The Shape of Things Page #5

I smell trouble...

Mmm.

Which I may not be able

to do after this.

Just go.

All right.

Then I can show you something. What?

Hmm? Oh, nothin'.

No, uh,

just a little something

I had done... for you.

Wait. No. Show me now.

It's a big religious no-no.

Nice, huh?

"Eat."

Let me guess.

You couldn't afford the "me."

No, you goof.

It's your initials.

Do you like it?

I do.

I like it.

I'm serious.

It looks good.

Just shut up. Don't get here late

and then make fun of me.

- No. You look distinguished.

- Phil.

I look like a hockey player.

Yeah, but a distinguished one.

What'd you do anyway?

I fell.

Come on.

What?

Seriously. I did.

You sound like a battered wife.

I fell.

That's not funny.

Yeah, it is. It's very funny.

I mean, it's not that funny

that wives get beat up,

but the fact that you look like one...

that I find hilarious.

Well, that's what happened.

I tripped, I fell. No big deal.

You really fell?

Yeah.

I, uh, tripped going up the...

You know?

No. What?

The... thingie.

I hit the edge of the...

You know. No. It's "the edge of the"

that I'm a little hazy on here.

The edge of the knob...

my doorknob.

You really tripped?

Truthfully? Yes. God.

Huh.

Okay.

Why do you say that... "Huh"?

- What, you don't believe me?

- No. I just...

I saw your girlfriend

the other day,

maybe what, last Thursday.

You weren't in class.

I asked her if you were okay. That's all.

Yeah? So?

And she said yes, but you were recovering

from an operation or something.

What?

That's what I said.

Then she said it wasn't really

an operation, per se,

just something you had done...

a "procedure."

That was it. So I just thought, No.

I don't know, whatever.

I -I hurt it. Really. I hit it... You know,

I banged it up pretty bad at home.

So I had the doctor take a look at

it, but he didn't operate or anything.

So where'd you see her?

I don't know.

Starbucks or somewhere...

the mall maybe.

She doesn't drink coffee.

So it was downtown then.

Record City, I think.

Wh-What, you worried

I'm gonna steal her? No.

God. Don't be so...

Believe me.

- Ugh!

- Anyway, it's gonna be fine.

Well, that's good to hear.

Yeah.

And, uh,

you'd tell me if there was

anything seriously wrong.

of course.

Hey, what's up?

I mean, we're friends,

right?

You'd come to me.

About what?

- Phil, what's...

- Jenny told me.

Jenny told you what?

She kissed you.

- Oh.

- She felt shitty, I guess.

I could tell for, like, a week

somethin' was goin' on.

And then finally she

told me about it. She did.

I mean, she did do that,

but it-it was nothing.

No. I don't mean nothing, no.

Uh, it meant nothing.

It didn't hold any meaning for us.

For "us"? Okay, so you can speak

for her then? It just happened.

For me. It didn't for me.

It was just a...

And that's all she said?

- Don't tell me there's more.

- No. God, no, not at all. No.

It's all right.

I'd been acting weird lately.

This whole... marriage idea

is just freaky, so...

It's my fault, I guess.

Sorry.

It's better than me

having to kiss you.

- Good point.

- No tongue, right?

- Oh, Jesus!

- I'm just asking.

No. Please.

Well, I got a 3:
10.

So long, Romeo.

Where's your jacket?

What?

Okay, this is, uh...

too much.

The cord jacket?

The lumberjacky-lookin' thing?

I don't know.

Uh-huh.

And this, uh,

Tommy Hilfiger-ish job...

Where'd you come up with

that? The mall. I bought it.

- What's the big deal?

- That's, like, a sailing slicker.

She likes it.

It's reversible.

Well, isn't that just neat?

What I want to know is,

do you like it?

It's okay. Uh-huh. Let me ask you this.

Did you get to keep the cord job,

or did she make you toss it?

- Who cares? God...

- Huh?

I threw it out, okay?

Goodwill, actually.

"Goodwill, actually."

It's no big thing.

Dude, don't just say

"no big thing."

I begged you to throw out the farm coat

our freshman year.

I mean, you lost both of us

a lot of dates with that thing on, okay?

You've had it since, like, birth.

All right? So do me a little favor.

Let's not pretend that the

Jackie and the, uh, weight... Ow!

And the Jon Bon Jovi hair

are no big thing. Ow! Don't!

'Cause when it comes to routine, you

used to be, like, Mister goddamn Rogers.

It's a f***in' jacket, Phil!

Just lay off.

Go to class.

Uh-huh, fine.

Fine.

I just hope the next time we pass each

other, I recognize who the hell you are.

Oh, yeah? Well, if not, you and Evelyn can

always head over to Record City and have a chat.

Hey! I wouldn't get too deep into the moral

issues during this particular conversation.

Okay, Romeo?

I may have a big f***ing mouth,

but at least I keep it to myself.

Oh! My...

Oh, is it time to go?

Uh-huh?

Fine. So long, matey!

Ow!

You've got my f***in' bag!

Dude!

Seriously, I've got class!

So, everything's good?

Yeah. You know, okay.

Hmm.

You?

Oh, pretty great, actually.

Just studying, working on my art.

Right. You've got that big

thing that youre doing. Mm.

Thesis project for my degree.

And it's going well?

Yeah.

What was it again?

I never said.

Oh. Well, that's why.

Right. It's this sculpture...

thingie.

Nice.

I think what you've done with

Adam... it's really great.

What I've done? Well, just,

you know, he's changed.

That's right. He's changed. of

course. I didn't mean that you...

I know. I'm just saying,

he did the work. Right.

Well, that's always what

they say, though, isn't it?

What?

Who are "they"?

You know, like in Cosmo,

when they have those tests asking you

what you'd like to change about your guy.

Ah, now you're gonna get

all scientific on me.

It's true, though, isn't it? I mean,

almost everyone I've ever gone out with,

if you could alter just

one thing about them or...

even to get them to stop wearing

sunglasses up on their head all the time,

then they'd be perfect.

- Well, it's that sort of deal, isn't it?

- Something like that.

Or it could just be

that I care about him.

Hmm. Well, Phil's got, like, six of those

"one things," but it's the same idea.

Right. And how is old Phil?

Well, he's Phil... six things

away from being amazing.

Hey.

- Hey, Evelyn.

- Adam. Hi.

Jenny. I didn't know that you...

I invited her.

Oh.

Uh...

I like your new jacket.

Phil told me about it.

Oh, yeah. It's, uh,

new.

And your nose...

My God, are you okay?

of course.

It was nothin'.

Falling down

is not nothing.

It looks okay though.

- Anyway, uh...

- Anyway, pull up some floor.

We... got you a juice.

You don't drink coffee.

It's not. It's decaf.

It's still coffee.

Good point.

So I drink coffee. Then I

just don't like the caffeine.

Mm. Jenny was just saying

that she thinks you're great.

I mean, doing great things

with yourself.

Yeah?

Thanks, Jenny. She thinks

youre just about perfect now.

Dont you, Jenn?

I didn't say that.

No. It's true. I'm exaggerating.

She said... and I paraphrase...

"He's changed,"

but she implied for the better.

Oh. Well, I agree.

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