The Shaggy Dog Page #4

---

I'm supposed to take Allison

to the country club dance.

I know.

I happened to mention the dance

to Francesca.

You know how it is.

She's a smooth worker.

Before I knew it, I asked her to go too.

Well, what do you want me to do?

All you have to do is come

and make a foursome out of it.

You don't have to be with anybody.

I don't get you.

Don't you see I'll handle it,

so both girls think they're with me.

Then everybody's happy.

I don't see how that makes me happy.

Sure you do, it's fun.

We're playing a harmless little joke

on the girls.

What do you say?

Anything's better than going

with my little brother.

I just don't see how it's going to work.

Well, you just come along and watch

the old master at work, buddy pal.

Oh.

Say, I'll need gas

for tomorrow night.

You don't happen

to have a buck on you, do you?

- How nice you look, Wilby!

- Thank you. So do you.

Thank you.

Don't bother getting out, Wilby.

I'll get your date for you.

Imagine, taking the prettiest girl

in town to the dance.

Well, you know...

Francesca certainly seems

to find you attractive.

You really think so?

Of course, I'm not as sophisticated

as she is,

but there is something about you lately.

Something unusual.

[Door closes]

- You girls know one another.

- Of course.

- Hello, Wilby.

- Hi, Francesca.

I think you both better

ride up front with me.

The wind in the back

is murder on the hair.

You're so thoughtful, Buzz.

[Speaks French]

Sorry, I don't speak French.

Oh.

[Swing music plays]

Allison, will you do something for me?

What is it?

Well, you know, this is Wilby's first

dress-up date, and he's scared stiff.

- Scared of what?

- Francesca.

That's silly. She's his date, isn't she?

Sure, but you know how shy he is.

Francesca's kind of spectacular.

- It's got him tied up in knots.

- So?

I thought if you could dance

the first dance with him...

You're old friends.

It might break the ice for him.

Since when are you

so concerned about Wilby?

I like to see everyone happy.

Thanks, Allison, you're a real doll.

Wilby, aren't you and Allison

gonna have the first dance?

Sure, how 'bout it, Allison?

Wanna dance?

Love to.

- Shall we?

- Oui.

They're sweet together, aren't they?

- That's what makes it so tough.

- What does?

Well, Wilby's got a tremendous crush

on Allison.

Trouble is, he's so shy.

Allison goes more

for the sophisticated type.

She can't see Wilby for sour apples.

Boy! He is very nice, isn't he?

Don't you worry,

there's nothing you can do about it.

- Buzz, I have a rather amusing idea.

- What's that?

Suppose I make a little fuss over Wilby

and pretend to be interested in him.

What, you mean make Allison jealous?

- Oh, just a little bit.

- Why, you're a genius.

I never would've thought of that

in a million years.

Next number will be a ladies' tag dance.

Tag dance.

It's customary.

The custom, is it not?

- What's the big idea?

- You told me to break the ice.

Fine, break it. Don't melt it.

Excuse me.

It's amazing.

All those pretty girls actually seem

to enjoy dancing with Wilby.

Why not?

I'd have bet anything he was going to be

the all American wallflower.

There are a lot of things about your son

that you don't know.

The next number is a Paul Revere.

- Shall we, dear?

- Love to!

Excuse us, Moochie.

No more cake, sweetheart.

Wilby!

Wilby!

Wilby!

- What's the big idea?

- Get down!

- Don't give me trouble, Mooch.

- You've got it. Look at yourself!

Oh, no! No!

Not here, not now, please!

Wilby, are you all right?

Oh, boy, you're a dog again!

What are you so happy about?

Gosh, Wilby.

You're a lot more fun as a dog

than you are as my brother.

Shut up, and get me out of here.

OK, boy, I don't want anything

to happen to you now.

[Whispers] Come on, sneak out that way.

Chiffon!

What in the world is he doing here?

- Who?

- Chiffon.

Chiffon!

- Get him, Buzz.

- Oh, yeah.

[Screams]

[Screams]

There's that blasted dog again.

Get away! What's he doing here?

- See you later, boy.

- Look out!

Come here, you mangy mutt!

Come here.

Come on, Moochie.

Time for bed, dear.

[Phone rings]

Hello? Wilby, where are you?

- Pop!

- Just a minute. It's a little late.

- Isn't time you get home?

- Is he all right?

Yes, he's all right.

We wondered where you went. I suppose

you went chasing after the dog too.

Is it all right if you stay

at Buzz' house?

- It's all right, Pop.

- Yes, it's all right.

Hey, Kelly, got a dime for the phone?

Whoops.

Sorry, Officer Hansen. Bye.

[Phone clinking]

Kelly, here's your dime.

Can we go now?

- I thought you were calling home.

- I changed my mind. Let's go.

- You said it was important.

- I know what I said. It was a whim.

Sometimes I'm just full of little whims.

Can we go now, please?

- But, you said...

- Forget it, I said! Forget it.

All right, I'll forget it.

Don't bother, Buzz.

- Good night. I hope you find your dog.

- Thank you, Allison. Good night.

Good night.

[Tires screeching]

In the words of your charming

other date, don't bother!

- Wait, I can explain everything!

- Good night.

Well, that's gratitude for you.

I beg your pardon?

Here I almost break my neck

trying to catch that dog of yours.

He drags me all over a parking lot

and you won't even listen to me.

So?

Besides that I have

a very deep cut over my eye

and it'll probably be infected

by the time I get home.

Oh, well.

I guess I don't blame you.

Come on inside. I'll clean your scratch.

Now you're talking.

What the...

What a night!

- Is Chiffon here?

- Yes, he just came home.

- He's in the kitchen.

- I'm quite displeased with you.

I distinctly asked you

to keep Chiffon locked up.

I did my best.

I left him in the kitchen,

locked the doors, he escaped.

We won't discuss it now.

Please go and sit down.

I want to check on Chiffon.

Will you forget

about that mutt for once?

Like I said, it's Wilby's fault

that I got into this mess.

- Wilby's?

- Yeah, it's all his fault.

Because I have a soft heart.

I was trying to do him a favor.

Ouch. That stings.

There, it's all done now.

Wilby didn't have enough nerve

to get himself a date.

So, he cooked up this whole thing.

Why are you blaming this on Wilby?

Don't let him fool you.

He's not as dumb as he looks.

Behind that simple face...

Well, I don't want to talk

about my best friend like that.

Let's talk about us.

You know, Francesca,

I've never met a girl like you.

No, I'm not kidding.

There's something about you...

[barks loudly]

Chiffon!

There you are.

What a bad dog you've been.

Running away again and scaring

poor Francesca half to death.

Bad boy!

I sure hate to see you

waste all that on a mutt.

Why?

What do you mean?

I mean, forget about tonight.

Forget Wilby and the whole mess.

Like I said before,

let's talk about us.

You know, Francesca...

- the first time I saw you...

- [dog growls]

I said to myself,

"Buzz, there's just the girl for..."

Rate this script:2.0 / 1 vote