like that?

Only gave me 14.

[Dog barks]

Let him go.

- Where do these go?

- Back in the truck.

It needs to have that barren look,

showing the ravages of crime.

Could have some impact.

His wife is also his campaign manager,

so try to keep the lid on her.

Campaign manager?

She's more like Sarah Bernhardt

in "Housekeeping Can be Fun".

Wait a minute. What is that?

That's Daniels' kid.

Try to work him in.

We'd like to show the family.

Yeah?

- My husband's always been civic-minded.

- That's true.

But when I pointed out

the challenges that lay ahead, he...

- Hi.

- Hi, darling.

You're acting like Sarah Bernhardt

starring in "Housekeeping Can Be Fun".

We do not eat junk foods

in this house between meals.

- Since when?

- Since we're gonna be on TV.

Which tie do you like?

The navy blue or the navy blue?

- The navy blue.

- Thank you.

You're not going to wear that shirt

on the show.

Brian, change your shirt.

- Change your shirt.

- [Radio] Prescott Museum robbery.

The exact value of the ring

has not been determined.

You could use that in your...

...it was one of the museum's

most valuable pieces.

If I get cauliflower ear,

it's gonna be your fault.

Wilby, what's wrong?

That could be the Borgia ring

they stole.

The Borgia ring?

It's the one that...

- Brian, why aren't you in school?

- It's summer vacation.

Go straighten your room up, OK?

I straightened it up last month.

Then change your shirt like Mom...

Because I said so.

Rejections will make me grow up

to be inhibited and a non-achiever,

and it'll be his fault.

- Just say it.

- I'm not sure you'd understand.

- I'll understand.

- I'm really not so sure...

You'd understand.

When I was a teenager, I...

accidentally took an old ring

from the Prescott Museum.

There was a strange

Latin inscription on it.

Like what?

I'd rather not say.

Anyway, when I found the ring

at home, I...

I read the inscription a couple times...

And?

And I turned into a dog.

[Laughs] Oh, Wilby.

There was a big shaggy dog next door,

and I became that dog.

Wilby, uh...

are you sure you're feeling all right?

I knew I shouldn't have told you.

I'm glad you did because sometimes,

we let little things nag at us

when it's nothing.

Do you realize if someone reads that

inscription I could turn into a dog?

I love that tie on you.

It just brings out

the color in your eyes.

Did you hear what I said?

Yes, I did.

We're just going to pretend

that you never said it.

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

Me?

Forgive me, but might I have

a moment of your time?

Allow me to introduce myself.

Dr. Sturdivant,

on sabbatical from the Sorbonne.

Oh, I'm Tim, the ice cream man

from Dolly Dixon's.

I seem to have overextended myself

in my travels

and I find that I'm temporarily

financially embarrassed.

- If you know what I mean.

- No.

Therefore, I am forced to part

with this family heirloom

at a fraction of its real value.

Oh.

It's a ring.

Very discerning of you, sir.

It's also a princely relic of antiquity.

Yeah? Is it?

Gee, I wonder if Katrinka'd like that.

Katrinka?

Katrinka Muggelberg.

She's in pies down at Dolly's.

This is her right here.

She's captain

of the Southside Steamrollers.

Cute little thing, isn't she?

Isn't she, though?

I'm sure a lady like her would be

simply enchanted by that ring.

- You think so?

- In fact...

her gratitude would be unbounded.

Unbounded?

Yeah. Gee, how much you want

for that thing?

Well, circumstances force me

to sacrifice it for $500.

$500... dollars.

Dollars?

Yes.

Oh, well, uh...

I was lookin' for a blue one.

$500.

Would you spring for five bucks, mac?

Five bucks?

Oh.

It does have a little

blue in it, doesn't it?

Say, you take pennies?

25...

Now, you just be yourself there,

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