The Shape of Things Page #4

it's not stupid.

God!

You're a lovely person.

You know that?

"Lovely"?

Jesus, why dont you just

call me gay and get it over with?

Hey!

Lovely is nice.

No, I wish there were a few

more lovely people in the world.

I mean it. You are.

And getting cuter by the day.

What is that girl doing to you?

Lots.

She's amazing. Really.

What happened

to your glasses?

Are you wearing...

No! Adam!

Are those contacts?

Yep.

Contacts.

Oh, my God.

This from the former

tape-around-the-nose-thingie champion.

That was only for, like, a week!

That one time!

I know, but still,

you gotta admit...

I do. It's great.

I feel better.

"Better." I mean, you're,

like, this totally hot guy now.

No. No, I mean, I always thought

you were handsome before, but...

I didn't think youd go in

for the makeover thingie.

Me either.

Who knew?

Well, apparently she did.

You are still seeing her,

arent you?

Oh, yeah. She's...

You don't hold a grudge, do ya?

All she said that night...

Oh, God, I couldn't believe

that! No, it was great.

No, truthfully, it was. I mean,

Phil needed to hear every word of that.

He did, too.

Hear it, I mean.

You know, he even said something

after you guys left.

I mean, not an admittance

of guilt, exactly,

but as close to one as we're

likely to hear from the guy.

Really? What'd he say?

I'm amazed. As was I.

He put on quite the show.

I remember vaguely.

They both did.

Anyway, later on

he said something like,

"He could do worse."

Not exactly

a seal of approval.

No, but a lot for him.

And after what she said?

You're right.

Huh.

Hey, her middle name's

not Jenny or anything, is it?

No such luck.

Whew!

No, it's Ann.

Evelyn Ann Thompson.

It's nice, right?

Eat?

What?

Eat.

Those are her initials.

The acronym of her name

is E-A-T.

Hey, that's cute.

Oh, God, you're a goner.

I know.

It's pathetic, isn't it?

Somewhat.

But lovely.

No, not that again!

What the heck is this?

What is this?

What?

Did you stop biting your nails?

Yeah, for, like, a month now.

Don't tell me she...

It's true.

She gave me some kind of crap to put

on 'em, and that was it. I just stopped.

You have nails!

This is crazy!

It's no biggie.

The whole time I've known you...

three years now...

your fingers have looked

like raw meat.

Anyway, awful.

And now you just quit.

This girl is the messiah.

I've quit before.

For, like, an hour.

I love this woman.

Me too.

Yeah, I can see that.

Wow.

And you'd really tell me

if you knew something?

I would, yes.

Okay.

Geez, when did you

get so cute?

Whew.

Sh*t.

Yeah.

What was that all about?

I don't know.

Uh, I'm not sure.

Look, I'm sorry.

No. Don't be.

I am.

Uh, I'm the one

with the ring on.

Yeah, it's...

my friends ring.

Good point.

Thanks for reminding me.

You're welcome.

Aw, dang it!

Oh, no, listen,

it wasn't because of,

you know, my worries or whatever,

how I'm feeling about Philip right now.

It wasn't.

Okay.

It just...

Happened.

Right.

I've wanted to do that

for a long time.

Three years.

Me too.

Now we take it down to

the... the beach and bury it.

Don't we?

Yeah, we do.

of course.

Um...

don't you want to?

Bury it?

Yes. Or...

No. No, we can't

talk about it.

Don't even say the...

God. Do you have

a shovel in your car?

Uh, I don't, no.

But... I have my car.

My bike's

right over there.

Then it... should be fine

if we were to...

go to the beach.

I suppose so.

Good.

Oh, come on.

We should go bury this.

On the beach.

It's 10:
50 now.

No big deal. You always

wait at the doctor's office.

I know. I just had to be

at work by 12:
00.

Today?

Yeah, I told you that.

No, you didn't.

Yeah, I did.

I always work Wednesdays.

Really?

Yeah. Every Wednesday.

Hmm. It's okay. I can

be late if I have to.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I mean, they hate it,

but I'll come up with something.

Or we can go.

No.

I wanna do this. I do.

I mean, w-who wouldn't want to pay a lot

of money to get their nose chopped off?

Well, you're only talking to them

anyway. That's all.

It's just weird to think...

People do it all the time.

Especially out here.

Right.

No, you're right. You're right.

- I just never imagined myself to be one

of those people. - I'm one of those people.

What? You are not.

Take a look.

Where?

I don't see anything.

Exactly.

You got your nose done?

Honestly?

Sixteen.

My parents' birthday present.

Thoughtful. I asked for

it. I had this terrible hook.

The Jewish slope, we

called it in Lake Forest.

The only ski run

for miles around.

I can't believe it. I can't

tell. That's the idea, isn't it?

You could be lying to me. What

would be the point of that?

To get me in here. To watch

chunks of my flesh get torn away.

You could be a sadist for all I

know. Hey, quit sweet-talking me.

God, they did

an amazing job.

Mmm.

Wait a minute. Your name's

Thompson. That's not Jewish.

On my mother's side, you dope.

That's what makes me Jewish.

Her maiden name is Tessman.

Oh. We don't have to stay here, Adam.

No, it's okay.

It just makes me jumpy.

It's cosmetic,

not corrective.

Lots of guys do it.

It's no big deal. I promise.

Well, if it's cosmetic, maybe I

should just put some powder on it.

You know,

I think youll look great.

You have a good face.

A nice shape to your nose,

actually,

but its just got

that bit of...

What?

Bulb.

At the end. I mean... Well, not

a bulb exactly, but more of a...

No, I get it.

Sort of a Rudolph effect.

PDA.

Indeed.

Shall I go

check the men's room?

- I dare you.

- Shut up.

I'm serious. Is this, like,

my last meal or something?

A conjugal visit

before I'm drawn and quartered?

Stop being so morbid.

It's just flesh.

Yeah, I see

what you mean.

It's just flesh.

That's not morbid at all.

It isn't.

You've bitten more skin off

from around your fingernails...

than a doctor would ever

trim off your nose.

It's true.

How'd you get that scar

on your back?

Which? The...

Yes, the raised one.

A kid, um, threw a stick

at me, first grade.

Stitches?

Yeah. Thirty-three.

And is that terrible? Are you

disfigured because of it?

Well... I don't like

to wear tank tops.

What's the matter with scars?

Not a thing.

Did you try to...

No. Not really.

I mean, I cut on myself a little, tried

to get attention when I was a teenager,

but I didn't wanna

slit my veins open.

So, is my arm unattractive to you then

because of those, or not?

No, not at all.

I love your arm.

It's beautiful.

They're like rings on a tree.

They signify experience,

make us unique.

I can see that.

And that's all this is.

The idea of you

having some surgery.

It's an experience.

I know.

It just makes me...

What? Nervous?

"It's a far, far better thing I do

than I have ever done."

Something like that.

Is that from a book?

Yeah. Dickens.

Ah! So...

are you gonna go check?

What?

What, the restroom?

Uh-huh.

What if they call my name though?

Seriously.

What if they do?

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