The Shaggy D.A. Page #3

Mr. Daniels.

I'll ask your wife a few questions,

then we'll bring the cameras

into the den.

- Sort of surprise you at work.

- All right, places.

Five, four...

three, two, one.

You're on the air.

Welcome to "Meet Your Candidate".

This morning we're going to meet

Wilby Daniels and his family.

Mr. Daniels is the man

who many people feel,

is undertaking the impossible task

of trying to unseat

long-established D.A. John Slade.

My name is Wilby Daniels, and I'd like

to take this opportunity to...

- Brian, don't stare at me, all right?

- I wasn't staring.

Hello.

I'd like to take this opportunity

to introduce myself.

My name is...

[announcer] But the name John Slade

is familiar in this town.

It may be difficult

for the man at the polls

to switch from long-established

voting habits

to put an unknown man

in this responsible office.

Oh, here's Mrs. Daniels now.

- How do you do, Mrs. Daniels?

- How do you do?

We understand you're

Mr. Daniels' campaign manager.

[Mrs. Daniels] I felt it

incumbent upon myself,

as a wife and as a woman,

to place my shoulder to the wheel

alongside my husband,

and I urged him to pick up the gauntlet

that lay before him.

And I assured him that as his wife

and his counselor,

I would be by his side

down the long, dark corridor

that lay ahead.

What do you do when you're not

running his campaign?

I love to paint and I read.

I, uh... I find the Lake poets

very, uh... scintillating.

I wonder what that guy meant.

"Her gratitude will be unbounded."

Pretty sharp, huh?

Hey, look.

There's some writing on the back.

"In canis corpore transmuto."

Wonder what that means?

I'll tell Katrinka it's "I love you"

in Swahili. She won't know.

Fellow citizens, for many years now...

You're getting a little gray, Dad.

Fellow citizens...

No!

You look just like Elwood.

I am Elwood.

Elwood? Elwood?

And now I'd like you to meet...

Stay, Pop.

Brian, where's your father?

Uh, he had to go.

- Go get Daniels.

- Yes, sir.

Well, we'll meet Mr. Daniels later.

This, I presume, is your son Brian

and the family dog.

Mrs. Daniels?

What's the dog's name?

- Bowser.

- Elwood.

How's that?

- Uh, Elwood.

- Bowser.

He'll answer to almost anything.

Won't you, old boy?

Does your dog do any tricks?

Well, I guess so.

Sure.

No.

Who said "no"?

We're picking up a ghost somewhere.

Seems to be several opinions here.

Does he or doesn't he do tricks?

No tricks.

- There it is again.

- Come on boy, speak.

Speak, boy.

Come on, boy, speak.

Come on. Speak.

- Speak, boy. Come on.

- Woof.

Woof?

Woof?

This has gotta be costing Daniels votes.

Loni, get Daniels or we'll

have to leave the air.

Elwood!

[Whistles]

Elwood.

Hey, Elwood.

Hey!

Elwood! That's not your house.

[Wilby] I gotta get outta here.

Elwood!

Hey, watch out!

I've had enough of this.

Elwood!

I'm sorry, Admiral.

I was just chasing Elwood.

Why don't you stop by the truck,

I'll get you a free rum baba.

Elwood!

[Admiral] Out of my flowers,

you molting rug.

That goes for you too.

Hold it, Elwood.

Just leaving port, Admiral.

If I catch you

in my flowers again,

I'll put you both

in dry dock for a month.

Get in there, Elwood.

I don't know what's gotten into you.

You really made the admiral mad.

You know you ruined his flowers.

You're lucky I don't spank you.

Stop this truck. Let me out of here

or I'm gonna deck ya.

After all I've done for you,

is that any way to talk?

You got a lot of nerve

talkin' to me like...

Elwood, how'd you learn to talk?

I started out with "ga-ga,"

and worked my way up to "din-din."

He can talk.

Do that again. Say "ga-ga."

"Ga-ga."

Say "din-din."

"Din-din."

- [Wilby] What's the use?

- I don't believe this. Wait.

If you can talk like that,

we can get into show business.

We can make a fortune.

We can get on TV, too.

You can have your own talk show.

"Here's Elwood!" We can make millions.

Of course, I want to be fair about this,

so I figure I'll give you 10%.

What do you think? Elwood.

Hey, Elwood, wait a minute.

I'll tell you what. I'll give you 20%.

You can have steak every night.

Wait a minute. Elwood!

Elwood! Elwood!

- [Woman screams]

- Sorry, ma'am. Elwood!

Elwood?

You hear me? Elwood!

[Dog barks]

[Wilby] Oh, no.

Stay, boy.

Nice dog.

Nice doggy.

Watch out.

Now, wait a minute.

That smarts.

Don't do that.

Nice dog.

You can have your house back now.

Nice doggie.

Just relax now.

[Dog barks and growls]

I'm sure he'll be here any minute.

Can you run a commercial?

We ran eight commercials,

two standbys and a test pattern.

There's Pop now.

Places, everybody.

- Cameras on the door here.

- On the door.

Faster, Pop.

Hi, there.

My name is Wilby Daniels

and if I'm elected your D.A.,

I promise to bring order

out of chaos.

And I further promise

that if elected,

I will call for an immediate

grand jury investigation

into links between a known felon,

Eddie Roschak,

and the incumbent District Attorney,

John Slade.

There's been a dramatic increase

in the crime rate.

My first...

I know what you're gonna say, Eddie,

and I keep tellin' you,

you got absolutely nothing

to worry about.

You say!

He's coming on awful strong.

- He's naming names. I don't like it.

- Talk's cheap.

He can make charges all day

but he's gotta prove 'em.

If he gets elected,

we are in trouble.

- Both of us.

- He's not gonna get elected, Eddie.

Take my word.

You know, maybe Daniels could use

a little mud on him,

just as a precaution.

Mud? On Daniels?

Sure. Everybody's got a skeleton

in their closet. Everybody.

Get something on him.

Something that'll chop him off

right at the knees.

I don't want you runnin' away again.

We got too much at stake here.

Let's start your career by going to

Harry's Bar and getting some change.

Are you still mad over

the percentage split?

I'll make it 50-50.

This better be a good show.

- What do you say, Harry, old buddy?

- No dogs.

Just a minute, Harry. This is no dog.

Well, what is it?

Harry, this happens to be the world's

only talking dog.

Perhaps you didn't hear me. No dogs.

I'm telling you, this dog is as smart

as anybody in this place.

Out!

We're marching

to different drums, Harry.

Just a minute. Elwood, come on.

Folks...

I have with me here today

Elwood, the talking dog.

I got five bucks that says

this dog can talk

as well as anyone in this room.

Do I have any takers?

Everybody in here's a chicken?

Oh, yeah?

Make it 20, buster.

20? You hear that, Elwood?

Okay, Harry, here you go.

You're covered on that.

OK, Elwood. Come on, boy, put 'em up.

Right up there.

Folks, this is Elwood,

the talking dog.

He will now give his rendition

of "Mary Had A Little Lamb."

Elwood, take it away.

A little louder.

I'll just get him started.

Mary had a little lamb.

Its... Mary...

Look Elwood,

we got 20 bucks ridin' here, so...

could you just come up with it?

We, uh...

Just tell the folks how

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