The Shaggy Dog Page #3

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Now you must excuse me, please.

I have work to do.

Isn't there anything I can do?

Yes, be happy.

And keep a stiff upper lip.

- Thanks.

- You're welcome.

[Radio] 1-L-2-9, Code 6. 1-A-7-9, over.

1-2-0-4-9, Roger.

All units on one, stand by.

- Sorry.

- That's all right.

- What'd you say?

- Hmm?

- I said I'm sorry.

- That's what I thought you said.

- Johnny.

- What's the matter with you?

- You see a dog that was just there?

- Yeah, why?

- Did you hear...

- Hear what?

Forget it.

Forget it, I said.

All right, then. I'll forget it.

[Gargling]

[Toilet flushes]

[Wilson hums]

Wilby, Moochie, time to get up.

Be right with you, Pop.

Hey, Wilby, I had the funniest dream

last night.

I dreamed that you were a dog.

[Wilby groaning]

Come on, Wilby, wake up.

It was the greatest dream.

You came in this room

as a big ol' shaggy dog.

Hey, Wilby, wake up!

Oh, boy! How'd you get in here?

What'd you mean, how'd I get in here?

I live here.

You talk just like Wilby.

I am Wilby.

No, you're a dog!

Where are you going?

Dog?

Oh.

It can't be true. No!

Do you think Pop'll

let me keep you, Wilby?

Shut up a minute, will ya?

Let me think.

I'll be good to you.

Honest, I will.

Boy, we'll have great times together.

Great times together?

What are you talking about?

- Uh-oh.

- What's the matter?

- I hope Pop won't shoot you.

- Huh?

He swore the first time

he caught a dog in this house...

[Wilson] You two better be up

when I open that door!

Yipe. Here he comes.

Hurry, get under there. Come on.

All right, come on, you birds.

- Good morning, Pop.

- Good morning.

- How are you this morning?

- I'm very fine, thank you.

- Wilby.

- Pop, listen to this.

[Plays harmonica]

Very nice. Now, stop playing it

and get dressed.

But, Pop, I just learned it.

Very good.

Now get dressed like I told you.

Wilby, I want you out of that bed,

right now.

And you brush your teeth.

- That was a close one.

- Don't worry, boy.

Gosh.

Why did this have to happen to me?

It's just terrific, Wilby.

How'd it happen?

I don't know exactly.

Remember? We were down

in the basement last night.

Uh-huh.

- Morning, dear.

- Good morning, dear.

Have you seen any dogs around here?

Of course not.

They wouldn't dare.

Are my eyes getting puffy?

You've always had puffy eyes.

I know that. They just feel like

they're getting puffier.

Freeda, if I thought for a moment...

- Freeda, I hope I can trust you.

- What do you mean?

You're always telling me

how much Moochie wants a dog.

Yes.

I know you two

wouldn't gang up on me, but...

Sometimes I get the feeling

you're not in sympathy with my problem.

Wilson, I think you'd better

eat your eggs.

Did Prof. Plumcutt say

you had to stay a dog all the time?

He didn't exactly know.

Gee, I hope so.

You what?

Gosh, Wilby. You know how much

I always wanted to have a dog.

Well, I'm not going to be your dog.

I'll teach you all kinds of tricks.

How to sit up, beg, roll over

and all that stuff.

- Cut it out, will you?

- [Wilson] Boys.

You stay here.

I'll tell him you're not hungry.

Hungry? I'm starved!

You like nice meaty bones?

You know what I like. Hurry!

Don't worry, boy.

I'm gonna take good care of you.

Take care of me. Humph!

[Wilby] Psst.

Psst.

Pop?

What's this ad?

- Well, it's a sale on lawnmowers.

- Interesting, isn't it?

Yes.

How did you get in here?

Shoo, shoo.

Go home. Go home.

Don't you know it isn't safe

for a dog in this house? Go!

- My toast.

- Coming up. Shoo.

- Freeda.

- Yes?

Is there a dog in the kitchen?

- A dog?

- Yes, dog.

- D-O-G.

- Dog.

What kind of a dog?

- That's all I wanted to know.

- Pop!

- Where are you going?

- To the hall closet.

- What for?

- To get my shotgun.

- You can't shoot your own...

- My own what?

- Your own neighbor's dog.

- Can't I?

- Pop, you can't shoot that dog!

- [Wilby] Oh!

[Gunshot]

Oh!

[Panting]

That's right!

Run, you cowardly flea bag!

Next time you come

on my property, I'll...

I'll... Well, I just will!

I just don't understand it.

He's never stayed out all night before.

I'm sure he'll return for his meals.

If you'd watch him more carefully,

these things wouldn't happen...

I'm sorry, mademoiselle.

There you are. Where have you been

all night, you wretched beast!

Chiffon! Get down from there.

Chiffon, mon petit,

I've been so worried about you.

What have you been up to, villain?

Now, you're all forgiven.

Come on, how about some breakfast?

Well, since when do you

eat at the table?

I'll get you some breakfast, come on.

[Doorbell rings]

Stefano, the door.

Yes?

Dr. Andrassy's expecting me.

My name is Thurm.

Yes, Mr. Thurm, come in.

Please follow me.

What's the matter?

I thought you were hungry.

Well, go on.

[Crunching]

Oh, no, you don't.

You get back in the kitchen.

- Stefano.

- Mademoiselle?

Take Chiffon.

See that he doesn't run away again.

- Do you understand?

- Oui, mademoiselle.

You're always causing me trouble,

aren't you?

Get in there. I don't have time

to watch you every minute.

Now, let's see you get out of there.

It's me!

It's me!

[Barks]

[Moochie] Here, Wilby!

Wilby. Here, Wilby.

Wilby.

Here, boy.

[Whistles]

Here, Wilby.

Wilby. Here, boy.

Here, Wilby.

Here, boy.

Here, Wilby.

- Wilby?

- What do you think you're doing?

Aw, gee.

What's the matter?

You're not a dog anymore.

You were gonna put

this dog collar on me, weren't you?

You don't have to get sore.

Forget it.

I'm through with that dog business.

You sure?

No.

Where's Pop?

He's in there.

Cleaning his gun.

Well, I guess I'll have to hide these

for awhile.

- Did you wash your hands?

- Yep.

Wilson, if you don't mind, we'll have

dinner early tomorrow night.

We're all going

to the country club dance.

- Is my good suit clean?

- I had it done last week.

Wilby, why don't you take a girl

to the dance?

Wilby? He's a little young for dating,

isn't he?

Nonsense, just because you didn't

go out with girls until you were 23.

That's not true. I was 20.

Besides, I was shy.

Well, Wilby can't exist in a vacuum.

Besides, you've already taken

all his hobbies away from him.

I'd say it was a big jump

from bird's eggs to girls.

There is nothing wrong with girls.

They're character building.

Why don't you ask Allison to the dance?

Allison? Well, Buzz takes her

to all the dances.

Oh. Then someone else.

There must be dozens of lovely girls

who'd be delighted to go with you.

Why does he have to take a girl?

Why can't he go with me?

That's a great idea, that is.

Honey, why don't you take that new girl

down the street?

Dr. Andrassy's daughter?

Francesca?

No, I wouldn't have a chance with her.

[Knocking]

See who that is, will you, Wilby?

Wilby, could I talk to you

in private for a second?

You know, knothead... Wilby,

you're the best friend I have.

Buzz, not a cent.

Now, I don't come to see you

just when I need money.

All right, I'm sorry.

The point is, I do have a problem.

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