The Shaggy D.A. Page #4

you ask for your dinner.

Say "din-din."

Tell you what, tell Harry "ga-ga."

Just tell Harry "ga-ga."

Look.

Why don't you go down

to the dog's bar

and see if he can get you to bark?

Just a minute now.

Tell you what, you move your lips

and I'll talk for you.

Just watch this.

Mary had a little lamb.

Its fleece was white as snow.

Everywhere that Mary...

They're not buyin' it, Elwood.

20 bucks.

This is serious.

That ring is floating around someplace.

If somebody reads the inscription,

I'm a shaggy dog again.

Who knows when that will happen?

Maybe when you're taking

the oath of office.

- That'd be a crack-up.

- [Wilby] Very funny.

The prospect of my taking

an oath of office seems highly unlikely.

You can't go through life not knowing

when you'll turn into a dog. Right?

Right!

- We've got to find that ring.

- And find it fast.

Where do you start looking

for a hot ring, Pop?

Pawn shops, swap meets,

places like that.

Admiral, I can't talk to you now.

I have some important things to do.

You're guest speaker

at the Daisies at eight bells.

I am here to see

that this time you're on time.

I'm sorry. I forgot.

[Mrs. Daniels] And I am

especially honored

to introduce our guest speaker

this afternoon,

our Daisy of the Day.

Because of the special attachment

I've had with this gentleman

over the last few years.

As you're all aware,

Mr. Daniels is running for

the office of District Attorney,

and I know whereof I speak

when I tell you that he is a man

of the highest moral fiber,

a man of unquestioned integrity

and a man dedicated to the task

that lies before him.

Mr. Daniels.

Thank you very much.

- How's it goin', Elwood?

- Hi, Katrinka.

We're out of kumquat and guava sherbet,

but the rest is here.

Fine. Say, Katrinka, I, uh...

I have a little something for you.

If it's another souvenir pillow

from Grand Rapids, forget it.

- Actually, it's a ring.

- Look, Jim...

- It's Tim.

- Yeah. Tim.

Just 'cause I waved at you once

at the roller games...

I've been meanin' to tell you,

you're the best darn skater

that the Steamrollers have.

Yeah, I know.

But like I say,

just 'cause I waved back at you,

don't mean it's ring time.

It's not a ring, actually.

It's just a present, that's all.

Here.

Just what I always wanted,

a bug ring.

Where's the cracker jack?

What's this writing in here mean?

- I'm not sure.

- "In canis corpore transmuto."

"In canis corpore transmuto."

[Wilby] What can you, the voters, do

about this deplorable state of affairs?

Come election day,

vote those people out of office,

and bring back respectability

to this community.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Daniels.

Now, the song chairman will lead us

in a chorus of "The Daisy Hymn."

All right, ladies.

- I'm not through yet.

- Yes, you are, Elwood.

(music) Side by side

(music) Symbol of our city's pride

(music) We are the Daisies

(music) Together we will stand

(music) The Daisies are the guardians

(music) Of beauty in the land

- (music) We nurture...

- [ladies scream]

Don't panic, ladies.

Keep calm.

- Where to?

- [Wilby] 152 Hadley Drive.

[Tim] Elwood!

Elwood.

Elwood?

Elwood!

[Whistles] Elwood!

Elwood!

[Tim] Hey, Elwood! Wait.

- So, who do you like in the election?

- Daniels.

I agree, but he ain't got a chance

against Slade's machine.

[Wilby] Believe me, Daniels can do it.

Elwood, come on.

Did you think you could fool me

with those glasses on?

[Wilby] They're my reading glasses!

Stop pulling on me.

You could seriously injure my windpipe.

Will you take me home?

I'll take you anywhere,

but you gotta promise me something.

Anything.

Good. 'Cause I'm gonna go down

and blow Harry's mind.

This is the big one.

Look, I got a routine worked out.

Here's what I want you to do.

[Tim] You won't clam up

like you did last time?

[Wilby] I'll keep my end of the deal.

You keep yours.

[Tim] I'll go in and set it up

real cool-like.

- [Wilby] How long'll it take?

- [Tim] Never mind.

I told you to work on that routine.

How do you expect to get anywhere

if you don't rehearse?

Another Dean Martin.

(music) Down by the old mill stream

[Wilby] He sure picked a dumb song.

(music) Where I first met you

(music) With your eyes...

Move on.

[Wilby] You never seen

a dog sing before?

That's singing?

Growl! Woof.

I'll tell you what, then. Look.

Here's 40 bucks that says he can sing

"Down By the Old Mill Stream."

Words and music.

Listen, sherbet-head,

you're startin' to steam me.

Evidently you've lost your marbles.

Now I'm gonna start on your teeth.

[Hums]

Elwood!

Come on back, Elwood. Attaboy.

Hello, Elwood.

It's nice to meet you face-to-face.

We've been so close

these last few days.

Look, tell Tim that...

guess there's not really anything

you can tell Tim, is there?

Good luck, old buddy.

Go get that singing fur ball.

Name is Elwood.

It's all set, Elwood.

You got your collar off already.

Good. Come on, boy.

I got him all worked up.

I said you were gonna open with

"Down By the Old Mill Stream."

Here he is.

Elwood, the talking dog.

I've taken the liberty of telling

these folks you will sing for them.

Get right up here.

Ladies and gentlemen,

for his first selection,

he'd like to do

"Down By the Old Mill Stream."

Take it away, Elwood.

He's just warming up.

Take it away, Elwood.

I'll get him started on this one.

(music) Down... Down by the old...

(music) Down...

Is it too high?

(music) Down by the old...

(music) Down by the old mill stream

Everybody.

(music) Where I first met you

I think it'd be kinda nice

if I helped you

and this albino footstool

to your truck, okay?

Let's talk this over.

I wanna tell you something.

That 40 bucks is comin' out

of your first million. Come on.

Maybe next time

I should wear a disguise.

Next time, comb your hair.

That would be disguise enough.

How much do they want for the brooch?

We're not shopping for a brooch.

I've gotta find that ring.

- Before I turn into a dog again.

- All right, I'm sorry.

If you turn into a dog again,

can we go hunting together?

No, we cannot go hunting together.

Will you chase Mrs. Metzler's cat?

- Brian!

- Brian.

I don't get much call

for tomato licorice.

I'm gonna let this one go to you

for just a nickel.

- Five pennies.

- What flavors you got, mister?

Oh, boy. Flavors.

You got your vanilla, chocolate,

strawberry, maple dribble, you got...

What are you doin' around here?

I'm looking for a ring

with a beetle on it.

Supposed to be a secret.

A ring with a beetle on it?

Gee, I gave one like that

to my girlfriend the other day.

You did?

She's not exactly my girlfriend.

You see...

Pop!

You don't have to spread it around.

Tattletale.

This gentleman unknowingly gave you

a ring that belongs to me.

That is, I'm not the legal owner,

but I need it.

Tough.

This is a personal matter.

It'll have to wait till after work.

I'm prepared to offer a reward.

Like how much?

I get a quarter for cleaning the garage,

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